Smooth: Gabriel Medina’s “big heart!”

The best bad guy in World Surf League history!

Yesterday’s Tahiti final, wherein Australia’s Julian Wilson extricated himself from needing a combination of scores by picking two waves, one under priority, and surfed them near perfectly thus vanquishing Gabriel Medina and the dreams of a proud South American nation, was so wonderfully dramatic.

And it was grand to see Julian Wilson so happy on the boat afterward reveling in the praise and the surreality but the star of the entire Teahupo’o’o show was none other than Gabriel Medina.

For Medina’s semifinal heat against Kolohe Andino and then his finals run against Wilson were cinema. Pure Hollywood.

Mr. Steve Sheare’r described the action better than I ever could but what thrilled me the most was that for the first time maybe ever surfing actually has a villain. A proper bad guy. An evildoer who possesses enough skill, talent, knowledge and drive to win many more events and possibly many more titles.

Most professional surf fans look back so fondly on the Andy Irons vs. Kelly Slater years and they were very fun with Andy occupying the bad boy role and Kelly playing the good boy. Both were near equally loved and cheered which was entertaining but…

…the visceral hatred pouring out against Medina is art.

The way he got under both Kolohe and Julian’s skin through tactical annoyance. The way they both fell directly into his trap. The way that most professional surf fans took to comment boards and social media to decry the “poor sportsmanship.” Julian Wilson (after getting very lucky, let’s just be honest) could only muster, “Gabriel Medina has a big heart. Let’s leave that one in the water.”

It could not have been better. I swore, near the end of the semifinal, that I saw Kolohe kick his board toward Gabriel. I have watched the highlights replay now twice and can’t find it so it must not have happened but in my mind it did and that is the performance Gabriel Medina is delivering. So full-throated, so all in, that I imagine egregious acts.

Gabriel Medina is a method actor. He is Billy Zane in Titanic. He is Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He is Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest.

He is bad and it’s so good!

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Les Grossman
Les Grossman
9 years ago

Damn tour is becoming like the patty-cake festival of “I am just so happy to be here and I love all the other girls” that is the Women`s Tour. Not the biggest fan of Medina (and I`m half brazzo) but good to see someone trying to put it to the other boys more agressively

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
9 years ago

His lineage weren’t swimming in pools of hundy dollar bills in their teens.

Preston
Preston
9 years ago

Well, I guess it’s up to Kolohe’s crew at Lowers to make Gabs feel right at home in the coming weeks.

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
9 years ago
Reply to  Preston

Make Gab hang with Luke Davis for an entire day? Pure torture.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

Too easy. I’d like to see an Italian whack that soft ‘lil fucker. Leo? You listening?

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
9 years ago

“how much you selling that weed for old man!” Talladega nights.

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago

Agree about his style and the tantrums, but like that he doesn’t comply with that boring WSL “we are all a big family” crap.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

If Gabby is surfing’s biggest badass, we are the weakest fucking professional sport on God’s earth.

Preston
Preston
9 years ago

Can you image Gabs pulling that shit on Sonny or Johnny Boy a few years back? Ask Neco how
that worked out. I’d pay to watch that!
The part I don’t get is why Gabs doesn’t feel he can win without the bullshit. Doesn’t that diminish the win to some degree?
The attached photo is Mr. Goodsport kicking his feet to crumble the lip on his opponent’s wave.
Well, at least he’s consistent. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago

He is playing the game and wants to win using whatever resource is available. Hassling is one of them.
I like how snowflakes are so vanilla that anything not politically correct is taken as “poor sportsmanship”.
I love the drama and prefer that than heats been decided purely on surfing skills. Is it a battle or not?! More Medina Madness please!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

This is exactly the kind of thing the WSL should encourage! It adds excitement to a boring competitive model. I love to surf but contests are such a fucking yawn.

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
9 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

Is it a battle? No. It’s surfing.

