Want to try the Sport of Kings? Scottish hero says, "Don't!"
Surfing has a new mascot and his name is Rip Current Rory! The young hero from Scotland who was caught in a rip current and pulled all the way to Ireland is back in the news today with advice for any person thinking about trying out the Sport of Kings this summer.
Don’t!
He returned to Campbeltown, Scotland today, where his horror began, in order to retrieve his surfboard and thank the Coast Guard team that saved his life but he also shared his pointers for the best way to “enjoy” the surf. Shall we read?
Please, see my story not as a horror, but one that could learned from.
Despite having the correct equipment – a 5mm thickness wetsuit, with a 2mm thickness torso vest, along with gloves, hood and boots – there were other things I could have done to prevent this escalating to the point it did:
A) Do not go surfing alone. It was unnecessary risk. If I had been surfing with another person, or ideally a group, the coastguard would have been notified much earlier that I was in trouble.
B) Have an agreed time when you will be out of the water and that you will contact either a family or friend who is on dry land. This is a useful measure as it helps in case something is happening to your group.
C) Make sure the person you’re contacting knows where you are going surfing and expect to be back on dry land. If you want to go back in afterwards just message them saying so.
D) Purchase a personal GPS tracker. Although they can be pricey at first glance, when you consider the price of both a board and wetsuit, it isn’t that much more. And it’s worth it if you imagine two hours in the water before being rescued as opposed to two days. I know what I would choose. I would suggest this for non-surfers doing other water sports as well.
So a 7/5 wetsuit, gloves, hood, booties, GPS tracker, crew in the water, crew on the beach/at home. And that sounds like the worst time ever!
Between fear of shark attack, menstruation and Rip Current Rory’s advice I think zero new people will start surfing for the rest of the year and a few will even quit.
Victory!
Karl kommst du aus München
a)have you surfed in water under 10″ for 4months a year which basically means you should or must spend more money on your wetsuit gloves booties ( hood integrated into most suits for these climes) than your board.ice cream head aches from a 5 duck dive set can drive you literally incapable of thinking and acting in a coherent manner.
b)tide? Even in south west France a big tide will hug the dune at high tide and be 300 ms away at low tide . Well imagine Scotland.
So don’t be too hard on Scottish Rory
Except instead of a blanket and sarnie, it’d be a jazz-mag, can of Special Brew and a packet of Lambert and Butler (cheap ciggies)
Don’t worry about Scotland being too cold to surf. Since The Donald pulled The U.S.A. out of the Paris Climate Accord, Thurso will no longer be known as The Cold Water Nias but The Luke Warm Water Nias.
Oh and I forgot to add, you should also learn how to fucken paddle.
“Have an agreed time when you will be out of the water…” That right there detracts from the essence of surfing. Keep it up RCR.
One of life’s biggest conundrums is wearing a watch in the water in a an attempt to hold down one’s job. Never mind the missus, she’ll keep, but work… Fuck that shit is hard work.
That spot (Machrihanish is the spot, not Campbeltown which is merely the nearest village)
is a hell of a trek from Glasgow, and rarely works properly due to the tight window for swell between the pokey-out land bits of the region. It’s one of the few west coast spots in Scotland and about the only game in town for the the poor benighted Weegees. Feel sorry for them. No wonder it’s one of the heroin capitals of Europe.
Machrihanish! Does it get any more Scottish?
In fact Chas, the pronounciation becomes easier the longer you’ve been on the gear.
Scotland has actually had a surprisingly old surfing tradition:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
It’s Scotland, so this would just be standard
If I go missing in my local surf area they will automatically assume shark attack, to which my my wife has been instructed to say,’he died doing what he hated the most, being eaten by a shark’.
And the police on speed dial.
If I go missing my wife will be telling them I was working late. I’m screwed.
Poor Rip Current Rory, first he gets caught in a rip that carries him away from that famous stretch of sand named Beachgrit. Then Rory gets caught in another rip (likely on purpose to escape his reality) that carries him from Hawaii to Scotland. A life altering journey that not only landed him on the western shores of Scotland, but also rebirthed Rory as a Scotsman, and goofyfoot. Rory’s final trial and tribulation involving a rip current finally got Rory motivated in the right direction. Coast Guards. It was his calling. Guard the coast and encourage safety. Quite a metaphorical journey for his directionless soul that has proven most helpful for wave pools the world round.
This is great. Turn people off surfing. All hail rory!
Looks like Mr. Damon hired Jadson to be his surf coach.
Having a personal Drone Operator watching over you at all times will also assure that you are never washed out to sea alone again.
So peaceful and relaxing surfing under a drone isn’t it
If only.
I think the best we can hope for is that no new people start surfing on the west coast of Scotland. Perhaps we could start running TV ads of Zoltan’s kick flip? Or “Malibu Surf”?That might put a few more off.
The inertia has been doing it’s bit to take the foul stench of coolness from surfing for a few years now! Very commendable!
Noble work, indeed. But this always confuses me – should we also praise Noa Deane for fighting the good fight and making surfers look like vacant try-hards or is smoking in black & white actually cool?
Ha, I’ve been going deep of late, deep into the dark net of surfnerdism – deep into the inertia! Recently they ran an article about the environmental damage smoking does! Naturally I didn’t read the whole thing but was puzzled – if a smoker won’t quit for his own health – he’s hardly going to give up on account of the environment! Now Noah Deane is a special cyst on the face of humanity, but teenagers are drawn to pimples and I fear that that try-hard corporate whore is popularising the “sport” whose teat he suckles off at every chance!
Deep into “The Inerdia”
Has he done anything other than a straight air? He’s like Danes less talented cousin. Probably start his own company soon and call it ‘Latter’.
Doh-uh Deane.
If you don’t surf, don’t start.
That bumper sticker is the tell-tale sign of someone who has surfed for more than 20 years and still never learned how to bottom turn.