What's it been? Two days? Three? Since a Great White story? Here, one of the better examples of the genre: murder, mystery! | Photo: Marine Dynamics

Mystery: “Murdered” Great Whites found!

Sharks washed ashore with livers, balls and stomachs "surgically" removed!

It ain’t easy being White. Nature’s friskiest animal, the Great White shark, is being targeted by “murderous” Orcas who, with “surgical precision” are removing the animals’ livers, balls and stomachs and then letting ’em bleed out on the beaches of South Africa.

According to a shark-diving company in South Africa called Marine Dynamics there are two kill-happy Orcas doing the rounds, killing sharks and, conversely, killing their shark diving biz.

Do you remember BeachGrit‘s number one favourite girl surfer after Lakey and Carissa, Ms Brinkley Davis?

As a newly qualified marine biologist she was working with a cage diving operation in South Australia that could you get close to Whites without having to bloody the water. Instead of the usual experience of Great Whites grabbing the cage with rows of see-sawing teeth and with eyes protected by their second eyelid (haunting!), the diver sees a relatively passive, inquisitive animal.

But then one day all the Whites disappeared.

Why? Orcas.

“We haven’t seen one in two weeks, ever since a couple of Orcas came through and killed a a big male behind our boat,” said Brinkley. “they take it down with their mouth or slam it with their body weight. After they kill, Orcas are picky eaters, so they’ll eat the liver and a few other things and leave the carcass. Right now it’s sitting on the sea floor. That’s why the sharks haven’t come back. Great Whites rock up to the Neptunes, think, What on earth has killed this other Great White? Obviously, no other sharks come in that area ’cause of the Great Whites so it’s a bit of a ghost town.”

And South Africa is now getting a taste.

“The pair of orcas believed to be responsible were sighted offshore of Danger Point then again in Franskraal today,” Marine Dynamics posted on Facebook. “Marine Dynamics cage diving boat tracked the pair. Subsequently, all cage diving boats failed to see white sharks today and it is believed the sharks may have fled the area once again.”

Orcas are, I think, the Vikings of the sea. They’ll herd a bunch of humpbacks, kill their babies and eat their tongues.

Or are dolphins a better example of those Nordic thugs?

They like “violent and coercive” sex, gang bangs, gang rape, they kill baby porpoises and enjoy, very much, infanticide.

Am I romanticising the ocean too much here?

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22 Comments
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Steve Savage

The ocean is an alien jungle. Do dolphins really do that? Thugs.

cuttiesandfloaters

Supposedly Richie Vas was near raped by a Dugong. #safeoceanspaces.

Bubba Zanetti

I heard it was near consensual.

Dennis Commentary

Fukn dolphins

Jocks

Derek dreams of Whites and Orcas and Pawle

Doobalachy

when will orcas become the new great white?

wincy

Fuck cage diving

Lemon Next to the Pie

Couldn’t we leave a trail of submersible orca dummies attached to lines to the sea floor about 500m off shore every 50m or so up the east coast?

turts

Easier yet, kill a great white and sink it to the ocean floor

Audit In Progress
Dogsnuts

Orcas are dolphins.

Audit In Progress

Huge if true…

Dogsnuts

True, huge dolphins.

Bin_Chook

Are they rapists like dolphins? I’m willing to look the other way if they keep on doing us solids.

Dogsnuts

You see this is why I have to delete my browser history so often.

Bin_Chook

Thank you, Free Willy.

Brutus

damn might have to kill those Orcas , to make sure the cage diving business can stay afloat!
But does bring up the point , that more GWS’s could be good for the cage diving business , and should get a couple going up the Byron bay coast and maybe WA , so financially surfers who are too shit scared to surf can still make a living!!

Jocks

Brutus, if a GWS was gnawing on your leg, do you think you’d be in shock bleeding out, or happy you provided one last McHappy meal?

Brutus

for a start a GWS would not gnaw on your leg , and if I was hit by a GWS , well I understood that when I surf , I take plenty of risks , like being hit by my board or someone elses , hitting the bottom with my head , standing on a stingray getting out , or even having an accident driving to the break , or hit by lightning…..and as sharks don’t generally eat humans they attack , not much of a meal us humans compared to a nice juicy seal.
I know the risks I take and live with them !

Pork Hunt

Excellent… Let the killing season begin

Eddie Haiku

Next to his Matt Branson one?

Eddie Haiku

There can never be enough romance! Once saw an Orca from (too) close range in the water. The size and speed of those things is fucking incredible. The hair stood up on the back of my neck for hours. They would, without doubt, be capable of giving Ol’ Whitey a proper touch up. Balls and all? Sheesh.


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