I am a terrible cynic. If some human
achievement hews too closely to a perfect storyline then I
automatically discount it. Take Kobe Bryant’s final game in the
NBA. He scored 60 points and I thought, “Yeah right. Totally”
(using my sarcastic internal voice). Or Mick Fanning’s J-Bay
victory. I thought, “Mmmhmm rad” (using the same sarcastic internal
voice but with a touch more condescension).
It just seems too… too… perfect.
In any case, Rory Parker wrote so well about the final day that
I don’t need to go retread that ground but I did read a very
interesting nugget this morning in the Sydney Morning Herald that
is worth discussing. The win puts Mick 5th in the world. Matt
Wilkinson is still 1st meaning, really, Mick is 4th in the world.
The three ahead of him, John John, Gab and ADS, are formidable but
I certainly feel the title would be Mick’s for the taking. Don’t
you?
But this morning I read this:
“I’ve already said I’ll go to Trestles (California) and that
will be my last event of the year,” he said.
“World titles aren’t the biggest thing for me any
more.”
Which is sort of a shocker, no? Or at least a shocker to admit.
It seems like Mick was a born competitor and that the ASP/WSL was
his heart’s true home. Where he would grow old and be chaired into
retirement.
But if world titles aren’t the biggest thing anymore what is?
Has he had a full enlightenment? Will next year find him in an
Indian ashram? Helping the poor in Newark, New Jersey? Running for
political office?
Also, what does Kelly think when he reads this quote? Does he
think, “Yeah. Awesome since you were never going to catch me anyhow
#elevensies.” (using his incredulous internal voice) or does he
think, “What? What? What have you discovered out there?” (using his
panicked one)
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"Let's light it up, let's enjoy it," Mick tells
John.
An act so polished you can see your reflection in
it.
Finals day at J-Bay was a pleasant
surprise.
I was expecting garbage. Because that’s just the way life goes.
Usually.
Glorious surprise! It was super rippable. So much fun to watch.
Enough going on that the surfers could get going on. Some slow
moments but nothing terrible.
And dolphins too!
The day started off okay. Kerr/Slater saw smallish, semi lined
up surf. Not very exciting. Kerr took the win. Kelly didn’t sound
very concerned during his interview.
Medina/Wilson failed to wow as well. Medina started the day off
with a good one, earned an 8.33, but couldn’t back it up. Julian
found two mid range scores, added them together, had point four
enough to squeak through.
Then it started warming up. Bigger, better. Wet dream waves.
Easy as pie to shine for a world class surfer. Toledo surfed well
but Fanning put him down with ease. Mick’s just got his deal down
too pat. White heat lightning speed snaps and whacks and down the
line floaters. An act so polished you can see your reflection in
it.
Toledo tried his best, surfed well, but couldn’t match
Fanning.
The thing with Mick… he obviously surfs for points, but he does
it so damn well. Ridiculously well. Kung fu master who puts his
body in the right spot every single time. And it can get boring to
watch. But sometimes, like today, you remember it’s something
special you’ve stopped appreciating because you’ve been seeing it
for so long.
John John was killing it, laying down gut wrenching laybacks,
stringing together smooth little arcs into the inside. One super
projected frontside rev to the flats. Very exciting.
Kerr looked like he was having trouble warming up. Just a touch
off. Still good, but not good enough to beat the kid. He looked his
age, basically.
JJF sent home the vet, made his second final of the year, and
kicked Wilko’s title campaign squarely in the nuts.
So many claims today. And the guys were paying for them. That
extra couple seconds headed to shore puts them in some shallow
shallow shallow water. A few amusing moments as they flounder into
deeper water.
From his first wave of the semi it was obvious Fanning was
sending Wilson home. Picking better waves, surfing in fast forward.
Dropped an 8.1 on his first wave, a 9 on his next. Then just sat
there while Wilson caught wave after wave and tried to catch
up.
He didn’t and Mick does amazingly well for someone who wasn’t
going to do the tour this year.
Tried and true high speed perfection versus next gen innovative
style. Warms my icy heart, fills my ears with birdsong.
But, sweet jumping jimminy Christ, can they work on the filler?
The cookies and milk break between semi and final was so
boring!
I wonder how much effort Strider and Mel and Blakey and Turpel
and Pottz put into their commentator duties between events? Do you
think they plan out little bits, fill a notebook with talking
points? That’s what I would do. It seems like they just show up and
do it to it. Which seems like it’d be the harder way. Just free
flowing all day long is a crazy challenge.
They’ve got paper and pen in front of them, but it might just be
there so they have something to do with their hands.
After what felt like forever the heat finally got started.
Fanning found one on the inside in the first minute. Crazy
racetrack at the beginning into bread and butter. But it’s good
bread and butter. Like, a crispy warm baguette and some freshly
churned deliciousness.
Florence made it look like shit. Hand drag slash, flowing
reverse, then two point scorers to seal it up. Ross mentions once
again that “it’s a smaller wave,” but is it? The kid from Hawaii is
a foot taller. Maybe it’s a crazy optical illusion!
8.5 slaps the taste of winning out of Mick’s mouth for a moment.
Then he wraps his lips back around it and takes a deep suckle.
Cracks an overhead set into a 9.93. Which is high. Low nine, sure.
Mid-nine, maybe. Oh-seven from perfect? I won’t by that banana.
After along lull John John finally gets his second wave. Hangs
up his first turn, ends it with a toward shore heave. Not the 8.61
he needs.
Next set sees both guys get a good one. Mick does the high speed
down the line flow thing. JJF opts for a big turn to slide check to
close out rev. JJ gets the score he needs but Fanning’s wave get’s
him a bump so it doesn’t matter.
Fanning wins JBay in fun head high surf.
I’d’ve given the heat to Florence. But it was a close thing.
