The world's most handsome goofy foot admits to a deeply hidden secret!
Some of my favorite days of the month are when I bump into Rob Machado at the market. Both of us shopping. Him growing more and more regal with age. Me with two bottles of vodka in my cart and packages of nitrate-free salami.
I bumped into him last evening at the market. Rob’s smile, if you have never seen it up close, is like the Buddha’s. Serene. Peaceful. Content. I asked him, “Do you think it is better to be dumb and know that you are dumb or to be dumb and not know it?”
The conversation turned, slightly, toward having enough general sense to be able to survive. Rob said, “I don’t even know how to swim but if you drop me at second reef Pipe I’m sure I’ll figure out how to get to the beach.”
“Really?” I responded “You really don’t know how to swim?”
“I mean kind of…” he said, “…but not well at all.”
And how’s that. Rob Machado can’t swim well. He is a Pipeline Master.
My take away? It is 2017 and we can be whatever we want to be. Spread those wings and soar!
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it’s tough for us skinny guys. we sink like rocks. i wasn’t confident in my swimming either until i figured out that i could arch my neck super far out of the water like a crowing rooster on crack to get a continual breath
Bull shit. In the surf flick shelter he body surfs. You can’t body surf if you can’t swim. I’m calling BS on that click bait sir chaso.
He’s not a swimmer, He’s a Drifter.
I wish I could get back the time I used watching that film.
I like Rob’s surfing very much and the few times I’ve met him he’s been a champ. But to suggest he’s aging well is a stretch.
But he’s such a “waterman” he hates golf courses that require shoes..he likes his feet bare, bro, like,so he can feel rootsy and live Aloha….pffft. The 6star drifting fraud…
Handsome ? maybe for Galom’s half cousin from Middle Earth….every time I see him in the line up, I ask him about his “precious”
Machado’s ancestors owned most of the South Bay and PV peninsula…but he’s still the best surfer in middle earth..
Is that why they call him “The Drifter”? (Shittiest surf movie ever btw)
where the drifters lacks the know-how to swim, he makes up for it in swindle. he’s still getting by nike to surf or hang in a parking lot.
Yes. Rob Machado makes everything better. Thank you Chas.
I’m sorry but you must be 5’11” at a MINIMUM to be handsome.
Isn’t being told you can be anything you want to be and then finding out when your 20 you are actually dumber than what mummy said the reason all the milenials are necking themselves?
i’m not sure the reason but they should definitely continue because things are not about to improve. i think their parents parents probably said the same thing, it just didn’t turn out to be bullshit every time.
Being dumb and knowing you’re dumb already makes you more intelligent than a large percentage of Americans. The Dunning-Kruger effect gave us Trump.
Pretty sure it was Oprah Winfrey, who gave the world Trump
Are you implying Oprah’s ardent promotion of capitalism and consumerism as a cure-all and known hucksters (Oz, Phil, Chopra) paved the way for Trump?
Superior reference and observation Mr. PO.
You don’t need to be able to swim when you can part the waters and walk on the surface.
Good thing Rob’s so mellow and didn’t go all Rudboy on your ass for suggesting he’s “dumb”
Oh I had already staked out the ground for being dumb and knowing it….
Due diligence! Smart man.
How can you have nitrate-free salami, that’s ridiculous.
Nitrate free salami is the cornerstone of Southern California charcuterie. Suppose you’ve never heard of aerosol-free cheese spray either?
It’s awful being stuck out here in the colonies.
I am from South Carolina and I can not even fathom “charcuterie”. I had to look it up. If I don’t get my meat (aka pork) from Costco or Piggly Wiggly I get it from the Meat Locker which has actual animal pens in the back where they slaughter and whole pigs hanging from hooks on a track. I hate being the guy that calls all your shit gay because I don’t think being gay is a bad thing, I voted Green Party and buy cage free eggs but what happened to being a man?
Ok hold on here though….nitrates are weird additives. I’m all for cutting a hunk of salami straight from a pig’s buttocks. I just don’t want anything weird to happen to it ‘tween that and my mouth.
In Oz salami is not pork – if it were cut from back of a pig it would be ham or bacon!!! Salami is a cured sausage with maybe pork in it but plenty other shit so forget your nitrates!!!
More nitrates in a stick of celery than in a stick of properly cured salami. Nitrates are your friend but can also possibly heighten your risk of cancer of the arsehole
you want to really flip your lid? they call bartenders “mixologists” out here. fucking poofters.
No, fru-fru bartenders call THEMSELVES mixologists to make their G.E.D sound less demeaning.
Eating aged “charcuterie” meats and cheese is medieval. They were pretty manly back then.
Yes THEY were.
You think because we enjoy a little charcuterie that means we can’t start some shit?
Also. Today I learned South Carolina macaroni boys get it from the Meat Locker.
Hold on now, don’t say something that would hurt some feelings. I know that you sausage eaters are a bunch of badasses.
I could knock down a supremes combo from Bojangles after a few hours of 85 degree mud barrels at Folly………sounds like paradise
Don’t be stuck in 2016 Nick. We can be ANYTHING we want to be!
swear to god i’m eating some right now
Actually, Chas is paying for the idea only. There’s no such thing as nitrate free salami (or bacon etc.).
No, it’s not actually
Not the first. This guy did it better: https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
A-grade reference
You mean this guy doesn’t know how to swim??? What’s his name?