Yesterday morning you read the earth-shattering story, pulled
from the pages of Hollywood’s leading trade publication, detailing
the myriad changes coming to professional surfing. As recap, the
World Surf League’s $30 million dollar deal with Facebook means the
WSL app, that you reluctantly downloaded just over a year ago, is
now obsolete. Also, the League is building a tank in Tokyo that
will be ready for the 2020 Summer Games and that professional
surfing under the floodlights is a brave new reality.
While we will be digesting all of this over the coming months,
the $30 million dollar figure stuck out to me immediately. It seems
like a lot of money. Not too much money but a lot of
money, right? Like, what would you do with $30 million dollars?
Would you make wise investments? Squander it foolishly? Buy a home
in the hills? Give it all away and move to an ashram?
What about $3500 dollars? Would you replace your brakes? Take
the wife out to Outback Steakhouse and order the Bloomin’ Onion AND
the Kookaburra Wings?
Well, unbuckle your belt, boy, and tell the wife to wear her
stretchy pants because dreams do come true!
Florida Today is reporting:
Pro-level surfers ages 18 to 40 for men and women are needed
for a Coca-Cola commercial. Pay compensation is $3,500 per person,
according to a release by Bonnie King, film commissioner for the
Space Coast Film and Television Office. Submit a head shot and one
full-length picture to casting director Pearl Rojo at
[email protected].
Boom. Like that. And while your initial response may be, “But
I’m not a pro surfer…” remember. We’re all pro
surfers.
If you are not quite in the mood to be rich (and possibly
famous) feel free to sent Pearl Rojo someone else here’s
headshot/full-length length picture.
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Buy A Chainsaw And Attack the C**T!
By Longtom
Designer of boards for Kelly, Dan Thomson, and the
influence of his pops, Mark…
Bike. Surf pumping at the point. Monday morning mid morning.
Pandanus palm mark carcass. Life outside the mainstream work-a-day
culture. Backyard high tech…
Monday morning a couple of weeks ago, late winter to be
precise. What are you up to? Making an honest living
somewhere? Trading your time/labour/expertise in exchange for a
handful of shekels to help pay for the sky high cost of living near
the ocean?
Probably.
Dan “Tomo” Thomson is at work too or at least riding home from
work. Peddling a bike along the dirt track underneath the whistling
she-oaks beside the frogs croaking in the swamp that lays just
behind the basalt boulders of Lennox Point. Under the arm, some new
foam-and-fibreglass creation has been put on the test track.
Something that justifies the term work for a shaper/designer, maybe
Australia’s best, certainly the most innovative.
There hasn’t been anything as radical in form and concept as the
“Modern Planing Hull” since the shortboard revolution. This one has
the parallel outline with a pulled in tail and a quad setup. It
looks fast with a ton of control built into the engine room. And I
know it works because I just spent an hour watching Daniel put it
all over the six-foot walls roping down the Point.
“Shaping started slowly for him. His brain was strong and he
knew what he wanted but the hands couldn’t translate what was in
his head. It took time.” Mark Thompson,.
I’m not the only one watching. Stretched out across a rock
beside a cave-like clump of pandanus palms the father of Daniel
Thomson, Mark, is baking like a lizard in the winter sun, a look of
deep contentment etched across his face. Yeah, Dan’s doing OK. Hit
the big-time with Firewire and his collaborations with Slater. And
Mark’s enjoying every second of his son’s success.
Dan’s position at the vanguard of surfer-shapers and
shaper-designers, somehow who is as comfortable flaring fins along
the coping as they are experimenting with the possibilities of
shape and the limits of space age materials, isn’t an accident.
He’s no Johnny Come Lately. He’s not some dude who, with a flare
for marketing and a partner who could build a website, learnt the
intricacies of AKU shaper before he could swing a planer. No, you
could say he’s been groomed for this for a long time, maybe since
birth.