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Those damn brain eating amoeba could potentially lurk
here, here and here.
A week ago, it was reported, here, that Texas’ first
Wavegarden was about to be hit with a lawsuit by local
authorities for being built without attention to “county and state
health and safety codes.”
The problem was, Travis County says NLand Surf
Park is a public swimming pool and, therefore,
has to be filled with chlorine to keep bacteria from exceeding safe
limits. NLand Surf Park says they’re a lake and can skip the
chlorine etc.
BeachGrit speculated the sudden decision by Travis
County to sue was in relation to brain-eating amoebas that had killed a
star kayaker in a man-made river back in June. Who wants kids
dying on their watch?
Happy children, yes, but for how long? asks
Travis County officials.
Now, as announced today, NLand Surf Park is suing Travis
County right back. Countersuit!
Let’s study NLand’s announcement.
As you might know, the Travis County Commissioners Court
authorized a lawsuit against NLand, which was filed yesterday. They
believe our lagoon—which is 45 times larger than an
Olympic-size swimming pool—should be regulated simply as a
“public swimming pool.”
To protect our Constitutional rights, we have
filed a lawsuit against the County, its health department and
the individuals on the Court.
Throughout its development, NLand has focused on building a
state-of-the-art facilities that feature water treatment,
filtration, world-class surfing and
environmentally-friendly practices. Our efforts have accomplished
that goal.
Unfortunately, Travis County officials and the
Travis County Commissioners Court have refused to engage in
conversation. They have not acknowledged our studies or asked
one question to gain perspective in this matter. Instead, they have
tried to inflame the conversation by suggested we could have
amoebas in our lagoon. If they’re so concerned about
amoebas, you’d think they would take a look at the studies or
talk to us about our water treatment systems.
Rather than listen, the County filed a lawsuit
against us. This is just a bad decision for the county, for
its residents, and our employees, including more than 50
teenagers from Del Valle and Cedar Creek who have joined our
team. The Court has the ability to change course and meet with
us to find solutions that work for everyone in Travis County. In
fact, the county health department has the authority to do
exactly that.
Believe us, we would rather be on the water with you than in
a courtroom arguing about regulations.
We still hope to open
this summer and we believe a win-win solution exists for
Travis County, for NLand and for you. If you’d like them to
restart the dialogue, their contact information is below.
Surfline says the J-Bay Pro will run in
ankle-to-waist high waves. That ain't good.
Two days left in the J-Bay waiting period and
things look grim.
Surfline is calling for ankle to waist
for the last two days of the waiting period. That ain’t good. I’m
sure J-Bay can be fun at that size, but it ain’t exactly
contestable.
The tedium of sitting through hours of wait, grovel, repeat is
torture.
Assigning tour points because of a results which will largely
depend on luck is unfair. Leads to mismatches, weird winners. Micro
Hall taking Snapper. No displays of skill, just coin flip heat
totals and endless jibber jabber as the commentators strive to fill
dead air.
Which has gotta be hard. Especially when your content is so
obviously restricted. Can’t second guess scores, can’t acknowledge
anything resembling negativity.
I’m curious to see what the WSL does. My money’s on it running
in garbage. A lackluster end to an event which showed some
potential then failed to deliver.
I’m gonna make a plea, hope someone reads this and takes my
advice. Call it off. Split the points, split the money. Accept that
a sport that relies on nature is gonna get skunked on the
regular.
Grovel days make surfing look bad. Makes the surfers look bad.
It turns heat scores into a matter of luck. It gifts a huge
advantage to the teensy weensy guys on tour. It’s
boring.
Yeah, there’s other stuff to consider. Sponsors and local
businesses and the ever present need to keep yourself in the public
eye. But there are workarounds. Just ‘cuz you can’t run the contest
doesn’t mean there’s nothing to broadcast.
Do a couple hours of interviews. Put that SaMo production house
to use and keep some filler material in the can for moments like
these. Run a no rules exhibition session.
Force the guys remaining to paddle out on logs or fishes or
retro whatevers. No priority/interference rules. Award some money
to whoever “wins.” Or don’t, just add a clause to the rule book
that makes it mandatory should an event fail to finish.
I’d watch that. I’d enjoy it.
(Editor’s note:Magic Seaweed is calling three-to-five
feet and underneath Surfline‘s ankle-to-waist
call, they note: “Large mid-period swell from the west-southwest
holding during the day.”)
Goofy foots are Occy and regular foots are Luke
Stedman. Goofy foots are short and squatty and they muscle
through turns and throw lots of spray. Regular foots are long and
lean and surf like beautiful women.
Goofy foots have rotund buttocks. Regular foots do not.
Goofy foots eat steak with every meal. Regular foots are
vegetarian or maybe pescatarian.
Goofy foots sing drunken ballads late at night. Regular foots do
not.
Goofy foots squander their incomes, when they make the World
Tour, on drink. Regular foots begin savings accounts and hire tax
consultants.
Goofy foots buy brand new tract homes in brand new suburban
neighborhoods. They buy large, new pick-up trucks to go with their
homes and add wives but usually cheat on their wives. Regular foots
rent hipster apartments in the newest hip area of town. They
decorate with Eames chairs and Jean-Michel Basquiat prints. They
buy bikes instead of cars and don’t get married but cheat on their
girlfriends.
Goofy foots like slashes off the top and sending tons of spray
into the air. Regular foots like straight frontside airs.
Goofy foots love to do floaters. Regular foots do not.
Goofy foots vote for conservative political candidates. Regular
foots vote for progressive ones.
Goofy foots listen to nu-metal. Regular foots listen to nu-new
wave.
Goofy foots wish they were regular foots. Regular foots wish
they were relevant, culturally.
It’s a real toss up who is better but, today, I’d say regular
foots.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
