Don't worry Kelly! You're among friends! You won't get sucked out to sea and end up in a Belfast hospital!
Don't worry Kelly! You're among friends! You won't get sucked out to sea and end up in a Belfast hospital!

Rip Current Rory: “Ok! I’ll surf again!*”

The Scottish survivor changes his tune but with one caveat!

Do you recall the thrilling tale of the Scottish surfer who survived a mid-morning session at his local Scottish break and then got in a rip and sucked all the way to Ireland? 32 hours bobbing and paddling and thinking he was going to die.

But he didn’t die and, resting comfortably in a Belfast hospital, told his mother that he would never surf again. The sentiment, of course, makes great logical sense though I must admit to being taken aback when reading of the bold assertion and opined how most of us are so rottenly besotted to this surfing that we will never give it up even when in our interest. Even when we should.

Like opioid addicts!

Well, it warmed my heart this morning to read that dear Rip Current Rory has changed his tune and is thinking about getting back on the Oxys! I mean board! Let’s read together in the Belfast Telegraph.

A surfer rescued in the North Channel after more than 30 hours stranded at sea has revealed he may return to the sport.

Matthew Bryce (22) has been treated for hypothermia after he was found drifting on his surfboard 13 miles from Northern Ireland and 16 miles from Scottish shores.

Following his ordeal he vowed never to surf again, but has now said he may get back on a surfboard as part of a group.

And that’s almost the spirit! Group surfing is better than no surfing at all.

Or is it?

Never mind. It is.

(*as part of a group)

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Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago

Are those Wigolly and Kay Otts dropping in on Kelly?
Can’t recognize the other two. Maybe Pottz is one of them?

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

we need an article about the isa champs. ffs there are fuckers in this comp who cannot even paddle out past the whitewater and surf worse than my 90 year old grandmother during another raging hemorrhoid infection. this is what the world will see for the olympics? there are people sponsored who literally surf worse than chas. wtf? and the crowds. not one. not two. but noone at all on the beach. NOONE. fucking pony wanking championships get more fans watching. this aint the olympic spirit. this is goddamn leftover spermatoza after a shameful wank to 90s porn magazine – yes, print – spirit. i am not a fucking elitest. we all suck. and sucky surfing is fine. but dont go fucking declaring this is somehow elite or even gutter level surfing. if someone manages to do an air reverse they’ll shit their diapers.

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

tell us more about these pony wnkng championships.

Tostiloco
Tostiloco
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

I have a participation ribbon in the 10-12 year old category. My dad made me enter.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Here we have the opening ceremony. You are welcome. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

thats a fucking unicorn dude.

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Wanking ponies, fucking unicorns..it’s all the same.
My buddy Jim paid his way through Uni wanking sheep for artificial insemination, and he’s now a very well balanced middle aged bachelor.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago
Reply to  longtom

And you thought i was joking.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Props to your g-ma for even bothering to surf during those raging hemorrhoid infections.

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

BEST COMMENT ON THE GRIT IN A WHILE. THE ISA GAMES ARE IN FACT A PILE OF SHIT

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Will be as relevant to Surfing as Olympic Golf and Tennis is to their sports. Unless there is a pre-qualifying series that vets out the Chas’s [and me’s].

Real Estate Schmuck
Real Estate Schmuck
9 years ago

Fuck I was hoping shark hysteria and rip currents would keep surf hobbyists out of the water forever

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago

Rocking up to the beach with his newly assembled crew…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

Ha! Have you seen 2?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I haven’t! Have you? Is it any good?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago

I haven’t either but will…

Stiffin Cuckoldildo
Stiffin Cuckoldildo
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

T2 is great. Nostalgiac and funny

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago

I’ve heard it is, against all odds, actually good!

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
9 years ago

Passable, but only if you have the nostalgia for original. I enjoyed, took my toddler to a daytime matinee, Mahou in one hand, toddler broccoli puffs in the other.

Johnny Utah
Johnny Utah
9 years ago

Sick boy is so sick!


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