Should you be on an asymmetrical board? Should we
all be?
Swell arrived in southern California yesterday
for the first time in 1037 days and crowds descended upon my local
breaks like a rabid horde. Men drooling and jabbering while
forgetting how to parallel park. Women decapitating each other with
9 foot longboards. It was madness. Out of control. But I had a job
to do and neither cockamamie Jeep Patriot nor fiberglass guillotine
could stop me.
I had to properly gauge the value of asymmetrical surfboards for
all of humanity.
Around a month ago, maybe even more, David Lee Scales of
SurfSplendor fame and I met in San Clemente at Album Surf for our
regular chat. Album was one of the finer surf
shops/shaping arenas that I have ever seen. Very well
appointed and worth your stopping by.
In any case, Album does many asymmetrical boards and had never
quite understood the concept thinking the boards were meant to go
right or go left. Matt, Album’s owner/operator gently set me
straight. You can listen here or let me
quickly summarize. Asymmetrical boards are shaped around the idea
that surfers don’t surf the same frontside as they do backside.
Frontside has toes facing the wave. Backside has heels. I am a
regular footed man so the right rail is longer and the right side
also has one giant twin fin. The left rail is shorter and the left
side has a mini quad set up.
Very interesting but would it work?
I surfed it very often in tiny waves, having much fun but not
being able to gauge it properly. It felt both looser (going right)
and stiffer (going left) and I thought I might really like it…
maybe.
And then 1239 days later swell hit and I risked life and limb
for an accurate assessment.
I paddled around loosened funboards, careening though the
whitewash like dumb bombs. I sat in a pack of 346 hungry souls. And
I somehow got a wave. And here is what I think. The way the
asymmetrical board is built makes it virtually impossible to not
have your back foot right in the sweetspot over the fins. I didn’t
fully realize how much this matters until I was wrap-around carving
like I’ve never wrap-around carved before. The board… responded.
And responded beyond my ability. Going backside it felt like it
locked in the pocket without even a stray pump. Just sliding down
and straight in and fast.
It was almost too much fun and now I am confused. Are these
feelings I’m having wrong? These emotions impure? No one but no one
had an asymmetrical board but me and none of us were surfing
pumping Snapper. We were surfing a high tide bogged long interval
swell. Perfect for racing and bobbing and weaving. No?
Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m a dirty dirty bad boy.
In the meantime, I am getting another asymmetrical to try out
because it feels like the key to me getting on the WQS as a
40-year-old man. The feel-good story of the decade!
More to come.
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Meet: Ozzie Wright’s Dazzling
Bro-in-Law!
By Derek Rielly
Jonathan Zawada's grahic design changed surf
forever…
In the summer of 2003, I launched a surfing
magazine with a friend. Beyond a desire to swim in
the rivers of advertising revenue that flowed at the time, we had
little idea of how the magazine should present.
Would it be the Vanity Fair of surf? Would it seek the
tone of National Enquirer (actually, that’d come a dozen
years later with BeachGrit)?
Our direction, ultimately, was decided not by focus group or
editor, but by our choice of art director, a twenty-two-year-artist
called Jon Zawada. Riding on his fantastic distortionist design,
the magazine became the darling of the burgeoning hipster movement
and advertising meetings were generally concluded with the line,
“We’re moving all our ad-spend to you and Monster
Children.”
Glory days, as they say.
Jon, meanwhile, became an in-demand artist with worldwide reach,
commercially and exhibiting. German motor cars (BMW), high-end
fashion labels (Bassike), surf filmmakers (Kai Neville’s Lost
Atlas) and music labels (Modular) all begged for his touch.
Note: Inspect Jon’s hat for New Era. Free Dumb. Perhaps Jon
should’ve repurposed for the Trump campaign?
Four years go, the Los Angeles art gallery Prism sponsored Jon,
who is thirty-five years old, and his wife Annie, the sister of
Ozzie Wright, to live and create in LA. One of Jon’s first
assignments was to visit a Malibu billionaire to discuss, and then
design, a tattoo.”Once I have this on my skin you and I will be
linked forever,” the billionaire told Jon.
Recently, Jon, and his wife Annie, released a furniture
collection. “I’ve made a lot of furniture for giant mansions in the
hills,” he says. Side tables cost three-thousand dollars, coffee
tables, nine-thousand dollars and rugs six thousand dollars.
(Available at Just One Eye, a “luxury boutique” on Romaine St, Los
Angeles.)
