Take this quiz for a definitive answer.
Recently, the writer Nick Carroll made some very hurtful comments about our “ridiculous” website.
However, he also provided a checklist (for which I’m grateful) that tells you whether or not you’re an intelligent kook.
You already knew you were a kook, but intelligent?
Only this quiz will tell.
1. Do you live in a big city
2. Did you go to university?
3. Do you understand post-modernism?
4. Do you write sleek witty judgmental prose about surf culture? (Bleach’d Grit, Longtom, Negatron, That Dead Whale etc. I’m looking at you.)
5. Do you surf like a sack of shit (paraphrased)?
Congratulations! You’re either an intelligent kook, a stupid kook or a liar.
No one who doesn’t surf like a sack of shit really understands post-modernism.
We pretend we do, but every time someone mentions it, we use Google to “refresh” our memories.
Or is that just me?
Anyway, unless I’m very much mistaken, the only thing saving Nick from his own list is his surfing ability. So, Nick, let me ask you a few questions.
Nick: For how much longer do you think you’ll be able to surf half-decently?
When you stop being able to do so will you immediately retire from surf journalism?
And how badly do you want to throttle me for being such a pedantic graduate of Google’s school of postmodernity?
Not that bad? Not even an eyebrow? Read on.
Do you reckon you surf better than your brother at the moment? How long until his knee gets better and he overtakes you again?
I can’t imagine my younger brother being better than me at surfing, let alone a world champ.
How did you live with it for so long? And are you willing to give it up again?
But back to postmodernity, one last question:
Is the self-aware kook still a kook?
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
I’m not at all trying to tell you how to run your website, and perhaps the traffic numbers are validating your strategy, but how are you expecting to grow your audience when 75% of the posts are basically in-jokes for the comment section community? Just an observation.
Or…
Modernism- Things have a certain pedigree, a path, place, meaning. E.g. George Bush jr was born to be a President. Swastika symbol represents Nazi Germany= evil. Rip Curl, meaning rip the curl, establish 1969, is a modernist company trying to survive in a post-modern society. No post-modern kid gives a fuck they started in ’69. Surfline started as a surf report on telephone land lines (which barely exist now) hence surf-line.
Post-modernism- Breaks all the modernist rules. Things don’t need a pedigree, a path or any meaning to be. They just are.
E.g. Obama the first black president. Trump as current president, doesn’t make sense, just is. A kid will wear a Swastika symbol on a t-shirt, just because it’s a cool looking shape. Anything goes, for no apparent reason, which appears as chaos to modernist-left-behinds.
Beachgrit just sounds good.
I’m a kook, but I carry my board like a child so it offsets it
I fucken love this James booth guy already. Give the man a permanent job. 3 articles a week, no no make that 4. Just hang shit on that oxygen thief every time.
He’ll soon be back on 60 minutes selling what’s left of his soul and reminding all of Australia yet again that he was ‘1846 North Steyne High School year ten World Champion’ 140 years before his brother was. Like anyone gives a fuck
I hate lists and I hate quizzes, lazy boring writing your sacked
I cuestion you:
How does the university question factor in? Does it make you more or less intelligent?
Does it make you better or worse at surfing? What if you majored in surf studies?
Sincerely,
Confused
Yes. I didn’t even have to read the questions.
Postmodernity IS Google. So, all good.
surf as much as possible until you think you’ve graduated from kookdom and you’re riding something less than 35 liters. ask a buddy to video you. if you don’t off yourself right there, give it another 5 years and repeat.
I am nearly there!
1) Do you say “bruh?”
2 ) Do you drive a car/truck with black rims?
3) Do you wear a flat brimmed hat with an energy drink logo adorned?
4) Do you have a bit pull dog on a metal chain?
5) Do you have a Gracie Barra Jiu Jitsu sticker on said car/truck with black rims?
(909) approved
Are you Joeljitsu?
Gracie Barra truck stickers are the Trump University degrees of bjj
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You won.
I always wondered if surfing was a path to enlightenment. Or like playing rugby.
You can be enlightened to how shit of a person you have become.
No shits bro!!
You sure, bro?
The whole surf industry is just a battle of who’s the biggest cunt
I bet its someone who works at Oakley
Was thinking more along the lines of Chas Smith himself but I’d accept this.
You must think I give a shit.
This comment is like a no claim claim.
The John John of “surf journalism”
I claim that I find James Booth to be more obnoxious, self-righteous, and defensive than a dwarfish millennial former contributor. That’s saying a lot.
I probably love the guy in the comments, but fuck, his writing is shit.
Did I just make you realise you’re a kook?
Your comment made me realize that you’re just as lacking in wit and personality as your writing makes you out to be. Trying too hard makes sucking look even worse.
You certainly visit a lot. As if you don’t want to be part of a feud?
Please go and do some research on something interesting, write about it like you care, and shut the fuck up.
But if I shut the fuck up, how am I going to write about it like I care?
If you do it in the order specified you will have no issue. x
I find as I grow older, and more boring, one of the few genuinely satisfying hobbies a gentleman has left is taking a reeeeeeaallly good shit.
Oat bran FTW.
Kelly, take note.
This depresses me…
Lol
Glad I didn’t make that list.