CEO Paul Speaker was right! Pro surfing becoming
bigger than God!
And it is time, once again, to take stock of
professional surfing’s place in our sporting landscape. How our
favorite pastime stacks up against other passions. Don’t you recall
when our proud leader WSL CEO Paul Speaker blasted onto the scene
and promised to smash the very popular National Football
League?
I do!
So I looked today through the various social medias (Facebook
and Instagram) and, if you dare believe, the World Surf League is
1/3 as big as the 74 billion dollar NFL making it worth, roughly,
25 billion dollars.
Wow!
What a wonderful investment for the Ziff family who put up 0
dollars and now have 25 billion jingle-jangling in their
pockets!
Even more surprising, though, I discovered that the WSL is
bigger than both Nascar AND Formula 1 almost combined! The World
Surf League boasts 5, 622, 834 Facebook followers and 2.2 million
Instagram followers. Nascar swings in with 4,656,531 on Facebook
and 634,000 on Instagram. Formula 1 has 2,897,961 and 1.9 million
on Instagram.
Children across the globe used to dream of zipping through
foreign cities, or around oval tracks, in souped up machines.
Now they dream in barrels and airs. Of Filipe Toledo and Glen
“Micro” Hall.
It might be a bit strange, maybe, that Formula 1 has 3000% more
views on Youtube than professional surfing and that 30000% more
people go watch Nascar live than professional surfing but… oh never
mind.
You’re almost there Herr CEO Paul Speaker! Almost the biggest
sport in the entire world!
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
This sixty-five-year-old stud had his JS ripped in two
and his foot, hand and arm mauled by a suspected Great White. First
day of summer. Oowee!
Just in: Great White Attack at
Forster!
By Derek Rielly
First day of summer. And here come the sharks!
A few hours ago, a surfer was hit by a shark at
Booti Booti National Park right there in the dreamy southern corner
of Seven Mile Beach, near Forster on Australia’s mid-north
coast.
Sixty-five-year-old Colin Rowland was hit from below and
dragged underwater by his legrope. His board was ripped in two but
the only injuries he suffered were deep cuts to his foot.
Relatively minor when you consider the commotion that must’ve gone
on in the battle between man and misunderstood beast.
Check out the photo here. What kind of shark’s going to hit you
from beneath and bite your sled in two? Ol Mr Whitey, yeah?
Newspaper reports suggest a 10-foot White.
Anyway, paramedics swooped, drove Col to the local bowling club
where a rescue chopper flew him to hospital, Col giving the thumbs
up to photographers. All good, mostly. Lucky escape etc.
What kinda fish is going to swipe a board in
two?
So where is this joint?
If you know your surf movies, and your photos, you’ll have
seen the waves around here a thousand times. Blue water. Dreamy,
sometimes empty, peaks. Three-and-a-half hours drive north of
Sydney. Look up the oeuvre of Newcastle’s Bosko to see a catalogue
of the joint.
But.
Sharky as all hell, always has been. I was surfing a little peak
at nearby Seal Rocks two weeks ago, closing on dusk, when a kid
started screaming to his little brother that a shark was next to
him. Next thing, a local paddles out and says an eight-footer swam
under his board while he was riding a wave. Of course I shrieked
and windmilled to shore, kissing the sand, panting etc.
I remember a wonderful story, years ago, written by Nick
Carroll, where he came face to face with a shark underwater
and totally fronted it. Stared at the fucker until it left him
alone.
(Nick, if you’re reading this, do fill in the blanks.)
And, the board pictured. The JS. Does it not strike you as
remarkable that a senior rides such a modern piece of equipment? It
ain’t even sorta fishy. Usually, the aged totter around on SUPS or
ancient longboards or some kinda deadly hybrid. This stud must rip
and therefore we wish a swift recovery.
(Note: JS Surfboards is going to replace the mutilated sled.
Col? You out there? Contact Curt Emerton at JS
Surfboards. He’ll sort you out. Also, Dayan Neve from
FCS is going to supply the leash, the grip, the fins.)
