While at the same time admitting, "We sneak lollipops to bed while mom's not looking and lick them under the covers!"
I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of pleasure surfing’s “definitive voice” gives me. Venice adjacent’s The Inertia pioneers never-before-seen realms of kookiness not seen since… since… since… ever. It would be difficult to come up with the amount of embarrassing content the website posts daily in an entire year.
There’s founder Zach Weisberg in the corner taking a bow! Oh wait, no, I’m sorry, he’s standing tall at 5’1″ but should be taking a bow because whew! Exhausting!
Let’s examine yesterday, for example. After posting a piece on the dangers of drugs and alcohol (?), The Inertia doubled down with a serious story about Pokemon.
Shall we read?
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past week, you’ve probably noticed. The Pokemon craze is sweeping the nation.Pokemon Go is the newest game in the Pokemon franchise of video games. But unlike past iterations, it can be played on your iPhone or Android, and utilizes your phone’s location services so that as you move in real life, you move in the game. In fact, that’s the point. The game is impossible to play stationary. One must constantly be moving to search for new Pokemon, battle other trainers at gyms, and do anything within the game.
With number of players exceeding the number of Twitter users in the United States, the game is taking over. It may not be long before we start seeing Pokemon out in the lineup.
Bravo! And there’s founder Zach Weisberg in the corner holding his mighty scepter! All hail the King of the Kooks! Oh wait, no, I’m sorry, his mighty scepter is an iPhone or Android and he’s utilizing his phone’s location services so that as he moves in real life, he moves in the lame.
I mean game.
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The real “surf riot”.
Well back then who knows I’m only 31 but the original one was fucking mental. I stayed with an old asian family when i was there and they told me there were a ton of skins in that area at the time . With DI and all the other Semi borderline nazi punk bands emerging I could believe it. But it’s all hear say. Not to mention how many bad tattoo coverups I saw.
Yeah but you can’t even create a more punk image than a cruiser upside down on fire in front of a halfpipe with the huntington pier in it. But that’s when punk was still punk, and Huntington was a white supremacist dream, still is. Lotta incognito nazi’s glassing in that area.
I mean the riots were pretty cool back in the day, the last one was a bunch of trustafarians who didn’t even know you need to rock the car the proper way to flip it, the shocks are your friend rythym!
I don’t think they realized when they thought they were messing with the little ginger kid in class, he was an o’doyle. I mean the range of insults goes from ” you suck” to “your a midget pedo” can’t imagine the confidence levels soaring over there right now.
I would like more pokemon in my surf sessions please
The Inertia is everything that is wrong with surfing
Hmmm…Yep. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
C’mon Chas. We can’t all be one of the cool kids.
Embrace multiculturalism. Dorks are people too. And often quite charming.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
My creed.
It’s not about being uncool…it’s about being shit!
You guys are constantly taking a dump on them and at some point its going to stink this place up. Go get yourself an Inertia enema and be done with this topic.
Fuck that, bottle the hate stench like an expensive French perfume and sell it for top dollar.
“as he moves in real life, he moves in the lame.” now that’s writing!
yeah, when did Redsand and Sideout come back?
Hahahaha Redsand!
I think ergophobia falls in there too. ” let’s sponsor EVERYONE. IT CAN’T FAIL! “
I still have an account as a contributing writer (from when i called out felipe blocking dusty at pipe two years ago) we can literally attack from the inside out. The inertia is basically the participation trophy of surf journalism. Oh you looked at a surfboard once at a shop? Cool you can be a surf writer! Yay! We’re all cool because we wrote stuff about surfing!!! No one else let us into their cool guy club so we made this one!
There’s a reason most people dont get to be surf journalist. Its because they suck at writing, its because the closest they ever got to a surf heat is watching a WSL live stream(let alone ever actually surfed in a heat)
We needed the people at the mags to be in control of the narrative. Because 99% of the surf world sucks, and when you grind your way through the bullshit to get the honor of being one of the contributors to real surf media, you 1.) Deserve a check, and 2.) Have a responsibility not to fuck the system up.
The inertia is the antithesis of that whole program.
