Rumors of Surfing magazine's demise swirl but are they taking everyone down as they go? Brilliant!
I will always have the softest spot in my crusty heart for Surfing magazine. The powers allowed my to ply my trade there for a few years. Expectations for my output were kept low. I stumbled trying to clear them. Nobody got angry. Just smiles (I think). And so it saddens me to hear the swirling rumors of its imminent demise.
But look at them go out! Today they brought back the smartest man they ever employed to stick an intelligent nail in the sponsored surfer’s coffin.
Ooooooeeeeeeeeeee!
I read the title SHOULD SURF BRANDS RENT PROFESSIONAL SURFERS and must admit that I thought it might be an Inertia piece or some satirical bit of nonsense. Then I read the first few paragraphs:
Why do surfers get sponsored, anyway? In theory it’s because they project a cool lifestyle punctuated by ripping in places you’d rather be. Brands pay to rent the cool. We buy a T-shirt and the cycle starts over.
So now we’re told the cycle is rusting — why? When in the history of mankind has it been easier to “project a cool lifestyle” than today? The answer is: not ever. Food bloggers do it. Tweens do it. Your phone does it for you out of the box. A pile of billion-dollar apps exists just to make all our self-promotion turnkey.
For surfers, whose lifestyle actually is cool, even without cropping and a filter, this stuff should be child’s play. Now should be their golden age of super-distributed flaunting. So what’s the problem?
Maybe it is the economy. Maybe it’s weak sales. But maybe it’s a lack of ingenuity too. Maybe we just need some new models for sponsorship — new ways to play the game. It’s 2016. Cats on YouTube have talent agents. There must be ways to get Parker Coffin paid.
How? Let’s just think a minute.
What? So smart! So well written! I had to sprint to the end of the article to see it was written by the elusive Stuart Cornuelle. Rumor has it that he executive edited Surfing during the magazine’s salad years before retreating to a Zen monastery in rural Japan.
Anyhow, the piece goes on to discuss various models of sponsorship that make more business sense and if brand managers/executives read it they will certainly scratch their stubbly chins and say, “Hmmmmmmmm….” right before drying Joel Parkinson’s money completely up.
Do I think Joel Parkinson deserves his money? No!
Am I thrilled that he gets it? Yes!
Unwarranted riches are what make surfing fun! Wheelbarrowing money into a talented child’s house with no expectation of return makes surfing fun! And if the surf industry ever got practical, got smart, then nothing would ever be fun again!
But I completely tip my cap to Stu and Surfing‘s proposals which include forcing pros to achieve benchmarks in order to get paid, a pay-as-you-go model amongst others that would definitely gut every pro surfer’s paycheck save…. John John Florence. And… Gab Medina (as long as Brazilian men continue to shave their armpits) (click here to read all the proposals!)
I tip my cap because son of a bitch it is well-written in a sea of blah! Also, the scorched earth policy is the most entertaining brand of warfare. Watch them take each surfer then each brand down as they circle the drain! Entertainment par excellence! And at the end isn’t that the only thing that really matters?
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Did I see Joel Tudor in the parking lot with a Surfing Voodoo Mag , with 6″ long needles ???
indeed really well-written. don’t know what the real business answer would be, but the reason so many pro surfers get any money at all is because the guys who run/work at the brands don’t dream of becoming tom ford, they dream of becoming kelly. so whatever they can do to get closer to that fantasy feels worth it. fuck ROI. just get me on that trip to tahiti.
There’s always a good argument for bankrolling a truly iconic surfer – Slater, JJF, Dane, etc – but I will never understand how they justify even giving free wax to the middling pro at Trestles, The Lane, wherever. Makes zero economic sense.
Why do so many people need to get paid to surf? Seems like the fundamental question given the economic ramifications of sponsoring everyone with a pulse (or ass).
Agents
We can only hope.
Wait a second… has anybody considered another reason why “surfing” magazine is going down???? Here’s a guess: “Pro surfing and its print coverage suck!!!!l “
I got bored with “Surfing” magazine so I stopped renewing my subscription and they kept sending it to me for a couple of years. It got bad when every month they were doing a story to some island that you wouldn’t want to go. Chas woke it up a bit but a format makeover is needed. It seems as though they have such a narrow focus on the socal surfer that it lost touch with me. They should have great long form writing like Surfers Journal, a less formal style like TransWorld or Beachgrit (but without trying so hard) and some cultural stuff like a men’s magazine or music magazine.
