A no holds' barred, no cost spared, battle royale!
Two days ago it was revealed here that a flat earth proponent had upbraided the world’s most popular surfer on Instagram for believing the earth is round. It was my favorite story of the week because of its subtleties. Kelly is not shy to mix in a little conspiracy into his belief cake but apparently thinking that the earth is a giant flat disc with a 150 foot ice wall around the edges, guarded by NASA, to keep us in is not an ingredient.
And on Kelly’s social media accounts a flat earther swung in and quietly stated, “DUMB MOTHER FUCKER! IF THE EARTH IS A 25,000 MILE CIRCUMFERENCE BALL THEN THE FUCKING EARTH CURVES A SHIT LOAD AND VERIFYING THIS CURVE SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM, IT SHOULDN’T EVEN BE A CHALLENGE…”
then a little later…
“WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS YOU DUMB SHIT? WHAT AREN’T YOU GETTING? I KNOW YOU ARE STUPID, BUT I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE THIS FUCKING STUPID! NO VERIFIABLE CURVE MEANS NO CURVE DUMMY.”
then a little later…
“NOW GO FIND THAT CURVE WITH YOUR MILLIONS OR SHUT THE FUCK UP OR CHOOSE TO CONTINUE TO LOOK LIKE A BITCH! ALL YOUR DUMB ASS HAS TO DO IS SHOW US WHERE TO VERIFY THIS CURVE OF EARTH!”
Well, Kelly Slater quietly took his millions and…
…boom.
How many millions do you think that scaffolding cost to build?
Did Kelly win a battle or win the war?
Stay tuned!
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Just to back Kelly up again on this treacherous path of sure defeat, since it’s not a word he’s familiar with…
https://youtu.be/OpEke2grKjo
He’s a little video I made. Youre welcome Kelly.
How long till Marlboro picks you up so you can smoke cigs in the tube backside at Kirra while cutting rabbit off??
Wait enough about the corners can we revisit the last two words?
Depends if the scaffolding was built by kiwis
No offense to my american mates, but only in America …
History is forever changed–Kelly Slater has discovered that the earth is round! Next thing you know he’ll find out that the earth revolves around the sun. Come on!
Jesus Chas you couldn’t have taken an extra minute to rotate that pic 90 Degrees?!? I just got caught in the office cocking my head to one side trying to figure out what the pic was, looking like a total retard!
Is that where Fish Fingers come from? Love em
Nobody, but nobody, knows where fish fingers come from. And nobody should want to know where they come from.
Eat first, ask questions never
All those caps locks gave me an aneurism.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Brilliant.
Yeah, but who controls the light switch!?!????!?
Vishnu?
What a waste of Kelly’s money…all he had to do was point out that a lunar eclipse creates a curved shadow. The only thing that can create a curved shadow is a sphere. Then watch the flat earthers go nuts with flashlights and paper plates trying to prove Shill Slater wrong. Duh! Totally Shilly.
You’re new around here, right? The BeachGrit ain’t no place to be throwin’ around logic or reason, okay? Meanwhile…welcome. Aloha AND Mahalo.
For logic and reason go to stab
“Surfing is suited-and-booted stockbrokers.”- Sounds like theyre a bunch of libtards over there. I’ll pass.
I’ve been a creeper for awhile. This broke my silence. I can’t quietly sit back and watch Kelly become a flat earth shill. These people will try to destroy him. Their sun and moon are damn holographic images ffs! Mahalo!
Don’t be shy! 😀
By the way…and please don’t tell anyone…but many years ago I flew on Concorde and can vouch for the fact that from 55K feet the earth does appear to be spherical in shape.
That’s just because of the SUPERSONIC speeds you were traveling at. And the fact that planes travel in curved lines instead of straight ones. Pfft. 😉
Don’t take this wrong, but I tried to swipe right on your avatar.
Unfortunately I can’t say the same for you my friend… Don’t take it personal, it’s just that I’m a Dolphin guy!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Thank God you didn’t try to swipe left!
Analysing his use of emoticons, it is possible to infer that Kelly has tendencies toward being a gay clown. You know, with that ‘lil rainbow and clown face and such.
I have a conspiracy theory of my own – that flat earthers do not exist – they are fake personas created by the American government to discredit conspiracy theorists such as Kelly!
total false flag attack
I want to be a NASA ice wall guard
You have to join the Night’s Watch.
Was that the Night Court spin-off that got cancelled after two episodes?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Awesome!
Do you get a telescope?
That picture is so fake! Water doesn’t stand up on its side like that! Since there is an ice wall around the edges of this dinner plate we live on, come get frosted tips with me in solidarity with our flat earth friends.
You’re not being serious. I totally want frosty tips!
Well I wasn’t….shit! Lets do it! I’ll meet you at the salon or saloon, where ever we can get it done.
Saloon at noon. Surely it is not above a writer to do some day drinking?
THATS BECAUSE GRAVITY IS FAKE YOU STUPID IDIOT! WHAT DONT YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT YOU DUMB SHIT! WATER STANDS UP ON ITS SIDE NATURALLY BUT THEY DISTORT YOUR PERSPECTIVE! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
Can someone please get Kelly HGH to heal that damn foot? Six months of his social media pontificating/engaging random retards might bring about the apocalypse.
Kelly’s social media pontificating has gotten better scores than his surfing.
Good point. Thusly…the apocalypse has, in fact, begun.
That’s because the phone he’s using is better suited to his style.
He’s probably a trt guy
He’s been on the hgh for years., what’s another few doses?
Kelly is blossoming into quite the postmodern character.
That’s because the photo was taken through a fisheye lens.