Do you like coconuts? John John? Barrel? Well here is the opportunity of a lifetime!
The World Surf League has created a new position and it has your name all over it. No not your name I guess. You are caustic and wry. You are sarcastic and… wry. So not the real you and definitely not your Disqus Account you but maybe the metaphorical “you.”
The job title is really and truly Ambassador of Stoke and Leisure and since I can’t out-write the WSL I won’t even try. Here, in all its glory, is posting.
The World Surf League is searching for someone who is both extremely stoked and leisurely to join us in Hawaii for six weeks.
If you can appreciate the unreal excitement of top-notch athleticism and the simple elegance of a Hawaiian palm at the same time, if you can laugh, adventure, experience, seek, try, celebrate, taste, and take pictures, then, well, keep reading.
What is stoke?
Stoke is the excitement you’ll feel when you:
See the best surfers in the world getting barrelled on surfing’s most legendary wave
Drive around finding the most un-freaking-believable scenery in all of Hawaii
High-five John John Florence
Surf Hawaii for the first time…or surf anywhere for the first time
Walk out of your current job/parents’ basement knowing you’ll soon be in Hawaii for six weeks
What is leisure?
If you stopped reading two lines ago in search of something chiller and more fun to do…well, come back, cause you’d be perfect.
What is the World Surf League and is this real?
Yeah, it’s real. We put on surfing’s Championship Tour, which takes us to Australia, Brazil, Fiji, South Africa, Tahiti, California, and Europe before it ends with a grand finale in Hawaii. Every “winter” we post up on the North Shore of Oahu, the birthplace of professional surfing, for some amazing events. (PS If the waves get big, like REAL BIG, the Pe’ahi Challenge will run at a wave called Jaws over on Maui when the surf is 20ft+. Google it. And if this goes down while you’re there all we can say is – you lucky dog you.)
Role/Duties:
“Hot damn! I am so interested in this job I’ve practically already kicked down my boss’ door to quit but like…what do I have to do?” So glad you’ve asked, friend:
You’ll be the the head of a newly created department within the WSL – the department of Stoke and Leisure – to be run out of our Hawaii office, the WSL event sites, and a prime-time Airbnb where you’ll be in charge of two ultra-important initiatives: being excited about whatever is happening and chillin’ the most.
Requirements:
Stoked. You are required to be stoked about life, surfing, palm trees, açai bowls, pro surfers, coral reefs, crystal clear water, not working for The Man, mind-blowing sunsets, the occasional coconut, and more. If none of those things elicit stoke in you, then you need not apply.
Ability to maximize use of all-access pass at highly-attended event. If you enjoy being a fly on a really, really, REALLY cool wall, you’re gonna love this thing.
Skilled at ‘gramming. We are going to load your Like cannon big time, but it is you who must light the fuse. Waterfalls. Parties. Cliff Jumps. Famous people. Hammocks. Lava. FRUITY DRINKS. Jet ski rides to places you didn’t even know you wanted to go. Brace yourself for plenty of comments along the lines of “I hate you,” sent from within the confines of cubicle walls.
Energy. You’re about to do a bunch of stuff. Unbelievable stuff. You’ll want to amaze your friends, family, grandkids, people you’ve just met, and total strangers with one knockout highlight reel of The Whole Thing. Six weeks in three minutes. We’ll hook you up with lots of hi-res footage, music, and a world-class editor-guru, but the main ingredient will be your experiences. So nap on the plane, hit the ground running, and don’t stop ’til December 20.
Benefits:
Cash
Hawaii
Unlimited coconuts
And more!
And if everything goes horribly wrong, there’s always the Panic Room!
“FRUITY DRINKS” . . . probably one of the dorkiest things I’ve ever read.
You can’t prove that you can’t prove a negative.
I was going to apply, but then I heard they were going to call the winner a stokes person.
Don’t you mean they’d call the loser a stokes person? The real winner would be the WSL unpaid intern assigned to that loser.
Just imagining two impossibly bored millennials staring at their phones while onshore winds blast the palm trees in the background.
Yeah, those lazy bastards didn’t even learn to spell, let alone write.
The great thing about that photo with JJF, Kelly and the bellyman:
It’s P5 (Posto 5) / Baixio / Sorriso at Copacabana Beach, in front of my street Xavier da Silveira.
ps: I’m not the belly guy!!!!
My avatar proof that!!!
Proooooove it
It reads old tryin’ super hard to be young and cool, I think.
I won’t get out of bed in the morning for less than three throaty barrels and a pineapple dacquiri. Is that how you spell dacquiri?
Bring back Chelsea Cannell.
probably ice these days
Anyone who has surfed long enough knows that stoke is something you push deep down inside yourself like emotional trauma.
Word is bond, mofo.
So they are replacing Barton Lynch heh?
Don’t bother. Wsl already got someone in mind.
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
I am interested in the post, but before I submit my application I would like further details regarding point 5.3: ‘loading my like cannon’.
Are we talking sexual arousal, hash/crack pipe or will I be working as a drug mule?
I can provide references.
tweak that cover letter appropriately
Obviously. Wouldn’t want to send off something half baked. Or yes
Being a surfer is more about Stoke Containment
Michael Kocher, this is your second chance!
He can’t hear you. He’s dead.
so are you
Sorry. Couldn’t hear you. Did you say something?
aha! I knew it
Man, you lawyered the shit out of him. The prosecution rests your honour.
In other words, Hawaiians need not apply.
In other words, surfers need not apply!
They should get Eduardo Martins to do the instagrams remotely and just buy a chocolate lab to run around licking everybody.
Point me towards the millennial that wrote this. I must disavow my lifestyle of nonviolence and strike them down.