What keeps Austria awake at night? (Hint: It's not caffeine!)
Your favorite energy drink company lives life on the very edge. Wingsuiting, race car driving, jet whooshing, wow! But I was just told there is one thing that is a little too hot for Red Bull to handle. One thing that causes sleepless nights. Much hand-wringing. Nervous sweat dripping down mock turtle necks.
What could this one thing be?
What could it possibly be?
Wingsuiting?
No.
Race car driving?
No.
Jet whooshing?
No.
Cold brew coffee?
No.
Taurine getting reclassified as a DEA Schedule 1 drug?
No (maybe).
BeachGrit?
YES!
Your third favorite surf-based website, allegedly, is too hot for Red Bull to handle! Too scandalous for it it touch! Too dangerous for it to even look at! Oh how this rumor, which was whispered from deep inside Austrian unterteilung no. 3, makes me proud!
Die hässliche und schlecht geformte Website BeachGrit verspottet die konservativen Werte, die Österreich und die ganze Welt lieb haben. Es verspottet guten Geschmack. Sie verspottet Turtlenecks und sollte so schnell wie möglich nach Polen geschickt werden.
We are a fierce and roaring lion! A garden where the most stringent frowns turn upside down! A movement born deep in the hearts of surfers yearning to be free.
“Make Surfing Fun Again!” They shout and by “fun” I assume they mean heaping portions of lascivious gossip, unfounded rumor, cheap journalistic stunts, tabloid headlines, poorly produced videos and a couple of gals who just want to put smiles on faces.
BeachGrit! It’s got what surfers crave! It’s got electrolytes!
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I bet none of those Austrian Red Bullers have an ounce of fat on ’em.
Fark you’d be surprised, all I’ve ever done in Salzburg has been eat pork knuckle by the kilo, washed down with litres of beer. For lunch. Don’t even get me started on the evening fare, I all but rolled home after me last mission.
Paradise!
damn a white Aryan Energy drink from Austria ,and an online magazine with 3 white journalists , no women , no coloreds , just Donald supporters!!
Rory hates Trump!
that’s not what Donald says , didn’t he grab rory’s wife by the pussy , which is/was part of his MO?
Beachgrit; mockers of turtlenecks since whenever the fuck we started.
If this isn’t on a t-shirt soon, an opportunity will have been wasted.
Maybe Beachgrit needs to bottle the sweat of commentators and sell in direct competition to redbull.
it be a seedy combo of drugs alcohol and electrolytes for sure
Because I know many of you are too damn lazy to use Google Translate:
“The ugly and badly shaped website BeachGrit ridicules the conservative values that Austria and the whole world love. It mocks good taste. She mocks Turtlenecks and should be sent to Poland as soon as possible.”
I want RedBull to make a taurine free/caffeine free/raw sugar version that tastes the same as the OG Red Bull so I can slug those things back like Coors Lights at the dang ol nascar dang ol.
Haven’t you been (mostly, vaguely) complimentary to these high fructose corn-syrup peddlers?
I love Red Bull! Unrequited!
Unrequited – apparently!
Tell me you’ve watched the video of Morgan Williamson surfing!? Donkey!