I felt like all of Surfers articles were about entitled brats overindulging and buying stupid new brands or traveling to all kinds of places that I will never go.
so true. They did this to me as well, just to keep circulation numbers inflated I’m sure.
when was the last time you read a copy of Surfer?
One word. Internet.
You get instant gratification on contests, world title chases and gossip. Also, why wait for a whole month to see a still of JJF’s alley oop when you can see a 60 second video clip of the wave at full speed, slow mo’d and with JJF’s own commentary, on Instagram the same day it happened?
That article would certainly be lapped up by the surfing brands. They might send it out to their sponsored surfers under the category of ‘interesting reading’. Surfing mag might get some extra ads as a thank you.
Where DID Stuart go? Chas should investigate!
Zen monastery / Portland Oregon! I already did!
Stuart is the bee’s knees!
The Leonard Cohen route! Fantastic.
In Finland they are experimenting with basic income for all. No questions asked.
I’m pretty sure they stole the idea from Hurley.
hahahahah….
Stolen from Hurley, like all the world’s greatest ideas.
“There’s always patronage, where a wealthy benefactor pays to keep — an
artist, usually, but in this case a pro surfer — from starving.”
Yeah, ya know, like Dirk Ziff and the WSL.
You’d think at some point companies would attempt to analyze ROI with athletes. From Steph Curry to Steph Gilmore, does anyone know what value they bring?
I’m sure there’s some sort of algorithm that shows a click path from a social media post from a pro to some schmuck buying a pair of Steph’s signature shoes online.
surf business mag somewhere publishes a list of who gets the most editorial and advertising coverage…guessing that would be a vague but useful metric
yeah, you get a dollar per year for each Instagram follower. for instance, Parker Coffin is worth $55,300 a year right now. Gabs is getting $5mil
Oh I’m sure Nike knows EXACTLY how much each athlete generates. Quiksilver? Prob not so much.
the last graph in that thing made me snort espresso so that’s pretty good
Off topic, but I can’t help putting in a comma before your surname and making it sound like a 30’s gangster movie – James Cagney to Edward G.Robinson snarling something like, “Say, who’s that broad? That dame sure is one hot potato!” who replies, “yeah, that Doll’s the fastest broad on the Southside, she’s Jen, see”.
ha! yeah, there’s a lot of possibilities with see 😉
since there are a few history majors in the room, please enjoy the footnote humor of being cited as jen see. see jen see, see also see… good times!
Also, surfing numbers are growing on the beginner end. If one were smart, they’d tailor their surf content to people eager to buy surfy trinkets and devour How-tos. So, basically, the Inertia, if it didn’t make you want to drill your eyeballs through the back of your skull with an ice pick.
Thing is, I’d rather watch cat videos on YouTube than like 99% of the pro surfer videos out there.
I always seem to follow the click bait trail to Asian women breastfeeding or the Red Neck Yact Club.
Christ! Don’t go there. Benchmarks for professional athlete salaries? The whole thing will collapse.
Totally! But don’t you want Surfing’s death rattle to be awesomely spastic? I love it!
Yes. Yes I do. I wrote stories for the mag through its mega glory years, then edited it during its third glory period, I should be soggy with nostalgia and regret! But fuck it!
I remember reading your stuff when I came in and thinking, “Son of a bitch. Why did he have to raise the bar so damned high?” I proceeded to lower it to the ground. Can we combo on a high/low review of Surfing?
What, like the mag or the (cough-cough) Culture?
Either?
Fuck yeah let’s do it.
Been meaning to hit you up about an idea for a surf film called Chapter 11 & 1/2 Inches… A tale of a revered, well-paid surf writer who wants to thank the company he used to work for, but there’s no one left at the office anymore except Janice from accounting.
Let me guess, a sordid sexual encounter ensues…witnessed by former office boy who’s been perving on Janice for years…blackmail…murder…disgrace…writer jailed, pregnant Janice thrown on to the streets…child grows up in the shadows, becomes top columnist for the New York Post.
No. No. No. Sorry for the confusing title. The writer is 11 and 1/2 inches tall. Get yer mind out of the gutter Nick.
Jeez it didn’t take much did it. I’ve really got to learn to delay gratification.
Everybody hates Janice from accounting
Let it all burn to the ground. I’ll even supply the matches ….
and?
and Western civilisation will follow suit!!