And John John steals Kolohe's JuJu! Find out how! It's faintly interesting!
You might’ve noticed that we stopped posting #tournotes over the past few months.
What can I say?
The magic and romance had gone and that gorgeous something that defined Peter King’s behind-the-scenes mini-documentaries had descended into a series of predictable tropes.
This post-Portugal episode, built around locker room trash talk, looks at the viewer challengingly. The dialogue is spirited and faintly interesting.
Between Kolohe Andino and Mick Fanning,
Kolohe: Mick takes all my waves. Bullies me.
Mick: He deserves it. He’s a pest.
Between Kolohe and John John .
John: (How do you spell Kolohe?) C-H-L-O-E! You should ride that board a little more. Get used to it a little more.
Kolohe: I’m pretty sure you fell three times out there.
Between John’s coach Ross Williams and John John.
John: Ross is so flamboyant I don’t need to put colour in my boards.
Ross: (When John claims to’ve beaten Ross in a game) Chronic liar. Right here.
John John rubs Kolohe’s board.
John: I took the good juju out of his board right there. Now I have it.
And so forth.
It ain’t Floyd Mayweather (“When I retire, I’ll get Ricky Hatton to wash my clothes and cut my lawn and buckle my shoes. Ricky Hatton ain’t nothing but a fat man. I’m going to punch him in his beer belly. He ain’t good enough to be my sparring partner”) but it ain’t bad.
Murder a couple of minutes of your life.
Mick: “I took Chas’ JewJew and he turned gentile.”
Sounds great – wonder how Porte sets the scale for the day – biggest skid mark obviously.
Surely Fox will be back live for this
OK Dez – we 6 weeks out from Pipe what can we dig up on new revamped tour 2018?
Doherty keeps dropping shit like this – “although if the whispers of the new improved tour schedule prove true then a world title showdown held remotely, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, locked down exclusively and sold as a pay per view special might not be so far-fetched.”
Next – what of your invite to the ranch?
Lastly are Longtom and Webber in intensive training for a pre Pipe stoush
isnt it starting at Pipe and ending Chopes? and then a six man boat trip to Indo to decide the winner? or is that two years away
I heard something to that effect but no confirmation??
Across the leaderboard. The whole lot. All of them. Some facial hair can’t face the music, and some facial hares charge the stage recklessly. Like if Harvey Weinstein and Ellen DeGeneres met on stage at a Kelly Wave Pool Party Event.
The best sledge was Felipe to Kolohe at the end.
“You leaving? You should stay……Watch the boys”.
Subtle.
Then Kolohe says “see you at T-Street”. Passive/ Agressive? One may wonder if SC has welcomed Felipe as one of their own.
Ross Williams. Homosexual. Confirmed.
What led you to this terrific conclusion?
It’s all in the hair cut and nikes mate. My brother is a flaming homma. He makes 15th century style dresses for a living. He’s an interesting man.
are they rainbow dress’s?
Learn English cunt.
Jesus. Gonna cross the road from now on if there’s a Fitness Club
Get Stab on the blower. They’re actively hunting cock jockeys. I’m sure they could re-jig the format for Stab in the Dark a little to get him on. Might make an interesting feature.
And before anyone kicks off, I’m not a homophobe. I’m just a fan of words and homosexual slang. And Stab’s desperation to get stuck in.
Your gaydar is on point
Is it worth sitting through a 30 second NBN advert prior?
I’m busy today.
Ta.
You can upload a 30 second advert with your NBN connection? The future has arrived
Bullshit, Kolohe had every opportunity to rip on John’s center divided beard and he calls him out on pearling?
Even John knows Chloe is a pussy.
I think he owes him a huge thank you for giving away that quarter final heat to him. huge gift.