Would you risk life and limb to ride a quality A-frame?
“Fuck the taxi” reads Stradbroke Island’s most cherished drainpipe.
This is the local surfers’ response to overcrowding at the Gold Coast’s premier beachie, South Strad, a wave that breaks on the wrong side of a three-hundred meter channel. In order to surf the spot, riders are forced to cross the supposedly shark-infested (Derek don’t believe it) inlet by way of paddling or, in the case of bein’ a lil’ bitch-ass, paying some guy five bucks for a taxi across the pond.
This taxi debate has been simmering since the mid-nineties, but a recent influx of swell and crowds sent Straddie “locals” into a boiling rage, leading to a series of offensive slurs graffitied upon the Straddie sand-spitter. They read:
Taxi = dog act
Fuck off taxi cunt!
Respect is earned not given
Paddle or die
Fuck off Brazilian snakes!
…Aussies are always good for a little profanity and subtle racism.
During my four month stint on the Gold Coast, I managed to survive the paddle on a handful of occasions. I never took the boat, partly because Aussie money is fucked (what kind of lunatics walk around with coins in their pockets?) but mostly because my local friends were ascribed to this hardcore mentality. To paddle across the channel proves your devotion and courage, while taxigoers might as well stitch a big, pink ‘P’ right over their Billabong wetsuit logo.
Unless of course you’re a Mad Huey or one of the other twenty locals who docks a boat/ski just offshore. That shit is encouraged. It’s those damn immigrants with their economical, more environmental friendly ride-shares who are stealing all the stoke.
But while I disagree with the locals’ logic, I do understand their contempt. The Goldy is perhaps the most crowded surf zone in the world, and Straddie was one of their last hidden gems. Since its creation in 1986, the Southport Seaway has acted as a final line of defense — a moat, really — for this once-uncrowded break.
The taxi negates the Seaway’s effects by providing a shark-free, current-defying (the rip gets damn fierce) access point to an extremely desirable locale, perhaps inflating its daily visitor-count by a significant amount. The Gold Coast Bulletin states that up to four-hundred surfers hit Straddie on a weekend with good waves. The number of those who utilize the taxi is unreported, but from personal experience I’d wager it’s close to 25%, maybe worse in the summer.
If you’re wondering what all the fuss is about, here’s an aged clip of Strad doing its thing.
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Taxi is ok, Brazos the real problem.
Time to look at travel bans for that mob.
The ferry isn’t the problem at straddie, it’s the hyena brazillians
It’s funny how no one thinks twice about sharks surfing (most likely boogie boarding really) at the Spit but people shit themselves about paddling over to Straddie.
So “locals” are the ones living in Southport and further north? And using your own jet ski or tinnie is not deemed being a p*ssy but a tough local? Hmmm.
Profanity Professor Mikey? Fuck yeah, ya fucking fucked up wombat
And there’s nothing subtle about our racism
I’d rather paddle that than paddle over to south wall Ballina. I was too much of a pussy to do that 15 years ago, let alone now.
rumors promulgated by South Wall taxi service. didn’t pay them either when i was in the area.
There were rumors forever about sharks following the trawlers back in there. My cousins used to paddle it and said it always felt sketchy.
No idea whether there are sharks there or not, but there’s literally nothing dumber than courting death simply to prove to your bros that you’re “tough.”
com’on, dont tell you havent done something extremely stupid to prove you manhood and it was a success…greatest feeling behind getting tubed
“nothing dumber” “extremely stupid” – I’d say we agree.
I wonder how much the guy running the taxi is making on an average week. All cash, no tax….
Rumour has it he rarely turns a profit, and usually runs at a loss. That is why the original taxi driver sold the business. But it’s a good way to pass the time as you wait for your next centrelink cheque to arrive.
Honest question: How would he run at a loss? Its a quick trip, so fuel isn’t going to be a huge cost. Just regular boat maintenance and fuel and… am I forgetting something, assuming he doesn’t report his income? What would he be spending money on?
He was doing alright, still worked another job though. Good bloke, thick-skinned. Amazing how quickly the “fuck off ferry cunt” crew would change their tune when they snapped a craft and he offered them a lift home… Swim the seaway? No thanks.
Has something changed in the last decade to make this newsworthy again? Next Mikey’ll be telling us they’ve started pumping sand out of the Tweed River and there’s a chance of really long waves, what am I missing here?
What is this big , pink “P” you speak of?
you’ll learn when you’re a little older, Dronguito
apparently you don’t want to disclose the “P” word.
any reader suggestions out there?
P for pink pussy in my books
The Nazi concentration camp pink triangle designated a homosexual prisoner. A bit extreme, perhaps.
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Didn’t know about this! Was actually a Scarlet Letter reference
That makes sense…Didn’t think you were that harsh. I’ve not read ‘Scarlet Letter’, so that’s next on my list. Cheers!
the nazi “P” is a bit extereme , but so far that gives us Pussy , Poo-valve and Poofta for our potential big,pink “P”.
scarlet letter is out , that was an “A”.
so Mick is either a sexist or a homophobe.
Not bad considering he called out Australians for being racist.