Dead person on beach

Unsettling! Body disrupts fun day at the beach!

What's the oddest thing you've encountered on the way to a surf?

Unsettling is a term that best fits when you ding your new Cordell.

Unsettling is when your dad tries to get on the undercard for Mayweather-McGregor fight (Sorry, Mr. Medina).

But finding a dead body en route to your session?

Apparently, a lady from Texas took a moonlit stroll down at Ocean City, Maryland, right there at the front of my house, at 2:30 am, and fell into a hole for the rest of her life.

Here’s the scoop from CBS News:

The death of a 30-year-old Texas woman found buried on a Maryland beach has been ruled accidental.

Citing a ruling from the state’s Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, Ocean City police said in a statement Wednesday that Ashley O’Connor of Plano, Texas, who was found buried in the sand, had suffocated.

Beachgoers discovered the body Monday morning. Police spokeswoman Lindsay Richard says only O’Connor’s arm was visible above the sand.

Richard says O’Connor got separated from her family about 2 a.m. Monday and walked onto the beach alone. She was later found in a hole covered by sand.

Police say it’s not clear whether she fell into the hole or climbed in on her own. Richard didn’t know the exact depth of the hole, but said it was significant.

While crews worked the scene Monday, people were sunbathing right next to it, CBS Salisbury affiliate WBOC-TV reports.

“I guess it was shocking just seeing all these people just kind of moving around and vacationing when there’s someone that’s deceased right behind us,” said beachgoer Kim Dugam.

“It’s a little unsettling.”

Now, I’ve surfed in Ocean City before.

Winter brings solid swell, for sure. And I suppose I could endure hooking my leash – however off-putting – on a dead arm as I walked to the shoreline.

But what makes me curious is “beachgoer” Kim Dugam’s remark that a dead body buried in the sand nearby is “a little unsettling.”

How selfish of the deceased. Sorry the whole ex-person-in-the-hole bit interrupted your Pennsylvania sunburn.

To review:

Unsettling: Derek’s intimate description of the contours of a bullfighter.

More than unsettling: lady in hole.

Tell me: what’s the oddest thing you’ve encountered in the sand on the way to a surf?

Wanna be forever beautiful? Stay excited.

Kelly Slater: “How to stay forever young!”

Click to snatch Kelly's anti-ageing secrets!

Never, not even in my kinkiest night thoughts, would I have imagined that one day Kelly Slater, forty-six next birthday, would be a spruiker for Volcom, young folks against the establishment etc.

But, here we are, a brave new world where anything seems possible, probable even.

And, below, is a short piece with Kelly Slater made by Volcom, where Kelly, with his usual transparency, treats the interview as if it’s a therapy session, bringing up the trouble father-son relationship, how he felt compelled to show his mother he wouldn’t bring his own world down with drink, gals that might not have been the right choice and, there, right at the end, his secret to eternal youth.

“You learn to the day you die,” says Kelly. “People ask me about longevity and keeping up with these young guys now and, ultimately, if your mind is not switched on and excited about things you grow old real fast. That’s when you age. Your body starts to go. You stop being excited about some goal to use that ability you have. I think life is over at that point.”

It ain’t bad advice.

Ax Irons
Little Ax Irons, almost seven, lights up the Wavegarden in Austin, Texas. | Photo: @lyndieirons

Watch: Axel Irons at Texas Wave Pool!

The son Andy Irons never got to meet is almost seven! Watch him surf!

Little Ax Irons, the kid his daddy never got to meet, is almost seven can y’believe.

And, if you’ve been following Lyndie Irons’ Instagram since the kid was born you would’ve seen the little man grow into a fabulous facsimile of his Dad. Same golden hair, same wide smile, same dazzling electro-vibration, adored by a hundred uncles and aunties.

Shakes the hell out of me everytime I see the kid.

Andy is really gone?

Anyway, Axel is in Texas and just lit up the NLand Surf Park in Austin and, ooowee, watch the kid nail a wave from out back and into the shore break.

And, yeah, early days, but you like the way he threatens the little tube on the takeoff and then hangs in the pocket for the whole ride?

Does the dynasty continue beyond Uncle Bruce?

Crime: Surf shop in Maui robbed!

Does this mean our dear surf industry is back?

Ain’t life grand? One minute you think your entire business is contracting, vultures circling, being pronounced dead because Amazon killed the surf shop star. The next you are so valuable that thieves are willing to smash their SUV straight through your doors in order to steal GoPros and Billabong bikinis.

You’re back on top!

And how thrilled would you be to be BACK! Let’s read The Maui News!

Carpet stained with tire tracks from a burglary had been replaced before Hi-Tech Surf Sports in Kahului was hit again early Thursday when a sport utility vehicle smashed through glass and knocked a door off its hinges.

GoPro cameras, accessories and drones were taken from cases and 30 women’s swimsuits were stolen in the break-in at 4:42 a.m. at the store at 425 Koloa St., said Kim Ball, president of Hi-Tech Surf Sports.

