Professional surfing gets caught in the snare!
If you are even only semi-literate you are aware that the president of the United States, Donald John Trump, is being investigated for possible collusion with Russia during the 2017 election. Those on the left think that the Trump campaign, alongside Russian operatives, infiltrated less intelligent Americans’ Facebook accounts and made them believe bad things about Donald Trump’s opponent Hillary Rodham Clinton. Those on the right believe it is all a #witchhunt and #fakenews in order to explain away what should have been a sure victory for #crookedhillary.
Whew!
Part of the investigation centers around a meeting that the president’s son, Donald John Trump Jr., had with a group of Russians in the Trump Tower including a woman named Natalia V. Veselnitskaya who was reported to have “dirt” on Hillary Clinton.
Well it was revealed yesterday’s New York Times that Ms. Veselnitskaya instead brought alleged dirt on American investors the Ziff Brothers, one of whom owns the WSL.
That’s right! The World Surf League right in the middle-ish of wild international intrigue!
I’ve read the NYT story three times now and get more confused each. I can’t tell what the Ziff brothers were alleged to have done nor why it would matter to the Trump campaign but I am only semi-literate. You should take a crack at it here.
I wasn’t there, anyhow, in the Trump Tower and don’t understand the story but I have some thoughts about how the conversation went down. Here is a transcript.
Veselnitskaya: Spasiba for coming. I have some very interesting for you.
Trump Jr.: Shoot, babe.
Veselnitskaya: There is Democrat donor, da? Who has… problem. Problem can be exploited.
Trump Jr.: Hit me.
Veselnitskaya: There is Brothers Ziff and one brothers Ziff, Dirk, owns The World Surf League…
Trump Jr.: Derek?
Veselnitskaya: (Consultes notes) Nyet. Dirk. Diiirk.
Trump Jr.: Got it.
Veselnitskaya: And this World Surf League…
Trump Jr.: (interrupts) There is a World Surf League? It sounds globalist. Is America getting a good deal being part of this league?
Veselnitskaya: (consultes notes) Nyet. The top ranked surfer is Hawaiian. The top ranked surfer American is Kolohe Andino and he is number 8 in the world.
Trump Jr.: Kolohe? That doesn’t sound American.
Veselnitskaya: Da but he looks.
Trump Jr.: Is his dad… black?
Veselnitskaya: (consultes notes) Nyet. His name is Dino.
Trump Jr.: Dino Andino? Is he Mexican?
Veselnitskaya: (consultes notes) Nyet. From Lithuania.
Trump Jr.: Well he doesn’t seem American at all. Who is below Kolohe?
Veselnitskaya: (consultes notes) Number 20 is Kanoa Igarashi…
Trump Jr.: (interrupts) is this a joke? A fucking joke? Kanoa Igarashi? I’m telling my dad to get America out of this bad deal right away. Kolohe Andino and Kanoa Igarashi. This is worse than NAFTA… etc. etc. etc.
And then they probably talked about Kelly’s Surf Ranch and a bunch of other stuff.
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This is why Brett Simpson needs to be back on the tour.
Rhetorically! It’s soooo good! Like Mullet I enjoyed every minute.
Kaos’ dome of silence!
How good is Ozark?
Chas it’s so good that I’m now using my wife’s hair salon to wash cartel money. I’m hopeful that I can work my way up to mule and then hitman. Fingers crossed. That Chapo guy seems cool….
Killer!!
How fucking scared does Little Donald look of that dolphin.
To his credit, that dolphin has that “bad seed” ludes loosed look.
That’s because he’s used to seeing animals through a rifle scope from hundreds of metres away.
He’s probably actually not scared, but experiencing a rush of excitement knowing that he’s about to slit the dolphin open with that knife he’s holding, and giggle while listening to it squeal while dying in horrific pain. He’ll doubtlessly have a private Insty feed of the event.
Might be wrong but he looks stok-ed. Yew, dolphin, shakas. And need of a post-frolick snack. That dolphin looks naive and juicy. Fin soup
He’s wondering how it will look in his trophy room.
The walls at porta’s house are stuffed with jerseys
The
Fincham
Pool
Hes the wozniak of wavepools
Was thinking Antonio Meucci but Wozniak is far more contemporary
I am going to do a whole story about this right here. Thank you.
I’m sure its unravelling as we speak
Are you the Manfinchiam Candidate?
I suggested you Trump it but geez. We need Diiiiirk’s $ to prop up the 2018 revamped surfing world tour in Indo
Ziff will be seeking asylum in Siberia!
Wait, Lithuanian? I thought Italian?
You have inbadvertantly signed on as a pawn BG. We will all have to testify. Might I suggest – Hello Mr Mueller what a lovely choice of tie
I’m showing up to the Grand Jury wearing my “Kill a Commie for Mommy” t-shirt. Except…I don’t know who the real Commies are these days.
Trump Jr.: we’re going to need media help… is there a Breitbart like surf publisher?
Veselnitskaya: da… (smiling) website call BeachGrit…