Which surf icon has drinking at the top of the "things-I'm-best-at" list?
How many times have you seen the John Milius surf classic Big Wednesday? Three? Seven? Ten? I have only seen it twice which is mostly inexcusable. The first time I thought it to be pure kitsch. The second, though, I was in Morocco in the villa of a wonderful French friend and maybe it was the red wine or maybe it was the sweet jasmine on the air but I found it the pinnacle of surf art.
Its star, Jan-Michael Vincent with his brooding anti-hero thing, danced upon the screen and I thought, “Has there ever been a greater surf hero?
Time, has not been kind to Jan-Michael. Too much drinking saw his leg sawed off and he is in debt etc. but still alive! And living in Mississippi.
Anyhow, he took to Twitter a few days ago to list the things at which he is best.
1) Drinking
2) Acting
3) Surfing
4) Kicking ass
5) Not paying
6) Flying
7) Stunt driving
8) Being your hero
Have you ever, in all of your life, read a finer list?
Me either.
But please share, what are the eight things that you’re best at? Does surfing make the list? Does drinking?
Jan Michael Vincent in “Hooper” was an underrated performance. Anything with Terry Bradshaw and James Best immediately qualifies as pure art.
1) poaching eggs
2) injuring myself
3) takin shits at work
4) smashing tins
5) ability to surf anything that floats (just not very well)
6) lying
7) sarcasm
8) general nonchalance in all situations
re..1) – a dash of vinegar?
You know it.
1. Thinking I look better surfing than I actually do
2. Walking into rooms and forgetting what I wanted
3. Cutbacks
4. Religiously remembering names of any dog I meet but forgetting those of people I deal with on a daily basis
5. Frontside five-o’s
6. Needing a shit at innapropriate times
7. Hanging up on copings, ledges, rails, microscopic dust size pebbles, etc…
8. Spotting dolphins, seals, otters, anything in the sea at far off distances with ease but failing (not wanting) to spot the guy taking off deeper than me on a set wave
9. Endlessly debating what board to take out and then going out on old trusty board I always go out on
10. Complaining about going out on the wrong board
re your ‘8’ above – I’m the best in the world at spotting cetaceans. In times of yore when whaling was the only game in town, I would have never paid for a tankard of ale in Nantucket or Providence, Rhode Island, and there would have been a statue commemorating my prodigious skills on top of Mount Clarence overlooking Port Royal Bay. As is is now, though, I get screamed at if I don’t put the bins out on Tuesday night. Missed it by a century or so.
You deserve to get screamed at. Sincerely, Cetaceans Everywhere
AAGHH! Didn’t see that coming.
There’s still a market for your skills if you hang around with striped bass fisherman in NY/NJ. Seeing bluefish busting through schools of bunker from a significant distance will make you very popular.
Any direct flights out of Perth international airport?
At least two stops these days.
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Yes! Ha!
That’s a tough one, so I’ll reserve this one for my Summer so far, here in Costa Rica…
1) Being eaten by bugs
2) Getting lipped on the dome pulling into closeouts
3) Getting food poisoning
4) Dodging crack heads
5) Holding on for dear life every time I get in the car
6) Watching other dumbasses get lipped on the dome pulling into closeouts
7) Feining sleep while my friend goes off to surf 15 foot Playa Hermosa
8) Being toasted by the vicious equatorial sun
9) Wanking
10) Surfing switch stance
You can surf switch?
I’ve strictly surfed regular foot since my second hip surgery last October. It’s been a humbling, reckless, and awesome adventure! After my year batting for the other team I’m compiling all my journals, notes, and remembrances into a narrative. It might just show up in a magazine!
Jan had eight. You had ten. Kind of a demigod-ish move don’t you think?
My mother was lost in the woods during the season of the Spring and returned pregnant. I am, in fact, the offspring of Pan, God of the Wild!!
Nothing ever stopped Butch Van Artsdalen except the bottle. Best surfer. Best drinker. Dead before 40. Did we really need Jim Morrison to reinforce the lesson?
Clearly not the best drinker then, possibly the worst…
Dogs
Getting the second wave of the set
Magnets
Hand rolling
Soul arches in inappropriate places
Beer
Reading 3/4 of a book
Ping pong
1.Accounting.
2.Algorithms.
3.Logarithms.
4.Microsoft Excel.
5.Draft emails.
6.Page layouts.
7.Printing to PDF.
8.Being a free spirit.
Impressive – reads like my bucket list.
This is what I came up with:
1. Reaching high things
2. Thinking about surfing
3. Needlework
4. Touching people
5. Walking
6. Procrastinating
7. Ears
8. Ideas
I had an accountant that fucked my tax returns. Too late, I discovered, he had a free spirit.