Hayden x Wang
Hayden x Wang

Just in: We are fucking back!

Vogue magazine declares that surfing is at its apotheosis!

Oh oh OH how we’ve been wandering the desert for the last, like, fifteen years. “Surf is dead!” they say before shutting down our Pac Suns and our Tilly’s and our Depactuses and our ummm Surfing magazines. “The kids don’t want the surf.” they say while tears bubble in our eyes, waiting to pour down our cheeks. “The kids want lifestyle and Bubble Guppies.”

Well you know what? Fuck they! Because today TODAY the bible of fashion said that we WE are cool once again!

Yes, Vogue magazine, fronted by Anna Wintour and never ever to get folded like that lily-livered Surfer just published a story that recognizes our second coming. And let us read:

That surfing has reached its pop culture apotheosis is no secret. Alexander Wang based his entire spring collection off romanticizing the look and feel of sun-bleached surfers; February’s most Instagrammed museum show, “Raymond Pettibon: A Pen of All Work” at the New Museum, featured small, willowy figures bracing themselves in downward diagonals across the face of canvas-sized waves, and this season’s premiere of Girls pivoted around Hannah’s flirtation with the sport, when her editor sends her on assignment to a surf camp in Montauk. Which is to say: Surfing is everywhere and everyone is doing it.

The sport’s sudden surge in popularity means that even far-flung, warm destinations like Sri Lanka, Bali, and the Maldives are becoming nearly shoulder-to-shoulder in daily lineups, pushing the most devoted athletes into inhospitable, chilly territory to avoid bumping their boards against clumsy newcomers. What’s more: Winter is storm season, stirring up activity in the ocean resulting in the most consistent and biggest waves. Serious surfers are after an endless winter, and thanks to leaps and bounds in wet-suit technology—which provides the kind of comfort and mobility in frigid temperatures that was unfathomable even five years ago—they can chase it into colder waters than ever.

And FUCK YOU SURFER!

Wait. What was I writing about? Did Surfer have anything to do with it?

Fuck they!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
35 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
j7 Forall
j7 Forall
9 years ago

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Just ran out and got my first Alexander Wang sweatshirt – so cool – feeling surfy!

Building The Revolution
Building The Revolution
9 years ago

I love the Bubble Guppies.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

They didn’t even mention the wave pool. Dickheads.

pubes
pubes
9 years ago

Hayden x Wang – ha

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
9 years ago
Reply to  pubes

Chicks with dicks are his target customers these days

small fins
small fins
9 years ago

..

Justin Illusion
Justin Illusion
9 years ago

More likely a Ziff inspired article who’s family were/are in the publishing world

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

Surfing is the new black Former Luxury29.99

Slurpline
Slurpline
9 years ago

Is she wearing a leggie on her arm.. that isn’t even attached to the board??

Superworm
Superworm
9 years ago
Reply to  Slurpline

Probably charging her exploding Samsung watch

Lizzie Me
Lizzie Me
9 years ago
Reply to  Slurpline

I think it’s attached at both her elbow and her wrist? I’ll go up to Noosa tomorrow and see if this is how the hipsters are wearing them now…

Billy Joe
Billy Joe
9 years ago

This will only result in more Kooks buying SUP gear at Costco.

Tom
Tom
9 years ago

Maybe Vogue is new naming right sponsor of WSL??. Combining surfing and fashion would be cutting edge!!

DorasChestRug
DorasChestRug
9 years ago

This sounds like a ploy to photograph a male model posing in a chinchilla coat near a surfboard, like a smooth-faced world’s most interesting man.

Desktop Drudgery
Desktop Drudgery
9 years ago

Has anyone stopped to ask why the author was reading Vogue in the first place? Does he have a subscription? The only excuse is a waiting room situation, possibly before getting an unknown lesion seen to.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

The real question is why aren’t you reading Vogue?

Desktop Drudgery
Desktop Drudgery
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Fashion is for young people. Black is new white, white is new black, short hair long hair shaved hair, punk, post punk round it goes. Tiresome tedious pretentious. Might start wearing a leggie on my wrist though to spice things up in my old age.

theflyingpeanut
theflyingpeanut
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Ah, Chas, you will never convince them to leave their Subarus and Nixons behind for Porsche and Omega…but fight on.

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

i’m with her!
must say i preferred it back in the days before celebrities got the covers. focus on the clothes!

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
9 years ago

i can honestly say i have no idea what this article even means. i have no fucking idea what is going on anymore

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

feel ya, blah. it is all one giant clusterfuck. head for a remote corner and hide. i am. bye.

funky Gibbon
funky Gibbon
9 years ago

Time to get the beachgrit nut hugging shorts sent in Chas. This could be your big chance to get the fashion elite to endorse them.

SharkAttack
SharkAttack
9 years ago

Notice how surf journalists get BITCHY when any other publication publishes anything on surfing?
BitchGrit rebrand completed.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  SharkAttack

Are you a non-native speaker of English?

SharkAttack
SharkAttack
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

No, was that meant to be a bitchslap?

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Peruse his comment history. The only words he seems to have mastered are “esteemed surf journalist” “defend Hawaii T’s” and an array of “bitch” derivatives.

SharkAttack
SharkAttack
9 years ago

I should do a three part series!?

NUG
NUG
9 years ago

Can I get a Bitchgrit t-shirt instead of one of those Kareem Abdul Aloha ones?

SharkAttack
SharkAttack
9 years ago
Reply to  NUG

It’s BitchGrit you f&**w&!. Branding style is important, especially if you a surf journo.

SharkAttack
SharkAttack
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Notice how the bitches pair up and are bitch slapping me. ouch. Where is BitchGrit the T-Shirt????

Real Miki Dora
Real Miki Dora
9 years ago
Reply to  SharkAttack

Are you brazilian mate?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
9 years ago
Reply to  SharkAttack

Lets make it a trio… why do we have to do all the work?
You make the t-shirt while the the lads create you, free {but bitchy} content.

balloonknot bill
balloonknot bill
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

‘Fuck they’

Huckleberry
Huckleberry
9 years ago

.. ‘I can tell you’re lame by the way you where your shorts’

thahorseofcourse
thahorseofcourse
9 years ago

Da fuck is a bubble guppy?


35
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x