Featuring Gabriel Medina's beefy thighs!
I am still catching my breath after yesterday’s day of Pipeline action. Does it get any better? But does it really? The waves were inconsistent in the best way possible. Each heat had a handful of very fabulous gems but it was the little inside runners that provided drama after drama. The stand-outs surfed well, Jeremy Flores beat the number one and number two surfers back to back. Gabriel cemented his role as surfing’s greatest villain by dropping onto Kelly Slater’s head and Kelly Slater surfed with a disfigured foot.
A disgusting foot.
You recall that it was broken whilst driving through a closeout barrel in J-Bay and broken badly. Kelly described as being “folded in half” if I recall correctly.
Well, Kelly surfed Pipeline anyhow and while he didn’t exactly look himself he still made it near the quarters which is very fine by any accounting and then the World Surf League posted a picture of his foot.
Ooo-ee! Did you see? Black and blue and very gross. It was a wonder he was even walking much less near the quarters. Does the fact that Kelly is both old and crippled make Gabriel’s offense worse?
Do you like Gabriel Medina’s thighs?
Would you like another angle?
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As a 47 year old with a shitty knee I salute Kelly’s determination.
As someone who can’t afford a new board, he can go kick walls in frustration at Gabby.
nothing to see here but a hairless sasquatch, ya druggas
Is mugging for the judges after emerging from a barrel the worst claim ever? Everyone was doing it at this event, but Gabby was the worst offender. After that drop-in he is now the most villainous surfer on tour. The enfant terrible of the CT!
Do unto slater what slater had done to parko and beschen. Slater passes the torch to Gabriel .The secret assassin Kanoa may one day take the torch of Gabriel now that Wiggolly has been cast back into QS hell .
they should dab.
It’s starting to look like a hoof. How fitting.
True dat.
will you stop showing that horrible photo of my brother’s head.
The beard is running that fine line between hip and homeless. Have a chat with him at Chrissy, will you, Nick?
Gabby reminds me of a soccer player trying to milk a foul. Do Brazilians play ‘soccer’?
You’ve read an article Chas has written before, right?
Chas “ the DANDY “ Smith . Beach Grit’s answer to Oscar Wilde in a west coast heterosexual way .
Surfing needs a lot more bastards
Amen!
I prefer to hear about men that are accompanied by an omnipresent omniscient creator whilst surfing than a guy that says ‘i was just having fun out there’. Even though one is joking and one is deluded.
Right? I love that Gabby will stuff Slater just because.
Wish Archie was on tour right now. The tour needs an Archie.
I fricken’ love Gabby! Who the fuck claims a wave like that?!
Can I tell you a secret? I was cheering for him to take the whole thing.
i was cheering for him too as would have won 1240 bucks!!
Less hair than a porn star.
Everyone has less hair than Ron Jeremy.
I choose to envision an alternative theory that explains Kelly breaking his foot……
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Ain’t our present grand? I choose to believe your alternative theory too! Time to make it an alternative fact.
I have a fact theory: the fall of Kelly’s success is inversely proportional to the rise of radiation-emitting smartphone crowds he has to squeeze through on the beach. Can you imagine the discomfort?
Having problems believing Kelly would do that to his foot. Why so blurry? Looks photoshopped.
It’s not his thighs i have a problem with. It’s the little inside turn after the drop on Kelly i don’t like! Fair enough blocking Kelly from getting a score but trying to milk an interference call?! Poor sportsmanship young man.
Personally think he should have been called for interference/blocking he never engaged his toe side rail only the opposite. Something tells me Kelly appreciated the gamesmanship..
he could have bumped him if he had wanted and still wouldn’t have been awarded the triangle, as Slater did not limit his scoring potential when he went left on that Backdoor wave