Bullies and thieves, the lot of them!
I know I’m a bit behind on this story but you’ll have to forgive on account of Central American internet connection (we are generally 1.5 days behind the real world) and my subsequent alcohol consumption (which is 2.5x it’s standard rate).
Anyways, Chas can fuck right off because if anyone is gonna talk shit about New Jersey (read here), and specifically its overzealous teenage beach taggers, it’s me.
If you don’t know, New Jersey law mandates the purchase of a beach tag for people over the age of twelve visiting the beach between the months of June and September.
After reading Chas’s piece chastising the “aggressive and belligerent teenagers”, I feel obligated to add my thirty-two cents on New Jersey’s omnipresent beach taggers.
First of all, fuck New Jersey and its beach tag laws. If you need to charge the shoobies to access the beach, fine, but don’t charge the people who live there full time, who pay taxes, who feed local economies on a daily basis to walk on the fucking sand. The beach is the only reason we live there, so to charge us extra money to attend our own public commodity is ludicrous.
Now, on a more optimistic note, I’d like to share a fun fact: after living in New Jersey for six whole years, I never bought a beach tag. This was my biggest act of rebellion as a young’n and boy did it feel good.
In order to avoid payment, I’ve actively participated in practices such as: fleeing the scene (off the beach), fleeing the scene (to the water), befriending beach taggers (many of them went to my high school), seducing beach taggers (some of them males), and going on all-out tirades of Chas Smithian proportions. I had the cops called at least thrice but was acquitted each time.
Mostly, my opposition to the system came from points of entitlement and pride. I acted like an asshole because it was, in my mind, every bit of justified on account of my local status. I surfed there all year long, so who the hell was this kid (who didn’t set foot on the beach once September had gone) to dictate my beach usage in high season?
In the case of helping autistic kids learn to surf, I can’t imagine the lengths I would have gone to ruin the lives of these overly-empowered, sometimes-attractive high schoolers.
It’s funny, when you give someone a taste of authority, they tend to feel justified in abandoning all previously learned concepts of morality.
That’s why we must fight back with an iron fist.
He’s tired of the lack of recognition. Like anyone’s gonna come up to him in the Lennox shops and say “G’day, longtom! How’s the comments section?”
a little bit or alot of anonymity is the most treasured possession for any writer. especially a surf writer.
Mullet, don’t know what happened, it was just a computer glitch, but I’ve been doxxed along time ago.
Richard Bachman almost killed Stephen King!
Jane Austen was slowly poisoned by Emily Bronte’s great aunt!
This comment was the best part of this article.
Mike, New Jersey sounds like an absolute shite-hole, granted.
But as a former native is there anything good about the joint?
Apart from the accent.
Here’s a list of all the great things about new jersey:
1. the waves (2-10 days per year)
2. september (bloody gorgeous)
3. springsteen (if you’re into that kinda thing?)
4. sam hammer an dean randazzo (NJ surfing’s beacons of hope)
I don’t know how even I’d begin to list all the bad things…
You forgot perhaps the only good thing: sarcastic, shit-talking, hot jewish girls.
The fuck if I’m going to carry an extra heavy property tax load so I can pay for the services the tourists that come down from PA use. Increased police, lifeguards, increased fire and ambulance corps, increased trash pickup, increased beach clean up, etc. I’m not springing for all of that owning a home in a beach town. Bring on the beach tags and parking meters!
Hey Miller! I hear you, but here are a couple things:
1. Don’t you live in Court House? In such a case, wouldn’t you likely be exempt from paying island-specific taxes?
2. Do you not agree with a local (someone who can prove they live in their island home for the majority of the year) exemption? Or at least a discount?
Around here, there’s a local’s pass for beach parking which seems sane. For the areas with paid parking, that is.
Live offshore, on a business on the island so I pay taxes both places. All towns are different but sea isle, Avalon and stone harbor all offer discounted tags in the spring. Same goes for parking meter passes.
Huggits for life
You can summon The Immortal Iron Fist a la Danny Rand?!!