Just in: Surf Media Is Guilty!

Almost an apology...

Yesterday I had a wonderful meeting with Sharp Eye’s Marcio Zouvi in which we discussed surfing’s past, present and future. You’ll be able to read that whole interview shortly, but for today I’d like to touch on one of Marcio’s biggest gripes.

“The Internet has really done a disservice to the world of surfboard design,” Marcio told me.

“Nowadays, nobody really knows who’s for real and who’s not. You’ll see guys with not a lot of talent, but who have a lot of ‘techniques’ online, taking off. So they become the next ‘guru’ even though they don’t know what they’re doing. You know, the boards aren’t really impressive. ”

Marcio continued, “This is where you guys, Surfline, and Surfer really need to put out the correct information. For a long time I’ve seen a lot of information and coverage being bought. So people are getting this misinformation — stuff that’s not real. And that’s sad.”

And damn it, he’s right! Surf media is majorly responsible for the lies that consume us all. I’ve never ridden a Channel Islands, Chilli, Sharp Eye, Slater Designs, or many other of the major board brands, yet I ponder incessantly about how hard I’d be shredding on all of them. This can only be due to all the positive coverage they get, and to Marcio’s point, a vast majority of that adulation is purchased.

This is, of course, the crux of what we do. Surf media exists only with the help of advertorial funding, and most of that funding comes from surf-endemic brands. In an effort to maintain our financial bond with said brands, the media caresses them with flattery, product placement and the odd reach-around.

That’s why Surfing did a wetsuit review with zero negative feedback. That’s why Stab no longer rates their In The Dark boards numerically.

Without ass-kissing and falsified endorsement, surf media can’t exist. With ass-kissing and falsified endorsement, surf media hurts certain businesses and consumers. It’s a double-edged sword and somebody’s gotta fall on it.

So unless you guys decide to stop clicking on BeachGrit, Surfline, Stab, and The Inertia, the media will continue to deceive until we are old and bald and still very poor.

We fall on the sword together like a shish kabob of surf misery!

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Caveira é Baitola
Caveira é Baitola
9 years ago

Another interesting point is that, the traditional surfboard buider marketing strategy HAVE AN ATHLETE AT WSL DOING GOOD is a huge entrance barrier, really expensive. So smart guys like Hayden found his place and changed the marketing strategy and SharpEye is crying like a bitch. ALBUMAT is selling a lot of boards for 1000 dollars and that really bothers CI, SharpEye, and the old dogs…

Caveira é Baitola
Caveira é Baitola
9 years ago

I will do here a wetsuit review for Beach Grit for free. You just have two options:
1) the wetsuit is made at Sheico (all the big brands RipCurl, Oneill, Quik, Billa, XCel, Hurley, it’s serious all of them are made at Sheico) and are a piece of shit;
2) the wetsuit is mabe by Yamamoto rubber and it really delivers.

Spade
Spade
9 years ago

Al Byrne was a bloody good surfer/shaper(RIP). 2nd in the Pipe Masters. Neal Purchase Jnr ain’t to shabby either. Be interesting to see who Nick or MC would have as there top 10 surfer/shapers. Even top 5 from past and top 5 from present. Or we could just go to the Inertia for top 5 yoga poses on a Sup hyrdrofoil…..

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
9 years ago

Yep. Funnily enough my fav board for surfing margs is a superbrand pigdog… wide point forward and pulled in tail just like jjfs pyzel! Damn! Of course I’m not quite burying as much rail as john but there must be something about that shape…

wincy
wincy
9 years ago

My new Jeep shortboard is my new favourite shortboard for small to medium intermediate surfboarding.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

The only people who moan about this stuff are poor people. Poor people suck. Poor people need ‘authenticity’, that is all they got. But authenticity is just another commodity we sell to you poor people.

Some have the wealth to buy many toys and whatever brand we damn well please. Surfing good only matters to poor people. Rich kids are born with a silver surfboard under their feet. Rich kids rip cause we are the already the winners of life.

Hehe poor people. Monkeys flinging shit in a our zoo.

