Are you on your couch right now waving a flag?
The World Surfing Games, held by the International Surfing Association, are currently underway in Biarritz, France and you don’t care. But let’s turn to our very own DrunkenAngel for further analysis.
we need an article about the isa champs. ffs there are fuckers in this comp who cannot even paddle out past the whitewater and surf worse than my 90 year old grandmother during another raging hemorrhoid infection. this is what the world will see for the olympics? there are people sponsored who literally surf worse than chas. wtf? and the crowds. not one. not two. but noone at all on the beach. NOONE. fucking pony wanking championships get more fans watching. this aint the olympic spirit. this is goddamn leftover spermatoza after a shameful wank to 90s porn magazine – yes, print – spirit. i am not a fucking elitest. we all suck. and sucky surfing is fine. but dont go fucking declaring this is somehow elite or even gutter level surfing. if someone manages to do an air reverse they’ll shit their diapers.
Real quick, are you saying I can get sponsored? And also the phrase “we all suck. and sucky surfing is fine. but dont go fucking declaring this is somehow elite or even gutter level surfing.” is inspired.
But lastly, the World Surfing Games got me thinking about surfers, in general, and the idea of nationalism. Is the modern nation-state, Westphalian sovereignty for our purposes, antithetical to our core selfishness?
Like, could you ever be bothered to cheer country over personality? Oh of course we cheer against nationalities from time to time (Brazil) but that is only because many of us are white and deeply fearful of the impeding loss of global domination.
Could you ever, though, proudly wave your country’s flag when it came to surfing? I think America is great (again) and all, I ain’t no self-loather and will always/forever cheer Clifton James Hobgood but…. I don’t know. I just can’t be fucked with the rest of it.
Plus, let’s be honest, only America, Australia and Brazil have enough legitimately good surfers to matter. Three countries in the whole wide world.
But am I wrong? Is nationalism the future of surfing?
(I’m totally not wrong.)
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Will Hawaii boycott da USA?
Just seen a Jew (I think maybe Palestinian? Hard to tell the difference) win a heat with a terrible display of small wave surfing made me wish I could pay to attend and represent/disappoint my country 🙁
And I’ve turned it off. Handled a solid 3mins but was reading Beachgrit at the same time.
im going to start referring to taking a dump as taking a kanga. because kanga is such a piece of shit
Speaking of Donkey wanks. Gotta love vice
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
donkey wanking > pony wanking
In their defence, those donkeys are very attractive.
Wait, so it’s not just a spectacle to let non-WCT represented countries pretend that their pros are on par with the crème de la crème? It’s actually a hobby for retired surf executives to waste their time on?
spectacle is journalism smorgasbord.
Only feel nationalistic when I am wearing my Billabong AI boardshorts and holding a bloody katana in my ISA loving hands!
You cheer for Clifton James Hobgood. You Defend Hawaii. You cheer against Brazil.
From sea to shining sea, you bleed red, white and blue. But you probably bleed more white than red and blue.
It’s really hard to get behind it when the international pony wanking championships are being held at the same time and captivating the nation. Poor timing on the ISA’s part.
How do you win that? Fastest time to finish? Do they measure pony’s enjoyment somehow?
the enjoyment is measured using the metric mule system. 20 mule is a good score.
Does load volume factor in?
Load volume x distance = metric mule
I was trying not to brag, but yeah I’m a pretty big deal in certain circles.
Oh I just just love the pony tail pulling and the undressage. Equeerstrian ain’t my flavor though.
Are the judges the same standard as the wsl? I mean, are they expert pony wankers, or merely competent and riding the (pony) coat tails?