Adriano de Souza has a hot tip for you!
I am very excited about this 2018 running of the World Surf League’s Championship Tour and mostly because this year we can win vast wealth through betting real money on the pros. Oh I know that you’ve been able to do this in Australia for years and have wonderful friends who have financed obscene lifestyles through their winnings and I know that the nascent UK surf betting scene is ripe as well but this year we can do in the United States too.
We can stop pretending that there is any dignity in playing fantasy sport and do what true degenerates have done for decades, centuries even.
Gamble.
First, as usual, comes the Gold Coast but it is a little too far off still to make quality assessments and so let us first pick who will with the 2018 title. Now, the smart money says John John or Gabriel Medina but the smart money also doesn’t pay. John John’s odds are currently 3.5 – 1 while Gab is 4.4 – 1. You would have to spend a fortune to make a little and that’s not exciting. That’s not why we’re here. We need a dark horse, a work horse, and can you think of anyone who fits this bill more than the Li’l Plumber?
Of course you cannot.
Adriano de Souza, who already has one world title under the carry-all, is still young-ish (just recently turning 31) and, according to the World Surf League, carries great hope. From the League’s website:
…unlike some of the flashy scene-stealers who push the boundaries of what’s possible on a piece of foam, De Souza is all power and grit. Instead of jaw-dropping airs and innovation, he’s built his long and stable career (that’s 12 years and counting on the CT) with the kind of head-down work ethic that’s part of his DNA.
Other Brazilians from the the generation on his heels — think Gabriel Medina and Filipe Toledo — garner both awe and obsession, of the sort reserved for boy-bands and living geniuses. Instead, what De Souza inspires is less sporty showmanship than delight. Most of all, he stands for hope.
Yes, all power, BeachGrit and hope. A trifecta. And with the odds a current 31-1 how can you go wrong? Tell me this isn’t the best bet to make. Tell me with a straight face.
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I used to want the Lil’ Plumber to die a slow horrible syphilitic death, however my heart warmed to him over the past few years. Came to respect his gritty in your face fuck you determination, bereft of any great talent or flair, he found a way to win when fancier workmen floundered. $10.00 on him, will buy a few for me mates, eh?
I can’t stand gambling.
But I’ll just keep my opinions to myself shall I?
Absolutely not! What makes you hate it so? Did you blow your wad too early and have been crawling up a shallow incline ever since?
It could be a beautiful ride, I refused to accept how good Medina was until I had $600 so close to my grasp.
I’m still gutted by that – had forgotten till you reminded me!!
Maybe if you put money on Adriano he fucking rips!?!?
Haha fuck that really really still stings though.
And you know who’s fault it is?
Derricks fault.
Ohhhh… plumber. I thought it said LI’L PLUMPER. What’s he have to do with plumbing? Like take a poo stance and let the plumbing do the rest?
I enjoyed the old days when a man preferred to blow his money on drugs not on bookmakers.
I enjoyed those days as well. Way less stressful than the balancing act I’m now pulling between the two.
Who do you think and what odds are you slinging?
They outta give this guy a run in the booth:
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Aw fuck that was hilarious..these guys gotta do a live alternative commentator gig on the the Grit while the contests run..fucking I’d listen to that..
Pottz please.
Odds on the phrases ‘so fun to watch’,’carving manoeuvre’ or ‘aargh’ not making it onto tour this year?
Seen here with fellow countryman Italo Ferraira
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Yep, what I said previously – insane that ADS has the same title odds as Parko. I’d rather surf like Parko, but Parko quits when he’s down late in a heat; ADS scraps and grinds till the bitter end. And he knows how to surf a heat like few others. Sure cowboy stance, but he’s a gluefoot like no other, bangs over-vert closeouts to freefall with a 95% make rate. Still a long shot, but better bet than the odds, and at least I know that ADS will work as hard as possible to earn me some $$$
he’s money at Bells
Former. World. Champion. Fuck me.
He’s hard to root for, style wise etc, but from a purely mercenary money making standpoint he’s often a good shout. Never a favourite going into any event but often in finals.
Good bet.
Who exactly are these writers for the WSL? Half the time, the athlete profiles feel like they’re being apologetic about the spotlighted athlete even being on the WCT.
I’d like a written apology from the WSL for a number of boring surfers being on the CT including, but not limited to, the following: the li’l plumber, the spartan, flores, wilko.
I’ll give you the first two, but with an asterisk over ADS because at least he’s not bland as a character. (And if you’ve never seen the Red Bull Ride To The Roots episode featuring him you should definitely watch it. Endearing.)
But I love Jeremy, and I like Wilko, too. As characters and surfers.
For this year’s tour I could do without: Keanu Asing (short, annoying. Can’t be fucked hearing his pishy “heart over height” mantra all season long), Kolohe Andino (infinitely punchable face), Julian Wilson (absolute chokemaster. Will be even worse with wife/kid), Ace Buchan (we’ll never see anything new from The Thinking Surfer), Pat Gudauskas (had yer chance, mate), Ian Gouveia (blank).
I’ll give the rookies the benefit of doubt.
Kolohe definitely needs a smack down and jules is too conservative in interviews to the point i can’t watch them. But as surfers I think they’re fuckin entertaining to watch. Agree, Ace can go. Too boring. On all accounts. Same with Ian. I don’t like Wilko’s style and find jeremy repetitive (subjective).
Julian is beautiful. But I’d be content with just a still photo of his bottom turn.
Judges fell in love with Wilko’s backhand for a while, which made me want to hate it, but you can’t really deny it in the end.
I love Jeremy’s fire. I was convinced that he would win a title in his first 5 years. That ship has probably sailed but I still like to think it’s not impossible. If Wilko can go on a run, why not J-Flo? He’d be a fucking closer, too, rather than a choker.
ugh, please no heart over height in ’18
I’m the anti-Keanu/ADS. Height over heart.
For The People™! Go ADS!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
He stands for poo-stance which is not hope.