Live: Jaws is running now!

A big wave event!

Stop what you are doing and come log on to the World Surf League’s exclusive live broadcast of Peah’i. It is a magnificent show of nature and already one ski has been pitched onto the rocks. Have you ever drowned a ski? Or scuttled a boat?

Did you collect a fine insurance settlement?

Watch Jaws now!

Click here but keep comments open so we can talk about it n stuff.

HERE!

P.S. The first heat features 2 x winner Jimel Kimmel, Billy Kemper, Ian Gouveia, Grant Twiggy, Cristiano Ronaldo, Francisco Giant, Koa Rothman and Mark Healey.

Who yo got?

But wait… I’m not done with you yet. Do you call it Peah’i? Or do you call it Jaws?

I call it Jaws. But I am a white man. Are you?

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SkepticallyOptimistic777
SkepticallyOptimistic777
8 years ago

Ian Walsh just got the best barrel ever paddled at Jaws…

Albert Munz
Albert Munz
8 years ago

40 foot faces. Large

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago

Chas, you would of sported a 225 hotel room near the harbor for Rory l, right? Check out his sad stab commentary of having to stay in a hostel. I feel bad for him.

twinfin
twinfin
8 years ago

Chas, you need to get a life.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  twinfin

Chas gets life by stealing souls. You best be careful, you got one fin to give twin.

Antipodes
Antipodes
8 years ago

Big wave surfing seems to be a combination of long periods of interminable boredom punctuated by moments of terror.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Antipodes

Like Anaesthetics (Anaesthesiology).

Antipodes
Antipodes
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Nothing like cheating death. With other peoples lives.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

I’m too busy watching women’s golf.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I dig the Korean chicks too

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

Not advocating communism but the busty boobies genes in the Asiatics musta communed in Korea(s) very early regional settlement, and left the others flat out of luck. Maybe it’s the BBQ.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Eh? Some them hotties bud

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

Yes. With the biggest tits in the land. Which is great. For ALL.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Oh, gotcha. Big tits good. Remember though these women earn more in an hour then we earn in a year

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

remember what?

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Hit white ball, thousand bucks

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

I hear the price has gone up on the inflation vest

sorry my bad

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

At Noosa they’re buying them to reduce pain and less oxygen via Hawaiian hold downs for being an idiot

Quik are onto a money earner for once

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Quik can’t suffer doubts of their high. How can you sell Stay High if you keep prices low. Stay Sly Quik.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Couldn’t get past their disclaimer. I’m a use this being towed in 4ft Snapper and I’m just not surf fit, and lazy. And it’s red, gonna make me look freakin cool in the car park, What Quik think average joe gonna be use this for? Sunday arvo Jaws session? Sheesh

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

Quik never gets as far as “for”.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Cynicism causes heart disease, chill
Bong ‘surfwear’ way, way worse. You could not pay me, you could not pay me, to paddle out my local 8-10ft fitted in Bong High Inflatable. It’d fail on the paddle out, and my mates couldn’t stop laughing to breathe

Waiting for Stab Badverterial

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

Quik knows sin-a-sins-him. Quik is expecting it to be used in a wave pool. There will be some wearers who stand on the wave pool bottom, on their tippy toes, to read the manufacturer’s fabric care and operating instructions patched to the inner left side of the vest. Quik will be most pleased.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Also hadn’t considered ‘concerned mum’ market. Talk about front of the bus, jeez scar a grommet for life shit

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

As soon as I hit the word bus, my mind’s eye was astonished, and not surprised picturing longtom driving his bus being ever super safe with a Quik vest on.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Oh c’mon, Longtom maybe a half-assed bus driver, but you know he’s hitting Lennox without a fucking lifevest. Fuck. I’m even upvoting myself, unprecedented

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks
Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Uh huh

Yeah but nah

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago

It’s called Jaws and Nah-Zar.

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
8 years ago

At what point do they declare the horse dead?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

Once the rat dances, it’s back on.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Once Chas finishes flogging the dolphin.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

2017 Cetacean Wanking Pro – IT’S ON!

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

potential to be bigger than pony wanking

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

bigger than Laird

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

stop with the Lil’ pony wanking , the rainbow men will like you ,hmmm even love you , if you promise a damn good wanking!

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Could be the Inertia’s chance to publish a real cetacean article.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Whip it. Whip it good.

(Can’t decide which is most appropriate dolphin flogging image…)

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

https://m.youtube.com/watch…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

I call it whatever I like from my lounge room chair. No fucking way am I ever going to be paddling into any of those mofos.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago

Do you care? Does anyone care? It seems like no one cares….

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

There’s a group of about 20-30 people who care, and none of them are sitting watching it on a screen and feeling like they should care but wondering what there is to care about.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago

I’m digging it. Respect for Tom Lowe. Just gut up. Wipes out worse even then even Porcello. Hope they replay that killer wipeout, haven’t seen it yet. Falls in worst possible place at Jaws possible on beast, with hello 3 or 4 sets behind

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  Jocks

That Rothman wipeout was pretty brutal…not only the guilotine but the suck over the falls. Full props to him.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Not sure what Koa was thinkin there. Um, hello pindrop?

twinfin
twinfin
8 years ago

Chaz, how did you escape from the Inertia?

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
8 years ago
Reply to  twinfin

It’s run by Zach Weisberg, mate. Not Joseph Fritzl.

And I happen to like writing for The Inertia.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Your editorial meetings must be so uplifting.

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I’m a lone wolf.

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I just opened it up. A lot of dudes are getting water up their noses right now. I’m not sure I have the patience for the lulls and the falling.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Do not care in the fuckin slightest.

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I care! My boy Will insisted on the lefts for which he scorned by the judges. Bastards!

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
8 years ago

Hopefully Ronaldo does well. BWT fantasy hasn’t looked sharp for me since Kia Lenny won something.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago

I’m more of a Leo Messi fan myself.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

I too am a white man. I call it Jah’s. I like reggae music and visited Jamaica once.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

This is very funny and even more funny because isn’t Haiku all Jah’d out? I have only been thrice but remember many greens, yellows, reds. Bob Marleys. Etc.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Yah Mon! Jah prose you scribed ’bout Jah Pros …..rastafari.

pretty sure the Lillikoi Grill shuttered their doors cause they named one of their pizzas the Haiku Rasta.

wincy
wincy
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Surely John Johns destiny could win this


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