Australia's Gold Coast experiment could alter the very world!
If you have ever been to Snapper Rocks off Australia’s Gold Coast or even seen pictures you know that it is very very crowded. I sometimes see it as a vision of the post-apocalyptic world. A place where 90% of the world’s waves have been rendered worthless due either rising sea levels or nuclear poisoning. The remaining surfers scratch and kill over Snapper and ummmm Trestles, only banding together in order to fight roving bands of Chinese interlopers.
Damn Chinese.
And it was with this scenario in mind that I saw a headline with bleary eyes this morning from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation that read:
Surf Break Made of Fabricated Steel Aims to Reduce Crowding on Gold Coast Waves
But through bleary eyes and into an addled brain it read:
Fabricated Steel at Surf Break Aims to Reduce Crowding on Gold Coast Waves
And I immediately imagined an outside jail built right on the Snapper Rocks for unruly surfers or egregious snakes or anyone on a fun/egg shape or you know… the sorts of surfers we don’t like. They would be fished out of the water by a giant hook and put inside the jail for up to four hours, depending on the offense. In the post-apocalypse it will be used exclusively for Chinese interlopers.
Damn Chinese.
Then I read the story.
Steve Barrett of Offshore Surf Reefs has been working on a new concept of artificial reef for more than 10 years.
After successful wave tank trials at the University of NSW he is ready to put it to the test.
Mr Barrett has approached Tweed Shire Council for support to apply for a grant to help him build a prototype of his reef design.
If successful, he wants to trial his concept on the Tweed, with Dreamtime Beach at Kingscliff flagged by council officers as the likely test spot.
The artificial reef would be made of fabricated steel off site and floated 150m off shore where it would be attached to the seafloor.
Oh.
Ummm. Have you ever surfed an artificial reef? Do you think they are more or less viable than Kelly Slater’s Wave Ranch technology? But do you think my idea of an outside jail is even more viable than either?
Me too.
Just what we need Mullet, more rules for idiots…
I think everybody associated with this idea should be put in jail now to save time.
yes but there is a funding opportunity , you could 10x your investment!
I love my kids Les! Does anybody love you?
Glad you do and good for you Nik, cause there is already a shit load of parents doing a shit job with their kids.
I get plenty of love don`t you worry
I agree, that’s why the good guys have to keep on breeding. Sorry for being an uneccesary smart arse.
The Goldy has history in artificial reefs. Wasn’t there an attempt in the late 80s/early 90s at Narrowneck? From memory, it was large sandbags about 15m long by about 1.2m diameter. Bags split fairly early in the piece and distributed the sand nicely into straight arse banks.
Didn’t do much for thinning the crowds at the points.
That was more to protect the erosion at Narrowneck than create a surf spot
Maybe so, but I’m an optimist.
Stop blaming the Chinese, every stupid fuck I know thinks they are fit to be a parent and that you “have” to start a family to have a meaning in life. The world is already exploding with stupid resource-hungry people and yet any talks of curbing world population is considered taboo. Play the game of “5 whys” with almost any problem we face today and you will get to the answer that its because there are too many humans
I think the Chinese reference was a subtle nod to Trump. And “stupid f$@ks” will inherently always believe they’re fit to be parents because…well…they’re stupid.
The Chinese are responsible for a lot of evil . Malfunctioning electronics, a North Korean legacy that prizes porn over feeding people, illegal organ harvesting, gamed GDP figures to manipulate world trade, etc.
The resource hungry people have been trained in the art of consumerism from early childhood. There has been a system in place that feeds off people’s insecurity and desire to outperform one another.
You need to ask yourself where these resource hungry people came from? They came from resource hungry international corporations that create an excess of products for a small portion of the world population. There is ample amount of resources available for the entire world population to live comfortably. This is what credible data suggests.
The problem is that the resources are extracted, controlled, and distributed by corrupt entities. These firms have no in interest in ending world hunger, stopping disentary, and providing renewable energy, and the overall greater good of humanity.
agree with most of the stuff, 2 points are off
Can`t keep blaming “evil corporations” for all the problems, this is just failed socialist banter. People can “vote” with their dollars everytime they buy something from someone, if you dont like a company stop buying their shit, if only people were more informed about who makes what, but the sheep farm are too worried about instagram likes and celebrities, but I won`t even get into this…
And there is definitely no ample amount of resources in the world available for the entire world population, not at this crazy rate of consumption, and we`ll be 9 billion by mid-century. Look for poverty statistics for families with 3+ kids and the curve goes up like crazy
I love your jail idea Chas, it would mean less kooks and more discipline in the water, and nooormally, less drop-ins. Normally.
We clearly need surf referees who can send someone to the cooler (a fabricated metal structure) for a drop in, double-grab anything, or a bad haircut. They should be able to issue penalties like 3 wave hold-downs (with some cement shoes to help) and fin rehabilitation (taking them out and throwing them to the masses). They would work alongside the style referees, who would be penalising bad style with strongly worded instagram posts.
Agreed. Surf referees are the next big thing to keep a semblance of order in the water.
I like your 3 wave hold-downs penalty. But it’s only fun when there is at least a 17s swell period lol.
Penalties will also impact those who:
-Can’t do a proper layback snap
-Show too many similarities with Adriano’ style
-Are named Caveira
-etc.. please keep the list going
Someone once told me they thought we should treat surfing like drivers licenses. You have a pink card for a beginner kook, a blue card for a intermediate kook, and a red card for an expert kook/”look-at-me” kook. Certain breaks require certain cards. Artificial reefs should be reserved for the pink cards only and take those kooks out of our lineups.
Yeah Bournemouth in the UK got snagged by a snake oil salesman to the tune of £3M+ for world class wave attraction….that ended well. GOOD LUCK!
Heard of that, I also know how shitty B’mouth is for surfing
Tell me: does anywhere in the English Channel really get good? Prevailing winds?
No it is shit, but I have french standards so my opinion may be biased. If you want british waves Cornwall is your go-to. Otherwise in the area go to southern Brittany in France (Morbihan, Finistère)