It ain't easy, I know!
You believe in god? Oh really.
Can you explain: cancer in children, archaeological evidence of dinosaurs millions of years prior to the fabled garden of eden and the Orient not being privy to the revelations of the monotheistic religions until the nineteenth century therefore condemning millions of Asians to a fiery hell?
And… red-heads. Tell me a benevolent god would deliberately curse but one of his children with a ginger crown? That said, gal reds are gorgeous.
“Red-headed women buck like goats,” said James Joyce, and this I can vouch for.
It’s interesting to note that there has only ever been two professional surfers with red hair and even more interesting is the fact both come from Maui. There is Dusty Payne (who, again, interestingly, claims to have “auburn” hair) and Cheyne Magnusson, the one-time star of the 2007 MTV reality show Maui Fever.
I loved Maui Fever (even if I got it confused with Living Lahaina). Cheyne, who is now thirty three years old and married and living in Oceanside, was the star of the short-lived series. It may be hard to believe, but, often, Cheyne had to contend with myriad women fighting to have their wombs scraped by his crooked sword.
Cursed by god, but succeeding beyond all measure, how could anyone not admire Mr Magnusson. Plus, he ripped. Anyway, yesterday, totally out of the wild, Cheyne sent me a very kind email. It read:
Just wanna say first and foremost I’m a big fan of your blog. Its my favorite one to look at because you guys tell it like it is. Big fan. Anyways, thanks for pushing that Clay baja edit a couple weeks ago I was super stoked you guys picked it up. I have been trying to help him out and get another large scale film project going with him and the brand JSLV. They are rad, trying to make a push in surf but keep it core and take care of their athletes. Anyways I got some residual clips while chaperoning Clay around and they were cool enough to produce an edit for me. Just passing it your way to see if you guys have any interest in putting it out there. Keep fighting the good fight for the industry. Loving all the articles. Also, you are spot on about the inertia.
I replied that I loved Living Lahaina and said I would run his little short.
Cheyne wrote back:
Oh my god. It was maui fever goddamit!!! HAHAHAHA. Now i like you guys even more. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I wrote: I sat by my television for years waiting for a new season!
Cheyne wrote: I layed in the fetal position for years hoping people would forget about it! 😜😜😜
I asked: Whatever happened to that super cute gal you used to nail on Living Lahaina?
Cheyne wrote: Well for one it was called maui fever. The other one that was called living lahaina was a bunch of surf instructors that weren’t from maui. I’d actually like to publicly apologize to anyone who had the unpleasant experience of watching it. The blondes name was Anna. She moved to Hollywood after the show and there was a rumor flying around that she dated marilyn manson. Not sure if thats true. She still lives in LA. Randomly, I am actually engaged and having a kid with a girl that she met when she moved here. Completely coincidental. Small fuckin world. I actually hate that chapter of my life but hey, it made me a stronger, smarter ginger on the back end.
Finally I asked Cheyne two things:
Has being red been an impediment in your life and how can a red find love and sex?
Yes, it has impeded my ability to blend in anywhere in the world except for the country of Ireland. Also, since being red makes me a ginger, I have no soul, which means I shouldn’t be trusted so that sucks. That being said, I quote the great eric cartman who stated “better red than dead.”
That’s easy, first, impress them with your shredding skills on the board. Next, dazzle them with some tequila shots and a freaky dance move like the worm. Third, bust out the burning bush, chicks dig red pubes. You heard it here first, and probably last. But remember, I shouldn’t be trusted so thats actually a load of crap and I just got extremely lucky and I think my chick has terrible eyesight! Good luck out there fellow rangas.
Don’t you love a story of a man triumphing against the odds? Watch his nice movie here.