Well that’s why i started shaping but i was an angry 15 year old who couldn’t get a foot in the door so started my own shit. Still don’t work for a one fucking boss to this day. The inertia seems more like a fireman with too much time and money so they start shaping if that metaphor or simile makes any sense,i don’t know I’m fucked on fumes right now.
It makes sense. So does being fucked on fumes hahaha. I spent a day shooting Rodhe at WRV’s factory and like an idiot didnt wear a mask. Fucking drive home was horrendous…
Yeah there’s a reason the old guys ask if ” your on glue” when your talking out your ass I’m no scientist but the compounds in catalyzed resin and airplane glue have to have some similar effects.
Cheers! Turd F.
Is the system you refer to the “The Good Old Bro…system?” Inertia! I rarely go there but they are smart to to incorporate the other lifestyle sports ie. Mountain.. For a few years I rock climbed way more than I surfed and the core climbers are way more interesting than the average surf dude. The bottom line in another ten years it will be a legitimate portal for these activities as another generation passes through. Just like the number of surf shop’s that owners don’t surf or the shaper’s who don’t surf very well… Back to the so cool I’m in the surf industry, I’m better than you Bro system. I’ve met a couple those guys, wonderful people!
Yeah that system. Its not to hard to break into. You just have to not be a dick and put some travel time in. Oh and bust your ass really really hard. I may not be all the way there yet but i know my foots in the door. You’re right about the mountain guys though.
We have more in common than you think..
Rory incorporates other lifestyle sports as well, though – spear fishing, drug abuse, marriage….
Are the chicks in that picture even 18? Shit, I know homie is short, but that young-young is gross.
If he is 5’1 then they are 12-13yrs old and prob both 4’6 tall!!
I feel like beating the dead horse that is the intertia, while fun for a stint, has become lame in and of itself.
While typically I would agree, I feel The Inertia has reached such a low sucky ebb that it must be shamed until it goes away entirely. It is an utter piece of shit and embarrasses us all in its very existence.
Tell us how you really feel Chas!
you got hit these guys where it hurts, time to knee these jabronis right in listicles. heres a few to get started. “5 things all the top rippers do to improve their slide acumen”
1. Always secure your lease to and from the water, wrap it tightly around the tail of the board. (bonus points if you get the cuff onto the fin)
2. All fin Plugs must be filled; 5 FCSII Plugs = Five Fins no more no less
3. Accent stripes on wetsuits and trunks help improve balance and swing weight while powering through turns and full rotes
4. Save time by putting go pro mounts on each board in your quiver, (I buy mine in Bulk!)
5. Reappropriation of beatnik culture is a must if wishing to ride alternative craft. If posting a instagram pic of your new 7’8″ planing hull, be sure to include one of the following “going for a (slide, boogie, jazzy jaunt)” bonus points for astrological emojis and referencing friends as mer-maids/men.
(not actually written by inertia contributing editor)
Your skills make me jealous! And laugh!
mic drop!
Chas, if you wanna go after The Inertia, you gotta grab them by their fucking throat. Meaning, their weakness lies in name alone. The Inertia is a website. It lacks properties of matter. It has no mass and does not take up space. It has no mass therefore it cannot rest upon any discussion of or adherence to matter with mass, matter with inertia numerically measured by its mass. Inertia is measured by mass, without mass there is no inertia. They cannot defy the laws of physics which leaves us with only ONE proper usage of the noun inertia in “The Inertia”.
inertia
noun in·er·tia \i-ˈnər-shə, -shē-ə\
Popularity: Top 20% of words
Simple Definition of inertia
: lack of movement or activity especially when movement or activity is wanted or needed
: a feeling of not having the energy or desire that is needed to move, change, etc.
Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary
I wish I was smarter/less hungover when writing.
This is fun.
fuck i hate surfing.
not wave riding.
surfing.
i know why the kooks of komedy ban the word s…, and it is not only because it helps get chas drunk.
fuck the inertia.
spit.
skol.
The Inertia imagines that they are what people imagine when they imagine “Surf Culture.” Which is one of several reasons I don’t admit in public to being a “surfer.”
the guys doing the creative for Corona and Pacifico must have these barns on retainer