“A lot of money for us, but not a lot of money for them.
Everybody’s happy,” says Jon.
Why you should you care about Jon’s art?
Because his work immerses us in substance, originality and is
dazzlingly charismatic. Like the artist himself.
BeachGrit: First, let’s play on a little of your surf
experience. One of your first jobs was building
websites.
Jon: I actually went to Tavarua to set up one of the early live
streams for the Quiksilver Pro. I had to try and get satellite
video streaming from the little tower out on a reef. At times it
was harrowing. I went for swim off the back of the boat at
Cloudbreak, got swept in the lineup and was repeatedly annihilated.
I was completely out of my depth. Totally fine for doing the task
but not for being on an island with a bunch of surfers.
How would you describe that year of designing Stab? It
propelled us, straight away, into a realm of hipness that, perhaps,
we didn’t deserve.
Jon: What I liked the most, and it’s what attracted me to music
jobs even though I can’t play an instrument, and I can’t surf, is I
find everything inherently interesting. The mystery about it all
meant I could be a little more objective and have a different view
on it. I didn’t carry any baggage on the way things should be over
the way things should look. My magazine context was imported
fashion magazine and I bounced that out into Stab. If I
was a surfer, and had been reading surf mags since I was a kid, I’d
be in that little funnel.
And, oh, how you smashed the rules of readability,
sensible use of typography etc.
Jon: Yes! I tried! I tried to! Obviously there were times when I
had so much to learn, you guys telling me what the interesting part
of a photo was. I have no idea looking a wave what you think is
interesting. I can tell what I think compositional, although
actually cropping out the most important part of the photo to the
surfer. What I found challenging was, how do I get something that I
find rewarding too?
How does being an artist in LA differ to
Sydney?
Jon: Everybody is really excited to do things here. There’s not
that competitive nature that there is in Australia where people are
wary of working with everybody else. Because there are so few
opportunities in Australia you have to hold it with two hands and
not share it. Here, everybody’s doing something, everybody wants to
work with you and work together on stuff. It’s that awesome
American optimism. It’s a good offset to my innate extreme
pessimism. It takes me to a nice happy point. What also helps is we
haven’t slid into the cultural echo chamber that we were probably
in in Sydney. Our friends are more varied and what they do is
widespread.
From what well does your inspiration spring
from?
Jon: Looking back, the natural aspects of mathematics and
science and physics, the things that I gravitate towards. If I’ve
got any downtime or if I’m reading, that’s what I focus on and
absorb. It’s a constant push-and-pull, the maths, and being pulled
towards stuff that’s a natural beauty, finding what’s amazing in
stones and plants and water and landscapes. Stuff that’s very
outside me. Two extremes, one super internal, maths, the other
super external, the natural world.
Album covers were your thing years back, but you stepped
away from music until recently. Why?
Jon: I didn’t really like the whole system, the way it operated
ethically. I liked talking to musicians and bouncing ideas back and
forth with interesting and nice people. The stuff I didn’t like
were musicians being signed really young, having their egos blown
up and if the album didn’t do so good, or the second album, all the
people that hd been around them and inflated them and changed the
way they viewed the world… drastically… well, they suddenly
disappeared. Kids came out of school, got a record deal, didn’t
learn how to operate in the world or how to make compromises, were
told everything they did was brilliant and as soon as something
didn’t work out for the record label, everybody would turn their
backs. If they had personal problems or trouble that couldn’t be
solved by placating their egos, nobody was there to help them. Even
though that same group of people pulled them away from their
friends and family when they blew up.
And, now, in the interim, the music industry has collapsed. A lot
of the bad stuff has gone, musicians have to do a lot more for
themselves and it facilitates a nicer, more interesting work
arrangement.
Do you examine what is called surf art?
Jon: Not heaps, but there is one guy I follow. Thomas Lynch III
does amazing airbrushed psychedelic space waves and sunsets with
multiple plants over a perfect tube. I love that stuff, outside of
that, I don’t seek much of it out. Annie’s brother, being a
professional surfer, whenever we introduce ourselves and they say,
I’m a surfer, we mention Annie’s brother and they all know who he
is. It’s always a good ice breaker.
And you branded the Kai Neville film Lost Atlas, a
collaboration I believe that caught Mr Neville at the apex of his
game.
