Science: Cori Schumacher is dull!

It's an undeniable truth! A proven fact!

Oh how I have come to love the internet or rather internet writing. I used to pen bits trying only to think down the road. Would it be relevant in three weeks? A month? Six months? Such a headache because we exist in surf.

Surf!

Now I only think, “Will this be funny for 15 minutes?”

Relevancy has been tossed out the window and good riddance!

Which brings us to Rory’s Wife.

Do you recall yesterday when she wrote a piece in defense of Rory’s podcast interview with surfer cum politician Cori Schumacher?

I don’t but let’s go over the details here!

Derek Rielly refused to post Rory’s recording because he found it:

soft, predictable, conformist, complainist, her life story dull and her stories anything but spectacular enough to warrant asking our readers to give it an hour of their lives. I know you dig her stuff, and that’s cool, but I couldn’t find one moment that might lift the interview from complaint-fest to… 

how to change the world. 

If that’s what she’s trying to. 

I felt like I was stuck at a party in Portland listening to the same old tired tropes, getting drunker and drunker trying to drown out this grim women burning my ears. 

But, above all, it has zero relevance to our readers. 

And did that ever rankle Rory’s Wife! She wrote, in response:

I could not disagree with Derek more. I found Cori to be intelligent, articulate, and downright inspiring. We all bitch and moan about shit that goes down in our respective communities. Cori not only successfully defeated a giant shoreline development, she one up’d herself and ran for local office.

She proceeded to berate him in the most passive aggressive way and continued to gloat today apparently buoyed by the comments underneath the story. Except comments are wonderful but science is science and would you like to know how much Rory’s Cori Schumacher interview was viewed/listened to?

Screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-4-56-16-pm

Yeah that’s 500+ next to 10k-ish for pedestrian stories about Gabi’s daddy. A lead balloon even by BeachGrit‘s lowly standards.

Which says nothing about Rory and Rory’s wife. Their attempted bedding of an unwilling participant has been our artistic high water mark.

It just proves Derek was right. And God bless him. And God bless Rory and Rory’s Wife for continuing the happy tradition of allowing me to squeeze tons of juice off one fruit!

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Lemmy
Lemmy
9 years ago

You’re asking the wrong guy. ask Chas who his father is

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
9 years ago

Science!

themostloc
themostloc
9 years ago

Can you post reliable download numbers for the podcast outside of click-throughs from this website? Those of us who listen podcasts usually listen through an app of some sort; I personally use Overcast. The podcast format doesn’t lend itself towards computer work, unless the work itself does not involve language or sound (graphic design is the only thing I can think of offhand). The majority of my own listening happens while driving, gardening, or working on some sort of building project.

In any case, download or click-through numbers purely from this site would not seem to be a reliable indicator of whether or not the podcast itself is a success without at least including those download stats.

Kook of the Day
Kook of the Day
9 years ago

So right Mr. Smith. R and R’s W are indeed the gift that keeps on giving. Speaking of gifts, I loved Rory piece about the Surfer Poll awards, complete with insider laughs, Burger’s pissing himself during his interview with Kiapo…..priceless. Derek’s ducets well spent sending Rory to the north shore. Perhaps he should have sent Rory’s wife.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

I can’t wait for his reports!

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
9 years ago

But they will get free advertising on here, alongside dark skies and banks journal

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
9 years ago

Chas I saw this clip yesterday and thought of you, if you were a longboarder would you surf like this guy, and do you approve of his panache? https://vimeo.com/194401035

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

So much moves! I love it!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Panache? He’s got a surfing version of Tourette’s syndrome.

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
9 years ago

Gabi’s daddy is a chair-throwing spectacle. Intense, bizarre, fiery, impossible to ignore. Instead of banning Gabi Daddy, I wish the WSL would not only strap a hot mic and GoPro to his forehead, but have a Gabi Daddy cam focused on him at all times. “Tour Notes; Gabi Daddy Edition”. “Sour Notes”? Toss him in the booth with Strider, Pottz, Ross, Turpel etc. Maybe play an occasional prank on him; Whoopee Cushion, bucket of water canted over cracked door, pass him an exploding Galaxy 7 (great product placement). He’s an enigma, a trainwreck; he’s ENTERTAINMENT! Cori is none of those things. In Surfing, Cori is the CSPAN and Gabi Daddy is the Springer. Of course myself and probably millions of others skip right past the CSPAN and stop on the Jerry Springer. The world would be a better place if this were the opposite but it’s not. Hence the shit show in politics and in surfing.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  Goodbye Horses

spot on. people suck, not the internet.

Lloyd Christmas
Lloyd Christmas
9 years ago

Did this get more views than the original piece? I definitely read this and didn’t listen to the podcast

Ben Collins
Ben Collins
9 years ago

People are clicking based on the headline. So it’s a poll about how good the headline was, rather than how good the podcast was.

