New levels of spinelessness achieved!
I wanted to do one full week of coverage on Laird Hamilton telling TMZ that sharks attack because women are menstruating but I only made it for two days. Long enough to be able to write menstruating without having to Google its spelling but not long enough to set any tangible record.
Still, pretty good. But really, more than anything, I have been waiting patiently for The Inertia‘s take on the incident. Venice-adjacent sometime-white water rafting blog has a totally un-ironic lefty streak and I was dying for them to jump in all indignant and shred dear Laird for being a misogynistic creep.
But then again, would they? Laird Hamilton and his hydrofoil/SUP/super food non-dairy creamer represents everything The Inertia holds dear. Would they, instead of castigating their hero blame TMZ for misrepresenting an honest, albeit naive, opinion?
I waited and waited and waited and then just this minute right now found their take on Laird-gate buried deep in their feed. It read:
The World According to Laird: Women Experiencing Menstrual Cycle Could Be Shark Bait
We’re not quite sure where this came from, and TMZ has a reputation for pulling out the worst quotes when its reporters stick mics in people’s faces, but this nugget from Laird Hamilton on how woman experiencing their menstrual cycle are at a greater risk of being bitten by a shark is a head scratcher. Hard to find any evidence to back that up. So we’ll just leave this here.
That’s it and I haven’t been this let down since thieves broke into my family home when I was eleven years old and stole most of the presents from under the Christmas tree.
WHAT SPINELESS FUCKING PUSSIES!
I mean, I knew Zach Weisberg and crew were spineless and I guess I knew they were pussies but COME ON! For once, just once, grow a fucking pair of BALLS. Pick a FUCKING side!
One of you Inertia bastards better explain how you let this story fall so flat or I’m storming the office and NOT bringing any paleo granola bars with me.
You don’t deserve them.
None of you do.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
One time a quokka sniffed my missos pussy i think she was up on blocks there could be something in this
Hence zac dont get kicked outta parties on the north shore he gets to hang out and hang shakkas all night to anyone unfortunate enough to get eye contact
I hope this is not the end of the Laird gold. There has to be more treasure in the vault somewhere.
You tell ’em Chas! No paleo granola bars for you, you fuckin pussies!!!
I think The Inertia (Venice-adjacent sometime fake news perpetrator) hit a new low: http://www.theinertia.com/s…
By “some thieves” do you mean “my cousin”? One must seek the truth within, not without, Monsieur Smith.
I’ve had enough!! Fuck this man, the Inertia are pussyfooting around this topic? Beach Grit is pussyfooting around this topic. Menstruation is a goddamn miracle of life. You got just two days out of this topic? Bullshit. We should be blogging about, commenting about menstruation for a month. We should be asking women surfers, “excuse me mam? are you menstruating? Because if you are, I would be honored to paddle out with you. Throw away your tampons! I am not afraid of leakage, I embrace it!”
Fuck this I am not ashamed of menstruation. I am not afraid of the schools of sharks it may bring. I fucking hope they come, just so I can say, you fucking sharks, taking advantage of a beautiful natural cycle! You should be ashamed of yourself!!
Beach Grit thinks its hard core because it has menstruation in a title? If it really loved women as they are, these wonderful, bleeding human beings, it would sell fins emblazoned with twin tampons as a symbol of solidarity. Fuck it, the symbol needs three tampons. Surely you won’t deny your sisters a third tampon on the fins you designed for them?
And let me just say that I am sorry, ashamed and sorry, that Bethany Hamilton flashed across my mind during these two days of menstruation discussion. It was not her fault!!!! Read the Broadly article you fucken tiger shark, menstruation played no role in your attack!!!
that was some rant right there 🔥
tampon fins would be alright as long as they’re blackstix i only want to ride ’em if they’re blackstix
Fuck it, we’re adding a fourth tampon to the Beach Grit Blackstix tampon fins. If we can do three, we can do four.
four is good but only one for chas. chas only gets one. and a diva cup.
I hate the Saudis worse than The Inertia.
Racist!
What if I told you the saudis are funding the venice – adjacent website.
That new add that you have is totally fucking up the way this website is displaying. What is it about, flying lessons with fucking Harrison Ford or some shit?
I was told our ads are killing the site. I cry before going to The Inertia and crying again.
Look, the ads are f@cking terrible. I don’t care about fat ladies transforming to thin ladies. But you know what’s worse than that? What’s worse then click bait advertising and the Inertia put together? Trying to read a story on Beachgrit and getting the ‘there’s a problem with this site and had reload’ message.
Disqus ad or homepage banner ad?
Some bullshit ad just below the Carbon Wrap Mayhem boards, above the Disqus part – maybe Zack has a few dirty tricks up his sleeve. I thought it was my phone, but its nearly as bad on my laptop…
What does the ad say?
Nothing, there is some footage of planes coming into land at some airport, and some assholes POV from a Snowboard, Doesn’t seem to be selling anything. Its about a two minute clip that’s on rotation. It says “Sponsored” above it.
Righto… I had a fiddle, what about now?
Cheers mate, yeah that has worked for the laptop, the old iphone 4s still won’t display, keeps crashing, maybe I need a new phone, but it generally worked fine up until last week, but it could be a safari update thing, but i suspect it’s one of the ads, but I have no idea which as it won’t load!
I just killed the whole lot… was only paying a pittance.
Way quicker now on the laptop, phone still as temperamental as Laird’s favorite shark bait!
Finally! A world without Ellen kissing some guy. NEGATRON saves the day!
I keep getting Strider kissing some guy and announcing he’s changing teams
Chas, you sound a little overly emotional and upset about this…it’s just The Inertia, after all. Maybe don’t go in the water for 5-7 days…
You’re right. Damn it.
Don’t worry, Pipes was damn near flat at lunch, and with this weekend marking the beginning of the yearly Zonie invasion in SD, so we should probably all just swear off surfing till Labor Day anyway…
I’ve been D-ing up lately. Air reverses etc.
D-street and Pipes, why? Just why? Unless your last name is Goodrum, I’m at a loss as to why you would surf that shit.
It’s perfection for an Oregon boy!
Honestly bud your selling yourself short. I grew up one block from the D-Street stairs and my official assessment to this day is that 95% of the time it is a shitty closeout. A 15-20 minute drive in either direction can make a world of difference. I got chest-head high good waves for 2 hours straight yesterday.
Darryyyllllllllllll
The curse of the north county lunch break.
3 days off and possibly the worst waves in North County since… last month. And May Gray in full swing. Who is gonna step up and be a Slump Buster?