"Carves off the lip, little backhand jam now straight up vertical!"
I watched Matt Wilkinson vs. Disco Stu vs. Dusty Payne last night and found myself quite thoroughly bored. The waves looked fun enough but only the best of the sets were ridden making it a sluggish affair. Dusty bagged a two wave total of 7.60, Disco a not much better 9.17 and Matthew took the heat with a pedestrian 12.67. It made me wonder if the World Surf League should pay acrobats to surf the smaller waves that go unridden. Maybe Zoltan Torkos? Aaron Gorkin Cormican? How much fun would we have watching the sideshow?
In any case, the most interesting bit was a Wilko “best of…” package that was aired during one of many lulls. It showed the World No. 1 winning heats at Snapper then Bells and I could not tell one wave from another. Every single looked the same or as Joe Turpel said, “Carves off the lip, little backhand jam now straight up vertical!” Or “Throws it up vertical, big jam, throws it up vertical!”
And has he found the magic formula? If he gets his board vertical and snaps it or “jams” it a few times as bookends he will get between a mid 7 and a mid 9. Two mid 7s to mid 9s per heat equals a win. Is it inspiring? Not really. Is it exciting? Sometimes. Is it winning surfing? I guess. It fulfills the letter of the WSL’s speed, power, flow law but does it fulfill its spirit?
If Wilko goes on to win the crown this year, after Adriano’s win last, surfing exactly as he has been will the World Surf League contemplate major rules changes? How should unpredictability be rewarded? The sort of thing that we want to share on our social medias?
Seriously the frontside surfing in the early heats was off the chain though.
It’s not a fucking sport
Agreed, this thing is stale, but what do we want? If progression means air reverses on every wave then id rather watch rollerblading. 90% of the ‘innovators’ on tour have disgusting air style that would be laughed at in other board sports. Upright body, window winding, poo stance style with recovery landings should never be encouraged. If airs are to be rewarded, judges need to understand the intricacies of grabs, how they are matched to the maneuver, direction of spin, tweaked and how long they are held.
Along with every score worthy air comes 30 stinkers.
Seems to me a lot of the people wanting nothing but airs are the same people who go to the snow, build a tiny 2 foot kicker somewhere and try backflips all day, that’s not snowboarding, it’s circus tricks that impress wake boarders. Watching the worlds best try mediocre single manoeuvre desperation airs is no different.
Don’t just give them free ideas. What’s wrong with you people.
It’s not a good idea until you have to pay for it.
Yes Chas, repetitive backhand snaps have been constantly overscored for about 5 years now, glad someone finally voiced it. And Wilko has the Zoolander syndrome, can`t turn left…
Parko Vs Medina at Snapper 2 years ago.
and numerous other examples… how else does one explain how Nat Young and Ace Buchan keep making quarterfinals
Over scored backhand snaps – the only reason Ace has managed to stay on tour.
Can’t wait for cloudbreak or even some heats at the box I’m sick of watching head high right point breaks. I mean fuck I would love to surf them but not watch them
I am same – tuned in went that is epic, off shore clean would love to surf it BUT something just not inspiring!!
As everyone always alludes to the formula now is staid and boring, surfing is generally safe, fucked judging, we lose momentum with lay days.
Basically the WSL needs to make every event “Search” style. Yeah the cost will be enormous, may have to put the pros in tents, they will have to rough it a la survivor – but Fuck the rewards would be epic I reckon!! May even pull in new sponsors in that format.
Its just same old same old, with the occasional “wow” factor!!
I’m not sure about Wilko’s backhand formula, but his frontside attack was pure shit on that one left he had yesterday.
I thought the same thing!
Turpel sucks, seriously. I know people say this so often that me saying it is hardly surprising (it’s basically now an established fact) and has any effect, but come on. Half the time he doesn’t even accurately describe what is actually happening on the wave and, to fill up space between rides, he spews such incoherent verbal nonsense that he nearly reaches the incomprehensible level of botched syntax and shit English achieved only by Morgan Williamson in his writing. Also, his monotone, nasally voice drives me up the freaking wall (I’d rather listen to 30 straight minutes of Fran Drescher laughing)! He and Pottz are the worst commentator duo in the history of sports (that’s including any partnership with Joe Buck!). It’s like the WSL keeps them so people complain about the judging a tiny bit less. But that’s neither here nor there…
… good on him for somehow finagling his way into the job.