He said employees were still calculating the loss, which included more than $10,000 in merchandise as well as the damage to the store.

“We have to rebuild the store front,” Ball said. “It’s just pretty discouraging. It’s really disappointing. But in the whole scope of things, nobody died or anything.

“It seems like the burglars target the local businesses.”

Police officers responded to the 5:03 a.m. alarm call to find the door to the store had been rammed in by a vehicle that had fled, said Capt. Ricky Uedoi, commander of the Wailuku Patrol District.

He said police were still investigating. He encouraged anyone who saw something suspicious in the area or who has information about the burglary or suspects to call police at 244-6400.

Ball said store surveillance video shows a sport utility vehicle backing into the store through the rental side entrance, breaking glass and knocking the door off its hinges. Two men with their faces covered entered the store, while someone else is seen driving the vehicle, Ball said.

He said the burglars used a crowbar to break into cases, stealing GoPro cameras and accessories from one case and two GoPro drones from another case.

Ball said he believes Hi-Tech is the only store on Maui selling GoPro drones. If anyone is offered the drones for sale, “they might want to think before purchasing stolen items,” Ball said.

He said video also shows the burglars stealing 30 women’s swimsuits.

“They were in and out in two minutes,” he said.

The burglars had taken a surfboard but left it outside the store, Ball said.

Etc. Etc.

The same surf shop had been hit some nine years earlier too which tells me one thing.

Go GoPro! Go Billabong! Go surf shops! Our stock is on the rise!

Also, which surfboard do you think was stolen but left outside the store? Do you think it might have been a Slater Designs Sci Fi?

Marcus Hutchins (pictured) is always wearing Hurley. Now that is marketing Bitcoin can't buy!
Marcus Hutchins (pictured) is always wearing Hurley. Now that is marketing Bitcoin can't buy!

Breaking: British surf hero jailed!

He saved the world but now the FBI has him locked up in Vegas!

Do you remember the story of that wonderful British surfer who, three months ago, saved the entire world from computer disaster? Catch up here! Well, he was just in Las Vegas for a computer hacker conference and allegedly pulled off his plane by FBI agents. Let’s read The Daily Mail!

The British computer expert who stopped the WannaCry ransomware attack that wreaked havoc around the world and hit NHS computers has been detained by the FBI in Las Vegas, according to reports.

Marcus Hutchins discovered a ‘kill switch’ for the virus after it paralysed thousands of NHS computers and claimed hundreds of thousands of victims around the world – including US courier service FedEx and German rail company Deutsche Bahn – in May.

But now the internet hero, also known as MalwareTech, has been arrested in Nevada, according to Motherboard.

It is unclear what charges – if any – the 23-year-old from Ilfracombe, Devon, now faces.

He was being held at the Henderson Detention Center after being arrested at arrested at Las Vagas’s McCarran International Airport but has since been moved to another facility, a friend has said.

The friend, who also works in the cyber security industry, was attending the Def Con event in the Nevada city with Hutchins.

He said: ‘He checked into his flight and I think he was sitting in the Virgin upper class lounge.

‘He was escorted out of the airport and never made his flight.’

Hutchins was in Las Vegas for the Black Hat and Def Con hacking conferences.

And now Time magazine!

A computer law expert on Friday described the evidence behind the U.S. arrest of a notorious British cybersecurity researcher as being problematic — an indictment so flimsy that it could create a climate of distrust between the U.S. government and the community of software experts.

News of Marcus Hutchins’ arrest in the United States for allegedly creating and selling malicious software able to collect bank account passwords has shocked the cybersecurity community. Many had rallied behind the British hacker, whose quick thinking helped control the spread of the WannaCry ransomware attack that crippled thousands of computers in May.

Attorney Tor Ekeland told The Associated Press that the facts in the indictment fail to show intent.

“This is a very, very problematic prosecution to my mind, and I think it’s bizarre that the United States government has chosen to prosecute somebody who’s arguably their hero in the WannaCry malware attack and potentially saved lives and thousands, hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of dollars over the sale of alleged malware,” Ekeland said. “This is just bizarre, it creates a disincentive for anybody in the information security industry to cooperate with the government.”

Hutchins was detained in Las Vegas as he was returning to his home in southwest Britain from an annual gathering of hackers and information security gurus. A grand jury indictment charged Hutchins with creating and distributing malware known as the Kronos banking Trojan.

“The only money mentioned in this indictment is … for the sale of the software,” he said. “Which again is problematic because in my opinion of this, if the legal theory behind this indictment is correct, well then half of the United States software industry is potentially a bunch of felons.”

Well that doesn’t sound very good. That doesn’t sound very good at all.

But real quick, have you ever been to a computer hacker convention in Las Vegas? Would you like to go with me next year or would we get all our Bitcoin stolen in a digital alley?