Watch as Kelly Slater presents one kid with the prize of a lifetime! Oooeee, it's beautiful.
I get a real kick out of kid contests that grow out of the dirt of good intentions. That have tradition. That have a vitality you don’t get from those events manufactured to push a marketing angle. (Kids as gullible consumers and so forth.)
Last weekend, Shane Dorian held his twenty-third annual Keiki Classic at Banyan’s, a rippable peak, on the Big Island. No entry fee, just bring a tin of food for the poor, for the homeless. Lifeguards teaching the kids how to belt a heartbeat back into an unconscious pal. Low-level sadomasochistic games. Laughs.
Good vibrations, as they used to say.
The highlight of this four-minute reel by Peter King (a BeachGrit staple who’s appeared in such notable stories as, Peter King: “This is terrorism”, Blood Feud: Peter King vs Climate Change, Peter King: “It’s time to kill the WQS” and many more) is the announcement of the sportsmanship prize at the end.
The winner, a fourteen-year-old boy, Luke Heflin, is handed a telephone by Shane, who has FaceTimed Kelly Slater.
“This is unofficial,” says Kelly, “But…”
Oh it’ll make you weep! (Unless your heart is calcified, of course.)
Kona still has Hawaiians, and yes, like you mentioned earlier, people from the mainland USA and other parts of the world have flooded our state. They have access to better jobs, economies, etc., so they just come here and fuck it all up for those us who grew up here, went to school here, and work here. It’s wayyyy harder for us to buy an 800,000 house than some retiree (or his/her children) from San Clemente. Most of us local people are living with family, friends, etc., saving money, hoping to buy something but the economy keeps forging along, with no end in sight. We’re fucked but at least we can still live here. Many families just left.
I’d move back to the islands in a heartbeat if I thought I could actually get a decent job and afford a house.
Too expensive I agree.
We’ll maybe we get that kid to write a report for us on surf ranch, since Dez and Chas and Nick haven’t??
And what the fuck is organic shaved ice?? Is it from pure Hawaiian rainwater caught in coconut shells then frozen without refrigeration – because any form of refrigeration would use “non organic principles” – CFC gas springs to mind!!
February one is full disclosure day!
Awesome wait with trembling excitement!!!
‘Organic shave ice’ – I guffawed at that one also.
Hawaii surfing has gotten shades lighter since the 70’s. Hackman, Owens and the like were were the minority. Not now..
I agree because mattysez. Fuck these little cunts.. we keep hearing about the lower/middle class Hawaiian crew being victimised and pushed out of surfing… hahahaha give me an example of a grass roots comp where kelly is on FaceTime?! In oz?! You might get matt hoy trying to root ya mum- if ya mum has got a good nose beer connect.
Fkn love it.. Aussie oi xunt
Oh you know, the feel good non-commercial community vibe sorta thing.
Made me smile in a non-cynical manner.
Thanks dude, I’ll call ya later. Hahaha fuck these cunts
This is what it should be about.
Have you eaten spam before? I’m sure thats canned penis…or at least what I think… Nah good on them hope the kids had a good day.
Spam musubi rocks!
SPAM and its anagram/semi-palindrome MAPS seem to be doing great business in Hawaii.Not really meat meets not quite legal treat(ment).
I had my first spam musubi about a mile up the road from banyans – where I then went to seek out Dorian. I was unsuccessful in finding the In Gods Hands star, but VERY successful in getting vibed the fuck out by some heavy locs.
Also, spam musubi is horrible.
You obviously haven’t had the new hipster Spam musubi. This place in downtown Honolulu pretty much only sells haute cuisine musubi. Called Ma’Ona musubi. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Too haole Mr Audit, sorry.
They don’t get much more haole than me, to be honest.
Those kids surf nicely! Good styles
Sure do eat ‘up that pretty little peak.
Must have been 10 fucking ten year olds surfing better than me. Time to trade my boards in and get ready for the old people’s home.
Quiz: they might surf better, but what are the advantages of being well along the way to the grave? I can think of several: access to drugs and freaky women, not having to sit in a classroom, head on the desk, listening to the same hoary lines from teachers, rimming etc. What else?
Well, that about covers it!
Wait, rimming? Are you saying it’s better to be old than a kid because you get to lick buttholes? Or is rimming filed under the stuff you list that you don’t have to do anymore now that you’re out of primary school? Not sure which, but either way you’ve lived an exciting life ….
Or be licked. Both have their pros and cons.
Only Beachgrit can segue from the dewy-eyed innocence of Dorian’s keiki classic to a debate on the relative merits of giving and receiving analingus.
Your right. If I’m too old to be surfing, I might as well devote my energy towards becoming a connoisseur and master of annilingus.
Both giving and recieving.
EDIT- As long as she’s super hot!
Words of a Freeman… I’m happy for ya bitchy- can I just call you bitchy? Bit just the free(dom) time of the grom! To have that as a fully mature ‘bitchycrab’- That would be hell sick.. but fuck i scored so hard back then (school) I would press rewind… but it’s cool I’ve got a son to live vicariously through…
Debilitating existential questions and the realisation that the only way to regain happiness and meaning in life is throw away everything you’ve worked towards and everything you have which overwhelms you to the point of bringing you to want to retch and having to put your hand on a strangers shoulder to steady yourself on public transport on the way to a meeting you thought you knew was important but you can’t remember why
There is no meaning
Meaning?
Life kills you, as they say.
Can we get another Mod to feature this? Appreciate Derek’s humility but this comment made the the article.
Don’t panic yet. Perhaps you could try boogie board riding?
I’d rather not drag my cock around the surface of the ocean. Thank you for your thoughts.
I had your best interests at heart. Really.
I know! I can feel it.