A buffoon-in-chief will be hilarious!
Motherfucker. I truly did not see that coming.
Should’ve, probably. Just didn’t want to believe a campaign built on hate could win. But it did. Wasn’t even close. Bigotry and fear took the day, get to run with the ball for the next four years. Probably eight, if we’re being honest.
But the world isn’t ending.
Nothing has really changed.
We’re the same group of assholes today that we were yesterday.
Is it absurd that we elected a reality TV star to run our country? Yep.
Is he going to use the Senate and House majority to roll back every positive environmental and public health program we’ve got? Probably.
Am I allowed to call people niggers and faggots and beaners again? Looks like it.
To be fair, I’ll only be applying that license to the racial or ethnic or sexual minorities who supported him. They signed up for it.
But it’s not all doom and gloom. Well, maybe mostly, but if you want to read that type of stuff you can find it anywhere at the moment. I’d prefer to focus on the bright side.
Comedy golden era
A buffoon-in-chief will be hilarious, there’s no way around it. Whether he’s committing social gaffes among his fellow heads of state, or engaging in late night Twitter wars with detractors, the presence of a President without a filter will make for endless opportunities for solid humor.
Sure, a lot of the laughing will be the kind you do in order to avoid tears. But that’s fine. Comedy comes from pain. Saturday Night Live will catch fire for a few years, South Park has Mr Garrison in the White House.
He gave a voice to the voiceless
But not really. He exposed a lot of people for the close-minded xenophobe bigots they truly are, and tricked them into thinking they were represented. But, the truth of the matter is, that fairly large subsection of our population has been largely ignored because they are stupid. Easily led, receptive to demagoguery, willing to believe anyone who spews venom that overlaps with their own. But first and foremost, stupid.
They may think they’ll get what they want, but they don’t know what they want. And no one cares anyway. The frustration as that fact dawns on them will be delicious.
The Red State Blues
The jobs are gone, they ain’t coming back. All the Rust Belt retards who think Heir Trump will somehow bring back all the off-shored manufacturing jobs are gonna learn real quick that those were just empty promises. The Trump presidency will be about putting as much money as possible in the hands of the ruling class. You don’t do that by paying a living wage. You definitely don’t do that by supporting unions.
“BUT YOU PROMISED!” they’ll cry, while fighting for crusts of bread in the gutter. “You said you’d make us great again. This isn’t great at all.”
Goodbye Obamacare
Thank jeebus I can afford private insurance. Great coverage, the best!
But guess what? Repealing the Affordable Care Act will mean insurance companies can once again charge more, or deny coverage outright, due to pre-existing conditions. Which is a serious problem if you’re an obese redneck motherfucker with adult-onset diabetes. Ditto if you’re an aging baby boomer about to experience the litany of ailments that comes with senior status.
Global Warming isn’t real
I’m not reproducing, what do I care about the future health of our environment? Fuck it, let’s burn shit to the ground.
Of course, the white bread faux-Christian mouth-breathers who farted out a vote for Trump yesterday breed like a rats. Pumping out child after child, fruitlessly multiplying. They need a planet to host the poisonous detritus that springs forth from their wombs.
Luckily for them, the type of half wit imbecile their tainted bodies produce will be well suited to surviving the aftermath of our planet’s destruction. Retreat to caves, return to their troglodyte roots.
They set a precedent
Fuck unity. Fuck brotherhood. Fuck national identity.
It’s us versus them, ain’t no two ways about it. Hopefully the more liberal-minded souls will finally realize that, if you want to fight a pig, you’ve gotta get down in the mud. No more attempts at discussion or ideological parity. Stop pretending there are rules, start doing what it takes to win.
It’s time to throw our idealism in the garbage, where it belongs. Face the cold hard truth that you’ve gotta employ violence to get what you want. That’s it’s okay to trample another person in your quest for a brighter tomorrow. That truth has no place in reality, and that the ends always justify the means.
Yep.
What was the name of the surf forecasting site you ran?
…..as stated, most of Middle America is uneducated and desperate….
nice one bro – you chased your cock to a good spot on the map.
Rory you might have pointed out the only real silver lining in this cloud of irreparable bullshit: Trump’s election as President I suspect finally spells the doom of the Baby Boomers. No longer will the world be tortured by their febrile obsessions, their attempts at Personal Growth, their mid-career crises, their dreadful movies, their idiot willingness to pay $300 to watch the Rolling fucken Stones. Think about it: can you see Donald Trump in “The Big Chill”? No you can’t. Trump and his electorate are the Anti-Boomers and they will machine gun every remaining farcical trope of the Boomer age, including the unspoken certainty of American global dominance which has propped up every Boomer extravagance, from est to Hot Yoga. And when the smoke clears, other, far smarter and more frightening people will be running things.
Combine est with hot yoga and you might have something. And the Donald’s smoke may need half life calculations.
Fingers crossed!
it’s a great day to be not (u.s.) american…
The next “president” of the United States personally blocked me on twitter. He’s that’s fucking sensitive. And yeah fuck coming together and reconciling differences. Total resistance and obstruction all day, all the way. Just like they did to the first black president for 8 years.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Also I don’t think it is a coincidence that the day Trump was elected California was firing, the east coast was firing, Mavericks was 20ft plus, and Jaws is running tomorrow. He made surfing great again
Thank God i can use the word nigger at school again. Bring me back to 1950 where I could of drank from my own fucking water fountain without some spook slobbering all over me!
“At school again”
It’ll be especially hilarious if you’re a person of color, female, not straight, or any combination thereof! HAHAHAHAHAfuck
It’s amazing how many white, straight dudes keep telling themselves that while it won’t be bad for us, we feel bad for everybody else, as if the fires aren’t going to kill us all.
“White guilt can be a work of art.” -D.Boon
Ah Boony. A great Australian Cricketer of his time who once reportedly sank 56 VB tinnies on a bet during an international flight and had to be removed from the plane semi conscious and lightly covered in vomit.
This Why I Keep Choppas On Deck
Once again the popular vote is negated by the electoral college. Went poorly last time (unless you had Halliburton stock) and will go south this time around, too. Halliburton shares rose .69 cents (+1.49%) closing at 47.82.
Fucking Halliburton …..a new low, way worse than Bush.
Do you take Kolohe as a Trump supporter??
was just thinking the same thing…yes definitly
You need to read the Illuminatus Trilogy.
Also, episode six of the podcast, starring you! is up now.
https://soundcloud.com/each…
that looks more like you Rory.
Looks like Hunter S. Thompson.
pretty offended by the comment about teachers being too stupid to become anything else. I think you’ll find its too stupid and lazy
Played well off each other and enjoyed just hearing about an every day strugglers experience of Island life, sounds like a good cunt too.
Like a Kiwi Benicio Del Toro.
You should do a pod cast with Negs, purely bc I’ve always imagined in my heart of hearts that he would sound like a cross between Dave Chappelle’s impersonation of a white guy and Murray from Flight of the Conchords.
bwahahahahahahahaha
now that donald runs disneyland…
mickey worries about the future…
goofy is silly happy…
scrooge gets richer…
joe carioca is deported…
As fun and all as it is delve into or take the piss out of them, the problem with conspiracy theories is that if enough people believe in them, they become a means to rabble rouse ala Trump. I thought people were over-egging it calling Trump a facist – that is, until I took a look at Umberto Eco’s 14 properties of facism…wow
I’m so bored of this topic.
try brazzo politics, it has been hilarious… :-/
Will be a bigly entertaining four years!
if 50 million idiots have 10 kids each how the flip do 50 million wise men with their 2 kids outvote them in 20 years time? eeeeeek democracy.
Diabetes.