A shocking revelation! Or wait...
Goofy foots are Occy and regular foots are Luke Stedman. Goofy foots are short and squatty and they muscle through turns and throw lots of spray. Regular foots are long and lean and surf like beautiful women.
Goofy foots have rotund buttocks. Regular foots do not.
Goofy foots eat steak with every meal. Regular foots are vegetarian or maybe pescatarian.
Goofy foots sing drunken ballads late at night. Regular foots do not.
Goofy foots squander their incomes, when they make the World Tour, on drink. Regular foots begin savings accounts and hire tax consultants.
Goofy foots buy brand new tract homes in brand new suburban neighborhoods. They buy large, new pick-up trucks to go with their homes and add wives but usually cheat on their wives. Regular foots rent hipster apartments in the newest hip area of town. They decorate with Eames chairs and Jean-Michel Basquiat prints. They buy bikes instead of cars and don’t get married but cheat on their girlfriends.
Goofy foots like slashes off the top and sending tons of spray into the air. Regular foots like straight frontside airs.
Goofy foots love to do floaters. Regular foots do not.
Goofy foots vote for conservative political candidates. Regular foots vote for progressive ones.
Goofy foots listen to nu-metal. Regular foots listen to nu-new wave.
Goofy foots wish they were regular foots. Regular foots wish they were relevant, culturally.
It’s a real toss up who is better but, today, I’d say regular foots.
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I laughed until the nu-metal bit. Fuck you Charles
As Goofy footer myself you pretty fuckin spot on – except last 2 points
So there’s a skinny occy and a fat occy, which one will go on the stamp?
shit eh, all the dead regular foots (eg Dora, Bunker Spreckles, MP, Buttons, Keith Paull, and AI) will be itching to drop in on Chas when he joins them in Hell.
He’s already ” welcome” though?
well that goes without saying
Btw your ten channel looks epic, just saying.
Doesn’t it! Maybe I’ll do a review of it here on BeachGrit!
Honestly, that would be the best thing to happen in a while I’m surprised that guy even acknowledges me on insta when I do a channeled board but i like the fact he pulls no punches, how’s the guy from stewart trying to tell phil he’s a ,” wanna be?” oh col smith only rode six channels, jesus tapdancing crist that was hard to not just go off. It almost turned in to a ” get him” scenario ie rory MC but with an actual claim.
Yeah that was a pretty sad effort from whats-his-name. Like telling Al Merrick that Kelly only ever rode pintails “because I saw him ride one once”
I don’t know the guys name but his page says ” head shaper at stewart surfboards ” um he’s not bing ,bill is still shaping, he lost a lot of credibility on that one. I’ll say some stupid shit but that was next level.
Please do – it’s about time these fuckers got off of Biolas’ dick.
Apparently everyone is over white low rocker thrusters and magic volume oil drums. With an occasional “fuck everybody else” drunk speach in bali. Still making wood twins over here!
Do it!
Goofy foots prefer North Dakota. Regular foots ranch in Dakota the southern. Goofy foots (all) are 38 years of age. Regular foots (all) 36. Goofy foots have been to Cuba. Regular foots have not. Goofy foots are hallucinations. Regular foots are the truth that might be out there. Goofy foots haven’t slept in a few days. Regular foots are calling collect from a payphone. Goofy foots didn’t close the bar door on the way out and it got pretty brisk in there for a second. Regular foots forgot the last four numbers of their social security # in the heat of transaction. Goofy foots just this afternoon missed the connection at LaGuardia. Regular foots did the same at JFK having misread the terminal exits from the AirTrain. Goofy foots drive like this…
I can’t believe I forgot all these….
It’s the synapse gap from being a “nazi drug user”-inertia (paraphrased)
Someone tell poor Craig Anderson
And Chris Ward
next..
God is a goofy though. Evidence: Pipe, Teahupoo, Cloudbreak and best spots in Indo all break left.
There’s really good rights in central America, regular foots don’t blow up an epic rivermouth,goofy’s do.
ADS is a regular foot and carries a fourth degree blackbelt in floater. Reckon his turds don’t even flush anymore. Theorem flawed, but only slightly.
Impressively, you nailed all but one of the goofy foot traits.
Which one do you reckon is off?
They’re all spot on, but has missed the correlated right foot forward gene with the ‘take over the world’ flickable switch gene which we aren’t supposed to talk about.
Wow, you must be on some good sh*t tonight.
With a rich wife and that haircut, it still has rope marks on it.
I literally (and liberally) sprayed beer and joint ash at that…for some reason…fuck you Turd ferguson