Jon: For Lost Atlas, I was completely unaware of who any of the
people were in it and was able to treat it with a level of distance
which, for me, was super beneficial. If I’m too close to something,
or I know too much, I can get quite nervous about taking chances or
not trying to dig into some aspect that I think is interesting. I
was keen on a bunch of other stuff at the time, graphic poster
stuff. As a result, when I did all the art work I did what I wanted
to do. It was the same with Stab. In retrospect, and deep,
deep down, at the time I wished I was doing some art-film poster in
the seventies instead of DVD package for surf film in the
two-thousands. It all becomes more interesting as a result. Digging
for how I can get what I want out of it and ending up in a unique
space.
There is finnnnnnnnally surf in southern
California and it has basically been 876 days since the last swell.
Panic is in the air as grown men stumble over their children and
grown women accidentally kick their dogs as they rush out the door
shouting, “Wait! Do I use warm water or cool water wax?”
I didn’t know either so I logged on to Surfline to
check water temperature but got distracted by the website being
wrapped, top to bottom, with Michelob Ultra branding. The beer of
the bourgeoisie.
Beergeoisie.
And many videos feat. Seabass Zietz all with less than 500
views. Would you like to watch one?
A bald-faced attempt to appeal to The People™ if I’ve ever seen
one. Parents not making enough money, boy orphaned, getting kicked
while down, getting shouted at, whilst in tube, by a beyond
ecstatic Pete Mel… etc.
A tough looking life but let’s be honest. Let’s be real
honest. The Garden Isle is a land of endless bounty and Seabass
Zietz lives a life of eternal privilege.
But maybe I’ve been too hard on Michelob Ultra. Maybe it really
is a beer of the people too. So let’s watch the people drink and
review.
I guess I’ve been too hard.
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Moneyball: Gabriel or John to Win
France!
By Derek Rielly
Gabriel, almost unbeatable at Hossegor. John John
in outrageous form.
I love a little Moneyball. Throw the stats into
the machine, spit out a winner. Forget reputations. Forget who’s
got the big-money stickers wrapped around their beaks.
Do you remember last month when the thirty-something school
teacher Balyn McDonald predicted the outcome of Trestles via
the cold machinery of statistics. Filipe and Mick all day, he
said.
One out of two ain’t bad.
Tomoz, or maybe later today, the Quiksilver Pro is going to
light up on Hossegor’s always difficult to predict sandbars. Who’s
going to win?
Let’s roll some of Bal’s numbers.
Winners
Gabriel Medina has entered the contest six times for
four finals, two wins. His worst result is a fifth. In 2010, he won
the King of the Groms there with a perfect heat score. “It’s his
contest,” says Balyn.
John John Florence is on top, or close to top, of all
the relevant categories: average event heat score, best results in
peaks and over the last two contests he’s been averaging better
than sixteen points per heat, the best on tour.
Filipe Toledo. Balyn ran the numbers of what he calls
his “form column”, how each surfers last three events compare to
their career heat average. Jordy swings in at ninth, but is
averaging a full-point better than his career heat score. Mick is
slightly lower than usual. But Filipe. He’s hitting 15.61 over a
career average of 12.92. Two wins out of the last three events.
Who to avoid
Joel Parkinson averages a paltry 9.82 over the past
three years. “And his form lately has been pretty awful,” says Bal.
“He’s averaging 11.38, one-and-a-half points below his career
average. He’s in a slump. They reckon he’s going to run again next
year but the numbers tell a different story. He doesn’t seem
psyched.”
Bede Durbidge. Two finals out of eleven events but also
three last-place 33rds and two 25ths. Five events without a heat
win. Too hot to touch.
Wiggolly Dantas. “Hasn’t won a heat here in his
two years on tour. Has the second-worst average heat score or
the event over his four heats (9.57).”
Dark Horse
Kolohe Andino. Has the equal second-best average event
placing in France. Gabriel wins, averaging second, but John and
Kolohe both average a (non-existent) seventh placing. Keanu Asing
is in there too, but with only two events there, and his average is
skewed by last year’s win.
And really don’t touch
The beautiful, but sadly can’t-win-a-damn-thing, Miguel Pupo.
One heat win out of six and the lowest average heat score from the
last three events.
Jeremy Flores' defamation suit against Sea Shep's
Paul Watson thrown out by French court…
On Monday, the Reunion Island born-surfer Jeremy
Flores lost a defamation suit he’d brought against Sea
Shep’s Paul Watson. The sixty-six-year-old environmental activist
had published a screed that accused Jeremy and the French
government of being partly responsible for the spike in shark
attacks there.
