Sabre Norris: Gaining Fame and Fortune!

Beyoncé who?

Oh to be twelve and holding the world in your palms. Sabre Norris is on the fast track to stardom and that is a wonderful thing. Too long has surfing been defined by Laird Hamilton in the mainstream media.

Did you know that Sabre’s initial bout with Ellen went huge, amassing upwards of thirty-million views? I’m not sure where her count resided before Ellen, but Sabre now boasts 102K Instagram followers, a number that could be easily monetized if managed correctly.

But while we love watching her fame and fortune grow, we shudder at the thought of Sabre becoming an organic-non-GMO gluten-free-green-tea peddler. Because she’s bigger than that. Better than that. In a perfect world we’d watch her stardom transcend the petty millennial blogosphere, and expand outwards to create true global resonance. I’ve never met Sabre, but she seems like a genuinely great human. Someone who could make the world a better place.

I guess Ellen felt the same, as she invited Sabre back for another episode and presented her with the opportunity to serve as a red carpet correspondent at Nickelodeon’s Teen Choice Awards. Juvenile as that may sound, it’s yet another opportunity for Sabre to showcase herself to the non-surfing masses. She could be on track to real celebrity — perhaps even becoming Australia’s sweetheart. Is that a thing?

How this exposure will affect her surfing (and skating), I do not know. At such an important stage in her developmental years, one might think Sabre should focus on the athletics and pursue extracurriculars later. Certainly you wouldn’t want to jeopardize her immense abilities, but at the same time it’d be hard to pass up all these media opportunities. The Norris parents have a lot to think about, especially with little brother Biggy headed in the same direction.

One thing I think we can all agree on: anytime Sabre feels impassioned to share her voice in a more literary sense, she’s highly encouraged to stand on our little soapbox and shout to the heavens. Let’s just hope she doesn’t forget about us little guys!

Sabre x Ellen pt. 2:

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Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

Terminator Skynet Armegeddon

Revolution

Then Happy Days!!

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

Good points brah. But reconsider and think outside the box. Capitalism ain’t the end of history. Just the best dumbest idea to date, that’s all.

Incompatible with true democracy too

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

Enjoy capitalism!

Ando's back knee
Ando's back knee
9 years ago

I don’t know what I was more amazed by: the fact she landed a 540 or that she actually doesn’t have aspergers.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

i like you, ray. you are like a little ray of sunshine. you are candy.

shootsthen
shootsthen
9 years ago

She’s definitely a future world-wide leader and Ellen, who champions women’s rights, will make sure Sabre has her chance to make positive, organic, non-GMO, pro-organic/artificial reefs, green energy, no war impacts.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago
Reply to  shootsthen

that would be great.

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago
Reply to  shootsthen

Hey let’s give the chicks a go at running the world for a while. We males have a pretty patchy record over the last 10,000 years of civilisation. As long as the chicks don’t legislate what I can do with my (rather impressive) reproductive organ, or contraception, or if my girl wants to get an abortion or whatnot

muff
muff
9 years ago

Wadduppp joiny

Blunted Sultan
Blunted Sultan
9 years ago

Sabre….heavily coached on what to say. Bet her dad write most of her content. Full on stage parent situation going on. When the cameras are around she fucking cranks it up!!!

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Such a shame- capitalist exploitation will ruin this naive, sincere little girl. At least we got to see her before it happens.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
9 years ago

I’m confident that Sabre is a lovely little kid but the PR training thing is way too much (either that or she actually is a medication deficient attention seeking bogan). It baffles me that millions of people sit down to watch Strider’s ugly sister wiggle her sloppy cellulite covered arse while randomly giving away home security packages or blood diamonds under her menopausal guests chairs. It’s one of the reasons I’ve never felt totally comfortable in the United States. The people who are popular seem blatantly fucked in the head but no one is pulling them up. Don’t mind me. I’ve been doing acid in the mountains all weekend and have just come home to a 10 day old baby girl. I’ve clearly thought too much this week.

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

Eh?

Oh ok, right, acid

Chill buddy, chill

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Newborn baby and still skipping out and tripping on LSD? Your kid is fucked.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago

Wig’s your perspective and quotes are quite on point at times. Start thinking moderation with the extra curricular you are now a role model. I don’t know to many children of serious partakers who aren’t little excessive themselves.. Congrats!

muff
muff
9 years ago

Almost all american celebrities are straight up sociopaths. Way worse than a psychopath.


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