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Please explain what’s “Monkeys flinging shit in a our zoo”?

Is a our zoo a place?

comment
comment
9 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

There are so many brands that will tell you that by buying their mentally overpriced shit your undermining surfings great meritocracy and sending you a few rungs up the respect ladder, but they’re lying to you man, if you’re a kook, you’re a fucking kook. It doesn’t matter if your suit was as much as my car and your watch tells you how long you surfed your last wave for, everyone in the line up knows you haven’t put the time in the water because you were too busy at your insurance job and you will receive the level of derision you deserve both in and out the water.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago
Reply to  comment

mate everybody’s a kook compared to somebody else. Even Kelly.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

That’s no kook hodad. That’s Matt Johnson!

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

It’s just so good in the flesh. as bg says it’s a 6’6″ machined then with basically 4″ cut off the nose curve. J has a couple of ’em. They’re the only boards being ridden on tour that’ve actually had dings repaired in them. All the curves just fall away perfectly. But yeah you don’t want to get one. No not at ALL.

Kahuku High English Teacher
Kahuku High English Teacher
9 years ago

says the same guy who sells Filepe’s pro models….there’s truth to what he’s saying but he mainly comes off as bitter

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago

Im up voting your profession and place of work!

Kahuku High English Teacher
Kahuku High English Teacher
9 years ago

wait till you meet my speed dealing alter ego!

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
9 years ago

The bitter angle, next jealousy, so weak.

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

great, yes and yes.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago

I think I was scoffed “ass kisser” for thanking Maurice for shaping a board I purchased that felt really good under my arm. You gotta feel that thing up like Helen Keller having a go at Chas’s lady while he’s having a toot of all the white he keeps writing about..

Lemmy
Lemmy
9 years ago

What’s your review on rusty boards then?

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

Rick Hammond in a heartbeat owned five over the years all of them felt good under my feet. Can’t say enough..

Lemmy
Lemmy
9 years ago

right…more of question for michael who if I recall correctly only riding rusty boards

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago

Hammon, and yeah

Tronald Dump
Tronald Dump
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

It’s Rick Hamon guys.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago

that, and the rocker off a 6’6″ it looks like

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

and a narrow tail like a 6 6

Tired old guy
Tired old guy
9 years ago

You redacted the statement of Marcio’s calling out Hayden as one of these overnight internet wonders… why? who called and said alter the truth? It was in the article two hours ago, now deleted.. with those situational ethics, you’re a shoe in at Fox, CNN, ..wherever truth gets in the way of a good storyline

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  Tired old guy

oh no.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
9 years ago
Reply to  Tired old guy
ox-head
ox-head
9 years ago

“building shortboards to me is kind of a novelty. longboards, you have to walk back and forth. shortboards, you just stand right there and do the hula. and that’s it. it’s done! nothing to em’. there’s no real science to em, you know. the shorter you go, the little more curve you put in it, naturally, you can ride this type of wave and whatever. well, kids will enjoy it.”

– donald “the don” takayama

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

One persons dog of a board is another’s magic. My best boards really don’t work as well for others.
I love when some mediocre surfer shows up at the beach with an expensive lightly glassed big name board and still sucks. Maybe they should try another expensive big name board.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Oh yeah it’s way better when some mediocre surfer shows up at the beach with a gloss coated six ounce mini-mal from a 24 year old machine cutter with a pretty logo. Or a SUP. Or on and on and on. I strongly think people should cease looking around them for evidence that other people can barely surf, and look at their own acts instead.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago

Sharp Eye boards are pretty good. Two of the top three boards I have had in my lifetime, performance wise, were Sharp Eyes. My only problem with them is that they tend to be brittle… but I’m thinking that maybe that’s ’cause I shred too fucking hard!

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

what about a Pyzel.?

asking for friend.

Tronald Dump
Tronald Dump
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Pyzel hasn’t won any awards yet, so there’s no real way to tell if buying them will improve one’s surfing. Slater Designs is the clear choice. The award-winning, eco-friendly Sci Fi is the most compelling board design since Alaia in 2006. This board is the ONLY pathway, on a true surfer’s journey, to the Outerknown, and it’s only $770 USD (plus tax) away.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Ha! Is your friend on the Sunshine Coast?