Unless there’s perfect pulsing surf, surfing is boring to watch live, it is what it is. If you feel then need to watch bitches on tv, then you can always catch up with the Kardashians.

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago

You can call whatever you want. It is still a confrontation. We are talking​ about a contest here.

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
9 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

I prefer to call it what it is. Surfing. Battle/confrontation sounds more like an American tv show made for A.D.D people with a short attention span.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago

Americans love battles. winners are nice but we definitely aren’t interested in anything where nobody loses.

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago

You can call it whatever you want. It is still a confrontation. We are talking​ about a contest here.

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
9 years ago

German, do you know what Connors contenders did to drive him mad before match? Roland Garros, Wimbledon, and more?
They put in all walls, posters and small photos of his ex wife Patty Mcguire, nude, explendid and fabulous…
Tenis man… tenis! 70’s era.
Tenis, the most classical and elite sport.
ps: golf it’s not classical… it’s for gangsters!

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

this is good, I wanted to ask someone like you whether you think the snowflakes are just stupid or that their goals are stupid or are they half-communists, using political correctness to limit your right to free speech? do you also hate social justice warriors? and is it because social justice is just a fancy word for communism?

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Rereading my post I now think it’s a bit over the top to relate snowflakes, PC an poor sportsmanship in this context, but you understood my idea, right?
All I say is that Gabriel was protecting the inside, trying to get priority, not​ poor sportsmanship. Its not like he was pulling Kolohe’s or Julian’s leash or something like that.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

yeah, its a contest. i was just wondering if the “win at all costs thing” was like more American or something?

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

I guess not. If it was, it would be Kolohe in that position, but it seems it is for Gabriel.

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

yeah, i’m so ready for a coin flip or just starting with the higher seed having priority, way to much time is being spent paddling guys up the point. can you imagine how boring that is for the non-surfing fans the WSL is looking for?

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Good idea.

simpleton
simpleton
9 years ago

You gunna share that kush cowboy?

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago
Reply to  simpleton

I would have a turn at the doll.

Blade
Blade
9 years ago

He is a Cunt is what he is

ricmatic
ricmatic
9 years ago

Just one, shouldn’t there be a gap between any and more when talking quantity?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Saw that as frustration at being blocked and then G not taking the wave.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

I have a secret – I got rid of Jules and put Gabs on my fantasy team. Can we still be friends?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Well that was silly in 100% retrovision. As long as your not GM levels upset about it, no harm, no foul.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

Misted up a little but I think I don’t think anyone noticed apart from the dog. Promise not to tell Jules please.

ricmatic
ricmatic
9 years ago

Do you have a secret exclamation mark vault? Better not run out !

Bleedin' Brzezinski
Bleedin' Brzezinski
9 years ago

Australians named Julian sure know how to fuck up a guaranteed victory.

Gabby’s gonna win: Julian Wilson

Clinton’s gonna win: Julian Assange

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
9 years ago

Julian is a fantástic surfer, and have balls, have the courage to win, and for be a near champ, maybe. He tops Medina, and win.
Two phenomenal surfers

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago

NBA/NFL/MLB players have been dealing with the “He has brown skin… I mean, Poor sportsmanship!” thing for decades. So, maybe surf IS becoming a mainstream sport! Thanks and RIP, Paul Speaker!

IslandLibertarian
IslandLibertarian
9 years ago

Race? Oh fuck, just shoot me now…

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Ok

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

And in thiiiis corner we haaaaaaave
Chas ‘The Apostrophetic Apostle’ Smith!!!!!
****the crowd roars****

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
9 years ago

He’s talented, and he’s a champ. Like Tyson, like Schumacher, Alonso, Andy, Romário, Ibrahimovic, like Cantona, like Zidane… He’s genuine. And he’s not care be the good boy… But he’s not Armstrong…

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
9 years ago

Armstrong! An amazing athlete and a brilliant super villain.


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