Meanwhile, Seven-Mile Beach and nearby Boomerang and Blueys have
been closed while authorities, well, they can’t do much. But
closing beaches does give the appearance of doing
something.
Anyone got any good Forster/Pacific Palms shark stories?
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
If the rumours are true, Kelly Slater will own
surfboards, fins and waves. A compelling package, yes?
Rumour: Kelly Slater to Buy FCS!
By Derek Rielly
Is Kelly Slater surfing's sharpest biz-man?
Money sure do make the world spin. Grab a
little of that cheese and hang on for the ride. Oowee!
You know the recent fortunes of Surf Hardware International (FCS
is it’s primary biz) ’cause we covered the sale and the resale in terrific detail.
SHI had been in a helluva state prior to sale. Between 2012 and
2014 it had lost over eight mill pre-tax, was being sued by one of
its co-founders and directors warned it was close to pulling down
the shutters.
So after paying out the final legal costs of the suit in 2015,
the owners, Macquarie and Crescent Capital, put the company up for
sale.
In stepped SurfStitch, paying $24.3 mill, almost
eight times SHI’s forecast earnings and more than double what the
Macquarie and Crescent Capital paid in 2003.
According to Australia’s Financial Review.
The sale price stunned the close-knit Avalon surfing
community. “Everyone was shocked they paid close to 10 times
[historic] earnings,” said one source.
Of course, maybe it wasn’t the sharpest deal for
SurfStitch. As the Fin Review reports:
Less than seven months after the deal SurfStitch’s new board
and management, led by veteran retailers Sam Weiss and Mike Sonand,
came to the same conclusion as bemused Avalon locals – the online
retailer had paid too much.
SurfStitch slashed the value of SHI by $6.5 million,
including $5.3 million of goodwill impairments, and put the company
up for sale, saying it was no longer core to the group’s
strategy.
Now, says the newspaper,
SurfStitch is expected to announce a deal as early as this
week, possibly with US surfboard maker Firewire.
And the price?
SurfStitch shareholders fear SHI could fetch as little as
$12 million, leading to further losses. SurfStitch declined to
comment.
It ain’t a secret that Kelly’s ain’t exactly loose with his cash
but buying a company at half the price of its sale last year?
What keeps Austria awake at night? (Hint: It's not
caffeine!)
Your favorite energy drink company lives life
on the very edge. Wingsuiting, race car driving, jet whooshing,
wow! But I was just told there is one thing that is a little too
hot for Red Bull to handle. One thing that causes sleepless nights.
Much hand-wringing. Nervous sweat dripping down mock turtle
necks.
What could this one thing be?
What could it possibly be?
Wingsuiting?
No.
Race car driving?
No.
Jet whooshing?
No.
Cold brew coffee?
No.
Taurine getting reclassified as a DEA Schedule 1 drug?
No (maybe).
BeachGrit?
YES!
Your third favorite surf-based website, allegedly, is too hot
for Red Bull to handle! Too scandalous for it it touch! Too
dangerous for it to even look at! Oh how this rumor, which was
whispered from deep inside Austrian unterteilung no. 3, makes
me proud!
Die hässliche und schlecht geformte Website BeachGrit
verspottet die konservativen Werte, die Österreich und die ganze
Welt lieb haben. Es verspottet guten Geschmack. Sie verspottet
Turtlenecks und sollte so schnell wie möglich nach Polen geschickt
werden.
We are a fierce and roaring lion! A garden where the most
stringent frowns turn upside down! A movement born deep in the
hearts of surfers yearning to be free.
“Make Surfing Fun Again!” They shout and by “fun” I assume they
mean heaping portions of lascivious gossip, unfounded rumor, cheap
journalistic stunts, tabloid headlines, poorly produced videos and
a couple of gals who just want to put smiles on faces.
BeachGrit! It’s got what surfers crave! It’s got
electrolytes!