On Easter Sunday just been, we had some chunky swell blasting the beaches around here. 4 guys walked down the stairs with Pyzel, CI, Lost and Vessel boards. (The last one is kind of a ubiquitous on the coast, not sure how or if they are widespread. I don’t get out much…) Off the beach they went, two almost made out the back before being beaten back by a solid set. The other two didn’t get much past the whitewater on the edge of the gutter. In they came, walked further up the beach to try again with the same result. Trudged back past me and my mate not more than 30 minutes later. My smartarse mate says “How was the surf fellas?”. Snapped his board in two the next day.

Jocks
Jocks
9 years ago

Vessel are 100% chinese whatever knockoffs of ci, lost, hs etc

Google Surfboard Warehouse to look at the future of surfboard retail!!

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

so fucking cheap………………..

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

So, that guy was the outlier of the group. For what it’s worth, I backed him in for being one of the gutter dwellers.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Great guy with a team rider that didn’t sell him out.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

What would be really anti-depressive is an article outlining which shaper actually shapes the boards for each surfer at each contest. As opposed to the sticker.

jimbome
jimbome
9 years ago

This, and pictures of said shapers actually surfing.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  jimbome

Tomo can lay it down! Seen it with my own eyes. Out surfed another shaper Machado..

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

you’d put Ryan Burch and Dan Thomson as best surfer-shapers on the planet, daylight second.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Not going that far out on a limb. And my father always said “Boy! You love those skinny branches.” I grew up in an era that shapers held a spot in the pecking order because of their surfing ability. And have always held those whom have that ability in high regard. A kin to saying Yes Ma’am and No Sir to some one I respect and love. That era is almost gone for my beach town and can’t tell you the last time I surfed with the person whom mowed the foam under foot. Love to have yours or Nick’s insight on the matter. Please..

longtom
longtom
9 years ago

well, mine is biased because there’s shit tons of good surfer shapers here (Lennox-Ballina) including Tomo, so thats who i surf with.

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

how about above head high?

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Tokoro?

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Pyzel??

bankswar
bankswar
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Webby

Mapski
Mapski
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Different era but Simon and MR are the greatest of all time. Gods.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago

So you’re saying I need to try different fins?

D.J. Tanner
D.J. Tanner
9 years ago

Last week my buddy got me to smoke weed for the first time in probably a year. Got to the beach and somehow spaced out on putting in all three FCS fins. Just two of three. Surfed a whole session without a god damn left fin. Didn’t even notice it till I got out.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  D.J. Tanner

that’s that kush!

Brutus
Brutus
9 years ago

nice to see a Sharpeye advertisement , with the advertorial!

slater thenewdonkey
slater thenewdonkey
9 years ago

If you are good on your feet, boards don’t mean shit. A pro surfer could get by with 4 boards, 2 shorts and 2 step ups for bigger waves. If you are not a pro and you have bought more than 4 boards new, you are a sucker in my book.

Tronald Dump
Tronald Dump
9 years ago

Well, that’s one hell of an assumption. Can I assume that you aren’t a pro surfer, but in fact quite the contrary?

Neal Kearney
Neal Kearney
9 years ago

After my second hip surgery in October, I made a deal with myself that I’d switch stance for an entire year and see what happens. You are right, if you can surf, it don’t matter what you ride. I’ve been riding logs, wavestorms, my old Mavs board, and just jumped down to a 7’0″. Also having a shit ton of fun at the same time. All the guys who are so sprung on the big shapers are usually proficient, but not great surfers. They don’t pull their tail blow, get angry, and go in. I get a sweet pocket ride and it’s made my week!!

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
9 years ago

Haha this is retarded. What if u just like a bit of variety in life?? I’ve bought heaps of new boards. Most of them super fun, keeps it fresh. Makes u stoked to go surf. I dont buy them just to “shred” i buy em cos variety is the spice of life.


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