Compelling final episode of #TourNotes from the Hurley Pro…
As I’ve posited before, is a tour event really over unless Peter King has dropped his climatic episode of #TourNotes?
Peter King, as you already know, is a former pro surfer who once acted as the dom in a three-way musical act with Kelly Slater and Rob Machado. His three-minute shorts are filmed, mostly, on an iPhone and edited quickly, although presumably they must pass through the WSL filter thereby delaying their release by a day.
In this episode of #TourNotes, and which you can access via the WSL site at the bottom of the page, is a tribute to the Hurley Pro, an event that soared hither and yon, upwards and sideways and through a torrent of tears and hissed accusations.
The hero, of course, was Brett Simpson, who with pigmentation consistent with rust and a WCT record of the sort even Wikipedia even recoils from it, was expected by nobody to utilise his wildcard in a dangerous manner.
First, he swats Matt Wilkinson, the early leader for the world title in round two.
Second, he almost doubles John John Florence’s heat score to give the current number one a second-last place.
Third, Michel Bourez is similarly despatched in round five.
It takes eventual contest winner Jordy Smith to extinguish Simpo’s flame in the quarter finals.
“It took the Lowers Giant to get me. Sucked the air right out of me!” says Simpo.
This #TourNotes is not memorable for those things, but these: we see John John gamely shake the hand of Simpo after losing what he clearly thought was an unloseable heat; a not very gorgeous boy is set up to ask Kelly for John John’s autograph and, best of all, Miguel Pupo makes fun of Michel Bourez and his ghastly backside hop: “When I saw that Bourez air, I think it was…cute. (It made me) remember when I was young and I pulled my first air”.
Filipe, meanwhile, is busy with baby showers and his Fantasy Surfer team.
Watch #TourNotes: Simpo The White Unicorn! here.
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Simpo will make a great Inland Empire Hurley rep.
Felipe is the coolest Brazilian. Offset by his dad though.
The coolest Brazilian? I’m thinking a completely different industry.
Remember when #tournotes was fun, candid and a bit edgy? You know, when it showed the Michel chugging beers for missing a putt in the back yard? Now we get Michel in a funny hat with hair attached. Thanks WSL for once again sucking the personality out of surfing and turning #tournotes into complete horseshit. You guys must have a bottomless pit of vanilla in the U.S. You keep smearing it on everything. Even Buddy Light couldn’t save this episode…
Brock Stetson?
If Simpo wants to reignite his competitive career he reaaaly needs to change his name.’Brett Simpson’ suggests more front-end software developer than successful pro surfer to me.
If only he had a catchy nick name
Brett “the footballer’s son” Simpson. Distinguished.
“the American footballer’s son”
…don’t want to be associated with no soccer ninnies.
Well Brett is the lower strength less successful version of Bill, so his nickname should be Billy Light. As in Bud Light, but not quite as shithouse as that.
You haven’t lived until you’ve got pissed drunk on Budweiser and burgers at a tailgate party before an NFL game
Speaking of, is Football Dad Simpson a worthy sidelines-yelling analogue to the much deplored Brazilian Dad? I suspect so.
MIA in recent years, definitely was all over webcasts for a few seasons after Jr. cracked the tour.