Let’s back track a little.
You sure as hell don’t need me to remind you of Reunion
Island’s sudden, disastrous relationship with the
anything-but-rare bull shark.
Like nearby Madagascar, sharks had always been a bit of a thing.
If you surfed there, you played your cards straight: no surfing
after rain or in dirty water or river mouths, avoid the east coast,
dusk, dawn. Hardly the science of rocketry.
In 2007 a marine park was created, shark fishing was
banned, and…boom…Reunion suddenly become the worst place
in the world to jump into the ocean. Eighteen attacks in five
years. Eight fatals. A little island of 970 square miles
responsible for almost a fifth of the world’s attacks.
Jeremy also advocated a return to the fishing of bull sharks in
the reserve.
Kelly Slater agreed.
“There is a clear imbalance in the ocean there,” he said.
Paul Watson, a founder of Greenpeace but famous for its offshoot
Sea Shepherd whose photogenic attacks on Japanese whalers in the
Southern Ocean made it the darling of animal lovers, stepped in,
convinced Kelly to change his mind and wrote the accusatory piece
(Kelly Slater is not an enemy of the
sharks) that included:
From our point of view the cause of these frequent attacks
is the culling itself and thus Flores and the government of France
are very much complicit in the circumstances that have seen 20
attacks since 2011 of which 8 attacks were fatal.
Pretty fucken wild, no?
In an Australian court Watson would’ve been hung out to dry. The
French court, however, ruled that “there is no direct
responsibility between Jeremy Flores and the shark attacks but
merely a debate between the association and the surfer about the
causes of these attacks.”
Jeremy had to pay a thousand euros in legal costs to Sea
Shepherd who responded to the judgement by saying, “Justice seems
to support scientific advice rather than controversial advice.”
Jeremy’s response was eloquent.
I have read a lot of things over the last few days following
the judgment of the dax court, which considered that the words
against me by Paul Watson and sea shepherd were not
defamatory.
No media has asked me about the subject while the other
party has spoken, and I would like to take the floor here to
clarify and respond to all those who criticize me without knowing
the reality of the facts.
This is the first and last time I speak on this
subject.
Those who want it can continue to mock and attack
me.
Let them know, however, that what Paul Watson and sea
shepherd say about me is completely wrong. I’m not a shark killer. I’ve never spoken for a shark slaughter. I grew up in the ocean. I’m an ocean lover.
Although I do not approve of their methods, I have never
publicly accused Paul Watson and Sea Shepherd of anything and I
have never held words that can be considered personal attacks
against them.
Why did I file a libel suit against Sea Shepherd?
Because I could not continue to suffer very serious false
accusations, completely contrary to what I am and what I believe
in. I would point out that I did not press charges to condemn
the actions of Sea Shepherd. But good for his leaders to stop
calomnier me and spread lies about my person.
In February, I posted on social networks a message of
support to the family of Alexander Naussac, after his death as a
result of his attack on a spot of the meeting. Kelly Slater stands by commenting on my message. He writes for
shark regulation at the meeting. Which is controversial.
Paul Watson says in his editorial that I was the one who
inspired Kelly Slater to write this post and take a stand for shark
slaughter. Frankly, Kelly didn’t need me to figure out what’s been
going on at the meeting for years.
Contrary to what Paul Watson says, I’ve never touched a
shark in my life and I’ve never raised money for shark slaughter.
This is all wrong. In recent years, I have always said that a
solution must be sought to find a balance between men and the
marine world. Nothing else.
How could I stay without doing anything about such false
accusations? Given that I am still beset by messages of insults and
hatred by people who do not know me and who accuse me of the worst
things.
So I decided to press charges against my person so I
wouldn’t be tainted by these slanderous accusations.
I have asked for financial compensation with the sole
objective of putting the funds in full to Marine Environmental
Protection Associations at the meeting.
I didn’t get justice to make money, it’s obvious. I
love my island. I lost friends, brothers.
As you know, I was rejected by the Dax court a few days ago,
and sentenced to pay 1.000 € of justice to Sea Shepherd. I
respect justice and I will therefore respect this decision. I
have no regrets except for not being heard. I simply note that
there are untouchable people.
Meanwhile, on Reunion, surfers cluster around a couple of small
beaches with nets, surfing banned elsewhere.