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Cheyne Magnusson, handful of ass. | Photo:
MTV
How to: Love a Red-Haired Surfer!
By Derek Rielly
It ain't easy, I know!
You believe in god?Oh really.
Can you explain: cancer in children, archaeological evidence of
dinosaurs millions of years prior to the fabled garden of eden and
the Orient not being privy to the revelations of the
monotheistic religions until the nineteenth century therefore
condemning millions of Asians to a fiery hell?
And… red-heads. Tell me a benevolent god would
deliberately curse but one of his children with a ginger crown?
That said, gal reds are gorgeous.
“Red-headed women buck like goats,” said James Joyce, and this I
can vouch for.
But, men?
It’s interesting to note that there has only ever been two
professional surfers with red hair and even more interesting is the
fact both come from Maui. There is Dusty Payne (who, again,
interestingly, claims to have “auburn” hair) and Cheyne Magnusson,
the one-time star of the 2007 MTV reality show Maui
Fever.
I loved Maui
Fever (even if I got it confused with Living Lahaina). Cheyne, who is now thirty
three years old and married and living in Oceanside, was the star
of the short-lived series. It may be hard to believe, but, often,
Cheyne had to contend with myriad women fighting to have their
wombs scraped by his crooked sword.
Cursed by god, but succeeding beyond all measure, how could
anyone not admire Mr Magnusson. Plus, he ripped. Anyway, yesterday,
totally out of the wild, Cheyne sent me a very kind email. It
read:
Just wanna say first and foremost I’m a big fan of your
blog. Its my favorite one to look at because you guys tell it like
it is. Big fan. Anyways, thanks for pushing that Clay baja edit a
couple weeks ago I was super stoked you guys picked it up. I have
been trying to help him out and get another large scale film
project going with him and the brand JSLV. They are rad, trying to
make a push in surf but keep it core and take care of their
athletes. Anyways I got some residual clips while chaperoning Clay
around and they were cool enough to produce an edit for me. Just
passing it your way to see if you guys have any interest in putting
it out there. Keep fighting the good fight for the industry. Loving
all the articles. Also, you are spot on about the
inertia.
I replied that I loved Living Lahaina and said I would
run his little short.
Cheyne wrote back:
Oh my god. It was maui fever goddamit!!! HAHAHAHA. Now i
like you guys even more. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I wrote: I sat by my television for years waiting for a new
season!
Cheyne wrote: I layed in the fetal position for years hoping
people would forget about it! 😜😜😜
I asked: Whatever happened to that super cute gal you used to
nail on Living Lahaina?
Cheyne wrote: Well for one it was called maui fever.
The other one that was called living lahaina was a bunch of surf
instructors that weren’t from maui. I’d actually like to publicly
apologize to anyone who had the unpleasant experience of watching
it. The blondes name was Anna. She moved to Hollywood after the
show and there was a rumor flying around that she dated marilyn
manson. Not sure if thats true. She still lives in LA. Randomly, I
am actually engaged and having a kid with a girl that she met when
she moved here. Completely coincidental. Small fuckin world. I
actually hate that chapter of my life but hey, it made me a
stronger, smarter ginger on the back end.
Finally I asked Cheyne two things:
Has being red been an impediment in
your life and how can a red find love and sex?
Cheyne wrote:
Yes, it has impeded my ability to blend in anywhere in the
world except for the country of Ireland. Also, since being red
makes me a ginger, I have no soul, which means I shouldn’t be
trusted so that sucks. That being said, I quote the great eric
cartman who stated “better red than dead.”
That’s easy, first, impress them
with your shredding skills on the board. Next, dazzle them with
some tequila shots and a freaky dance move like the worm. Third,
bust out the burning bush, chicks dig red pubes. You heard it here
first, and probably last. But remember, I shouldn’t be trusted so
thats actually a load of crap and I just got extremely lucky and I
think my chick has terrible eyesight! Good luck out there fellow
rangas.
Don’t you love a story of a man triumphing against the odds?
Watch his nice movie here.