Top 10 ways to fix the WSL. All these ideas are better than Turpel/Strider rambling. They take a little effort.
1. Get guest commentators in the booth as much as possible. The local legend, shapers, QS pros, judges, anyone. It breaks the monotony.
2. Get some video interviews in the can with as many competitors as possible before the event. Build some backstory. Who are all these WA wildcards? Play the interviews during lulls. This isn’t fucking rocket science.
3. Are people tweeting/gramming about the event? Read them during heats. Get some interaction going.
4. Hire someone for the English speaking broadcast who’s not white as fuck. Even just for appearances’ sake. There is no Brazzo, Hawaiian, South African, European of color they can’t get up there? Freddy P? Maurice Cole? It just looks weird. Take a cue from ESPN here.
5. Draw on the Portuguese broadcast. Do they have some insight on all the Brazzo pros? Put them in the English booth now and then. Those fuckers speak English.
6. More highlights from past events during the lulls.
7. Fine people who claim and get less than a 9 on a wave.
8. Discuss the shark sighting the evening before the Margies comp. WTF happened?
9. Get video of a “do-gooder” volunteer event at each event stop. i.e. Waves for Water in Brazil, animal conservation in South Africa. It’s good PR for the sport. Play that during lulls.
10. Figure out the Heritage Series and make it happen at every event. Spices things up.
*Bonus 11. Make it a habit NOT TO MISS WAVES during the fake commercial break BS. We just watched a house ad and missed three waves? I guess it’s because the comp is on TV in Oz or Hawaii or something, but still WTF.
Agreed, especially 2-6 and 8… all of these things are standard in other major sports, it should be easy enough for the WSL, which considers itself to be, and wants to be taken as a legitimate sport, to make it happen. If it isn’t, then maybe they need new people. If they don’t want to make it happen, then… I don’t know, let it fail. For number 7, I’m liking the idea, since claiming is absolutely out of control, but don’t know whether that would work. I don’t see it as strong enough deterant for the higher ranked and better compensated surfers, but definitely for the journeymen who make less money, which would seem to create an imbalance in fairness… I don’t know, though.
that’s all just polishing a turd.
It’s the turd that needs reinvention …it can’t be polished anymore.
They need a total overhaul of the product…not new ways to dress it up.
Same product= same result. Conservative surfing rewarded, with rare exceptions.
That’s it exactly they are polishing same turd that now is fossilised!
I said above every event is a Search one!!! yes huge cost but imagine that over the sand dune, through the jungle – FUCK ME moment as they found a spot just firing. The search event in Mexico was epic.
Then just lose “no loser round” overlapping man on man.
Reduce the field even so that only top 12 -16 are on Search program.
Combine surfing with Survivor make em rough it through cameras in there. Let them punch shit out of each other in the jungle or at skeleton bay while they search for food
throw cameras that was – have not had coffee
That is the core problem. What do you do, though? Judge different components and break them down separately, like into technical and progression scores that then get averaged? Seems convoluted… Definitely the field needs to be cut, why would anybody want to watch Matt Banting surf heats?
The old ASP format had almost all of these. Who ever is in charge of the webcast at the moment must be related to someone higher up.
The same songs intro repeats twice every ‘commercial break’ that doesn’t actually contain any commercials. Whats the point? Can we not have more than 30 seconds of one song if we have to sit through this.
Somehow they got Potts to stop saying ‘on the planet’ only to have him replace it, and then some, with ‘and that’s for sure’. Its night and day changing from Ronnie/ Ross to Joe/Potts, it’s sending me bi polar. Takes you from listening to actual talking points with R,R to wondering what the point of it all is with J,P.
Put Pete and Rosey in the booth and send J n P out to roam around for a start?
You forgot the most important one: Find better waves! I don’t want to relate to pro surfers as they surf waves of similar size and form as my shitty local break. Aren’t they supposed to be living the dream for us?
I wish there was a share button. Oh wait.
Starting the year with three right-hand, lined up, infrequently barreling waves feeds this. Wilko will get his backhand jammed when things change up. Agreed though, so…much…of…the…same…thing…
Shouldn’t that be Disco Stu™?
I’m partial to Baby Herman but that’s neither here nor there.
Turpel needs a backhand jam