"Ok team... squirt on three. Except you Rosie."
"Ok team... squirt on three. Except you Rosie."

WSL vocabulary: The rise of “squirt!”

squirty, squirted, squirter, squirting... it's professional surfing's word du jour!

I didn’t get the opportunity to watch much of the Hurley Pro webcast, seeing that I was standing in the dirt with the people and their hungry children, but when I did I was guaranteed to hear one word.

Squirt!

And guaranteed to hear it in all of its many splendored grammatical forms.

“Barton, what did you think of that ride?”

“It was squirtingly good, mate!”

“He squirted over the section…”

“Squirting down the line…”

“Squirts into the flats…”

“That board looks like a real squirter…”

“He was going for something a little more squirty…”

Etc. Etc. Etc.

I could go on all day but what wonderful rehabilitation Ron, Turps, Pete, Pottz n The Razz have wrought. Since 2006 the word “squirt” had come to mean two things and two things only. A fizzy, fruity soda pop (for anyone over 40) and female sexual sexual ejaculation (for anyone under 50).

Now it is also a multi-use surfing verb, adjective, adverb and maybe even pronoun. Let’s go squirting everyone!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
45 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
John Voris
John Voris
9 years ago

Squirted…better than “tore the bag” which still tops the list of over-used flexi-verbs.

Steezus Christ
Steezus Christ
9 years ago

Just me or does Rosie look extremely uncomfortable

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
9 years ago

Welcome to the new Jeep WSL Men’s Championship Tour brought to you by Squirt…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

Speaking of squirt, I bet there was more than one meal in Yemen that gave you the squirts.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

There wasn’t! It was honestly the best, cleanest food I have ever had in my life.

Otto
Otto
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Dammit! My plan back-fired.
Chapter Ate was uneventful.

Kennypowersmullet
Kennypowersmullet
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

when do we get the next installment?

i swear its the best thing you’ve written.

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Chas squirted out this article.

Tom
Tom
9 years ago

How many “squirting” down the line barrels are going to be on at Kelly’s event? I guess the chosen few are getting private jets into Lemore! Maybe they will be squirting out of their asses if the bacteria count is high enough, ruining their end of year WSL run!! Conspiracy or one-upmanship by Kelly?
When is the event? Does anyone know?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Tomorrow damn it. I tried my everything to go.

Tom
Tom
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

really – live on WSL there is no mention I don’t think??

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Tom

It true. And not live. Sons of bitches.

Tom
Tom
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

So it will be edited to the shit and we wont really know how good it is!! Very very clever. They will make the waves 12 min period look like a 16 sec ground swell

channelbottom
channelbottom
9 years ago

I like Turps’ shirt. Nice colours.
Squirty kinda colours.

Now that we’ve reached Peak Squirt, whadda you think BL’s next competition-fuelled repetitive ejaculation will be?

My money is on “Antidisestablishmentarianism”.

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago

Turpel and Pottz are checking each other. Who know what happen with all that time shared at the booth.
Indeed a good pic.

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

Go three tabs. Mute the porn and surfing. Turn up the third tab, women’s tennis.

Doots on Fire
Doots on Fire
9 years ago

That’s the beauty of the internet. Choose your own adventure.

cosmic carl
cosmic carl
9 years ago

During one of the comps last year Pottz kept using the word “penetration” hehehehehehe

Dooma
Dooma
9 years ago

Reckon Ross Williams resting bitch face is because he misses the gang or because the WSL haven’t picked his boy for the win this year and want to send it to South Africa?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  Dooma

This is worth a whole story.

david fffff
david fffff
9 years ago

Will Google searches for squirt start bringing up the WSL and Redtube videos? That would be fucking wonderful. Remember during the 2012 elections when googling “Santorum” brought up ‘A mix of fecal matter and semen’ ??? This is exactly what the WSL needs!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
9 years ago

Imagine the hose on Rosie. What a whopper.

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago

Squirt or not, I can only think of Pete’s and Rosie’s expression and theyr pisition on the pic above.

Manuka
Manuka
9 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

Looking closer, isn’t Ross checking her boobs?
The whole scene could have ended in a gang bang.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago

Language is but one means of oppressing the people.

ox-head
ox-head
9 years ago

reminds me of mctavish’ old “streaks and slugs” article, where a streak was a hawaiian semi-gun and a slug was a wide little stubbie. wonder what a squirt would be?

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

This is what happens when you invite Laird to a WSL Tour event.

Wardo's PO
Wardo's PO
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I Cytherea what you did there.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I saw that. I assumed it was to promote a surf movie, but then he said he watched Strider “grow up over the years”. Now, I’m questioning everything.

Otto
Otto
9 years ago

I’m surprised Laird’s publicist would let him get anywhere near a live mic.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
9 years ago
Reply to  Otto

he did say he’ll try anything. upside down, backwards and eyes closed. he’s a keeper.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
9 years ago

I mean,I know if I had to sit in a booth that long I’d be watching a lot of porn, just to stay occupied. It’s “lawyers” quinoa vs. fanning, I’d be searching squirt too.

J H
J H
9 years ago

Between “squirting” and Barton going “inside/outside” a million times I thought I was on Pornhub.

Matt Warshaw
Matt Warshaw
9 years ago
Reply to  J H

No shame in being a two-browser-window fan on contest day

Doots on Fire
Doots on Fire
9 years ago
Reply to  Matt Warshaw

wsl commentary with pornhub video… the internet can provide for all fetishes.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
9 years ago
Reply to  Matt Warshaw

Some blowing between squirts? This could revolutionise the sport!

J H
J H
9 years ago
Reply to  Matt Warshaw

I just need to make sure that I don’t get them confused!

Johnny Utah
Johnny Utah
9 years ago
Reply to  Matt Warshaw

Shame starts to anchor in at 12 windows for me

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
9 years ago
Reply to  J H

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…. Hahahahahah

J H
J H
9 years ago

Love me some Bobby and his wantin’ to be tennis tour!!!

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
9 years ago
Reply to  J H

I recon the WSL staff made a bet on who could squirt squirt the most times on the webcast.


45
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x