(From left) Longtom, Chas, you, our web developer Shaun, our biz guy James, Derek, Negatron.
(From left) Longtom, Chas, you, our web developer Shaun, our biz guy James, Derek, Negatron.

Tech: Pro surfing ain’t that bad!

We are entering a golden age!

BeachGrit is just over three years old now and what a wild adventure it has been, particularly as it relates to the World Surf League. When we first started the World Surf League was called the Association of Surfing Professionals and lead by the handsome + capable Brodie Carr. Soon, though, a no money bid was made + accepted and one Paul Speaker was introduced to us all. Clearly a tool from the start, Paul buttoned up his polo and headed on to business shows, spouting nonsense about how many people watch professional surfing, how much money Kelly Slater makes and how shallow Cloudbreak is.

All of a sudden the World Surf League was the easiest thing on earth of which to make fun. Completely out of touch with and dismissive of the poor wretches too desperately smitten by professional surfing not to watch.

We were caught in a bad romance and the WSL mocked us, rolling out the Channel Four News Team minus the laughs as our commentators while Paul Speaker went out seeking big-dollar non-endemic sponsors because why wouldn’t they want access to the 25 billion people around the world that he claimed were tuning in?

Things reached a critical nadir when title sponsor Samsung’s phones started blowing people’s faces off before pulling out entirely. Other sponsors fell away and the endemic brands continued on in their surf industry apocalypse unable to pick up any slack.

And then a spring. A thaw. It seemed the WSL gave up on attracting the mythical masses, recognizing it a failed strategy, and through nonstop needling, I got Paul Speaker fired. He was replaced with a Sophie Goldschmidt who seems kind enough and also not petrified of a one-one-one interview.

Most importantly, though, our own Steve “Longtom” Shearer became, de facto, the main voice of the League. His coverage over the past season is the envy of all other surf media and he has become the literate, fun, irreverent, knowledgable personality so desperately missing.

Which brings us to this new Facebook deal. Maybe it is exactly what we need. A simple, no nonsense media partnership that provides more bandwidth than YouTube but mostly for the already existing and/or genuinely probable fan. There will be more time, I would imagine, for interstitial programming and I would recommend that BeachGrit be given a show. It will star Longtom and there will be appearances by Nick Carroll, Negatron, Ashton Goggans (a rematch made in heaven), Derek Rielly, me and you.

Tell me it wouldn’t sparkle. Tell me you wouldn’t at the very least hate watch.

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Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

though Lord knows, pro surfing does rather look like that at present

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago

Chas,
Flattered by the words “me and You”.. Just so you know my very best friend in the world is now an industry insider. Happy for him, but seems the only time he has for our friendship is when he needs something. So if you think you can include me at the end of your paragraph. Well well. I don’t get it with you insiders, my rail game is good enough and balls galore for the heavy stuff.. I never paddle around or back paddle you. Its always been sunshine and tubes, why? Good friendships are hard to come by!

lawless
lawless
8 years ago

Please, yes. This would actually be brilliant watching. But, do it totally rogue because that would make it SO much better. Just do a simulcast, so we can mute the official WSL feed and get color commentary from the BeachGrit peanut gallery. Extra points for reading aloud the live comments, because we all know that where the true genius is here.

mundus
mundus
8 years ago

All you have to do watch pro surfing is sell your soul to the devil(face book), no thanks. A certain kind of bargain describes this deal.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

They should just do away with the commentary team and just run the broadcast like Instagram live. Like hearts flying around, emojis, and commenting. I’d sign up a fake named account, tune in, and get to work!

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

Too soon sez, waay too soon! I mean, not for me of course, but too soon.

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

A surf-related BG show would be amazing, but I think I’d pay big money to see you all do a period drama a la Pride and Prejudice.
Longtom as Mr Bennet, Rory to return as Mrs Bennet.
Chas to play Kitty perhaps.
Scratch that. Carroll to play Mr Bennet, Longtom as Wickham. Ashton can play that clergyman.

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

I thought Pride and prejudice was a Don Program?

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Baddum ching. Brutus is here all week everyone!

qtsg
qtsg
8 years ago

Thanks. I hope you appreciated my attempts at the vernacular

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Not even a BG broadcast could convince me to sign up to FB.

Total Package
Total Package
8 years ago

I hate Facebook, go fuck yourself

longtom
longtom
8 years ago

I get nervous now when Chas gives me a tummy tickle. Is my head on the block?

But fcuk yeah that show would be grand.

qtsg
qtsg
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Longtom is like a walleyed, ravening cattledog, all dick, ribs and inchoate rage. His best work comes while chained by the outside dunny, the shit kicked out of him thrice weekly. Sticking him on the expense account and lavishing compliments will dull the edge, draw the poison

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  qtsg

No, I actually do pretty well with a decent per diem Godsave. I tend to blow it on booze and pharmaceuticals.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Now your talking!

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago

the issues being Cervezas being served by the Monster Girls dressed as ….???

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Shouldn’t Chas be Don Draper?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago

Done and done!

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago

How about a sexy photo shoot of Sophie Goldschmidt? I have had fantasies with her.

turts
turts
8 years ago

There’s one main problem with trying to get the masses to embrace/ watch surfing (therefore bringing in big outside sponsors) and that is people outside of surfing don’t watch surfing.

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

stop being so fucken Logical on Straya day!

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

The BG photog perfectly captured the back of my head. That was a fun shoot!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

That’s not you. You are January Jones!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Come on Chas…
8 people in the photo and you’ve only listed 7 names?
Unless… it’s Drunken Angel or the Ghost of Super Jnr who’ve left the Temple of BeachGrit after the exposed IP address debacle, therefore effectively writing themselves out of history?

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I can finally use my real name!

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
8 years ago

to make the wsl suck even more, mombook should hire jeff zucker to run it.

Doody Waxcomb
Doody Waxcomb
8 years ago

Just put the best surfers in the the best waves and the rest will take care of itself

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago
Reply to  Doody Waxcomb

Pa!

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
8 years ago

I’ll watch. You guys will then give me a new show titled, KVF Finds a Shaper! Each episode I will try out a new custom board from a different shaper to ultimately decide who will be getting my business. Awesome footage filled with analytical stares at the board and some major rippage will be produced and accompanied by some real radvertorial by you or Derek on BG.
… you’re welcome.

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago

should I be worried about “The Golden Age ” ,as apparently there is a World leader who likes Golden Showers , and I am just putting it out there , could there be,” A Golden shower age?”

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

I think this is it.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

You better plan this way out in advance. The whole “your boards not done” could stall production. Don’t B roll that either, I wanna see the anger in your eyes upon hearing this daily.


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