Though I agree with Derek.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  Ben Collins

not really. the headline may or may not do a good job of describing the content, but as long as it isn’t a misleading description, there’s a fair chance that the lack of clicks does indicate a lack of interest in the content itself

Ben Collins
Ben Collins
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

No…

lawless
lawless
9 years ago

You sheep-fuckers made me get a Discus account just to wallow in the mud with you.
Of course it’s not gonna perform against the fake-news, TMZ bullshit click-bait headlines.

Real quality content takes effort/time to write/edit/refine, vs. the one and done, off the cuff Bukowski-esque stream-of-consciousness that seems to flow so freely here.

At least you guys know your strengths and play to them. A piece on combating misogyny in surfing is gonna fall flat with an audience trained on the pavlovian conditioning of click-bait hit pieces and a comment section where the true entertainment is the thought put into the fake names.

Don’t mistake my negative discourse for a dislike of your site though. I keep coming back knowing I will be entertained…

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  lawless

who wants quality content? clicks don’t lie.

Born Again Curren
Born Again Curren
9 years ago
Reply to  lawless

Look at this fucking guy here, with brain and everything.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

he used the term “sheep-fuckers” lol.

ox-head
ox-head
9 years ago

ahhhh shit it’s the gotdamn night of the long knives in this bitch. i’m with the rory clan on this internecine shit – and what the numbers look like compared to his other podcasts?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

The internet!

wally
wally
9 years ago

False comparison. You need to compare the Cori stats with the figures for Rory’s previous podcasts.

Bob Jones
Bob Jones
9 years ago
Reply to  wally

Exactly. Who the fuck listens to any podcast nowadays. I cant even stay on a video for more than 20 seconds before flicking to another page.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
9 years ago
Reply to  Bob Jones

Your missing out. Surf Splendor/Down the Line is great, I only listened to one of Rory’s podcasts and he made a really out of line comment about “handicapped babies” so I won’t be listening again!

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
9 years ago

Haha, you are a saint, my friend!

Bob Jones
Bob Jones
9 years ago

Interesting how you say that, BG commenters tend to contrive a anti PC viewpoint

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
9 years ago
Reply to  Bob Jones

Some things are beyond the Pale, even for BG

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
9 years ago
Reply to  wally

Here y’go: 10k is Wassel, 9k is Brandon Campbell aka Laserwolf. https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

wally
wally
9 years ago

Thanks. How many for Anastasia Ashley?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
9 years ago
Reply to  wally

Two-and-a-half thousand plays compared to five hundred…

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

sharks pay…….

Could that be rule number one for a surf journalist?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Don’t forget Gabi’s daddy.

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Gabi’s Daddy got spanked by a story about another story……about sharks.

I’d bet a story about a story about another story ..about sharks would still get the clicks.

SharkGrit?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

You in?

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

up to my nuts.

throwing disqus
throwing disqus
9 years ago

Its not the article thats the problem, but if i were to metaphor this scenario above, its more like trying to put a Times article in a celebrity gossip magazine…

Lemmy
Lemmy
9 years ago

TMZ of surfing® but with ellen degeneres’s gay son as the host

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

Is that me? Please say it’s me.

Lemmy
Lemmy
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

it’s you!

Beatrice C. Bogg
Beatrice C. Bogg
9 years ago

i don’t think the low numbers reflect how interesting the podcast is. I think a lot of people don’t want to take the time to listen to ANY podcast, so they’re going to click on other stories. but it’s good to have the option for a part of you audience who might really want to exercise their mind a bit. I thought it was a really unique interview==she was refreshingly honest and her responses seemed totally not canned. She also had some opinions that were thought provoking.I also thought the range of topics was great.

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

what do you know? you just think’d and thought’d.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

Oh Beatrice… I love Cori! The interview, though, from a click -based perspective, was terrible.

Lizzie Me
Lizzie Me
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

You just need to transcribe it, edit it and turn it into a nice little (300w-ish) written piece. Voila! Click-bait heaven!

Limbless Jack
Limbless Jack
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Is this based on who clicked on the play podcast or clicking on the article? either way I thought it was your best podcast that I have heard (minus that intro)…I still might podcast on your podcast though

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago

Are those unique visits? If not, I’m afraid your numbers are probably less than half those 10k(ish), as I think I’m responsible for at least 6k views a day…

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

Unique! Just as you are!

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Herzlichen Dank!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

And by “lead balloon” I was referring to the gabi daddy story. That one was totally gag!

Kenneth Noisewater
Kenneth Noisewater
9 years ago

Are these numbers ran through the WSL filter?


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