The upbringing was, how to put it, unorthodox. Mark is
an unconventional man and the family compound, a sprawling
hippy-type affair nestled in rainforest at the base of Broken Head
was about as far from the typical nine-to-five urban upbringing as
you could get. The Byron-Ballina area was then, and still is, at
the forefront of design experimentation .
Mark says he and Dan “cycled through every design you could
think of: singles, twins, concaves, no-nose thrusters. It was
nothing to ride something at Broken Head and snap it in the tube,
go home, shape another one and come back to the Point the next day
to test it. That’s what Daniel grew up exposed to. But it wasn’t
easy for him. I was fucking hard on him.”
“The area was just fizzing with everything,” says Mark. “From Al
Byrne’s channels to McCoy’s Lazer Zaps to twinnies – we just grew
up through that whole change and we were just doing everything we
could. There was nothing out of bounds and there were no rules.
Daniel was wandering around watching me shape surfboards since he
was in nappies,” says Mark while we stretch out on rocks post surf
at the Point. “I’d give him a block of foam and a surform and set
him up under a tree and tell him to shape something just to get him
out of my hair so I could get my work done.”
Mark says he and Dan “cycled through every design you could
think of: singles, twins, concaves, no-nose thrusters. It was
nothing to ride something at Broken Head and snap it in the tube,
go home, shape another one and come back to the Point the next day
to test it. That’s what Daniel grew up exposed to. But it wasn’t
easy for him. I was fucking hard on him.”
He laughs, uproariously, head tilted back with a mane held in
place by an old school sun visor. With a missing front tooth and
built like a water buffalo you can imagine the old man would have
cut an intimidating figure to a young kid.
At 15 Dan was up to his neck in the Junior Series as an aspiring
pro surfer, a contemporary and peer of Fanning, Parko and Dean
Morrison. As a country kid from the rainforest he seemed to lack
the mongrel required to make the cut.
“Dan rang me looking for advice about shaping a board from a
block of foam for SacredCraft and I told him: Just go down to the
hardware and buy a chainsaw and fucking attack the cunt. So he did.
Won board of the show.” Mark Thompson.
“As soon as that singlet went over his head his brain went to
scrambled eggs. If they hassled him he’d be like Curren: he’d
paddle up the beach trying to get away from them,” says Mark. “He
wanted the best boards and I was always pushing him to be
responsible to think about what he wanted. If he broke his boards
and came to me – I need a new board Dad – I’d say, well you
know where the fucking shaping room is, there’s blanks in there. If
he went in there and did it, I’d always go and detail it for him.
Shaping started slowly for him. His brain was strong and he knew
what he wanted but the hands couldn’t translate what was in his
head. It took time. I always knew Daniel was going to be a late
bloomer. He got a lot of information at a very young age. I knew it
was going to take time to digest that knowledge and put it all
together”.
Curren.
Everyone needs a break, something or someone to crack the world
wide open and for Dan it came in the form of a Californian looking
to make connections between proto-typical shaper Bob Simmons and
the fish design undergoing a modern resurgence, a bookish bear of a man name of
Richard Kenvin.
Richard hired Mark as a cinematographer with Rasta as talent but
when Rasta couldn’t make it Daniel was subbed in. Initially, the
project, called Hydrodynamica, failed to inspire the
Thomson clan.
“I wasn’t that interested,”,says Mark, “because I looked at the
boards and thought: What’s this 1960’s shit. At the time, I had
stringerless XTR carbon flex-tails. Power-drive fins. Really,
really advanced shit. But when Richard explained Bob Simmons maths
and the hydrodynamic principles, I thought that makes sense.
Now I’m interested.”
The footage of the unknown kid from Lennox Head ripping it up on
the San Diego Fish went back to the States creating a buzz as the
fish reached a peak in popularity. Dan could’ve stayed in the
comfortable bubble of Lennox but he put his sack on the line and
shipped himself off to California with 300 bucks in his back pocket
to make a go of it as a shaper-designer.
Growing up surrounded by a dominant father and giants of the
design world had it’s advantages but with so many tall trees
surrounding him Dan felt a need to find his own space and
sunshine.
The footage of the unknown kid from Lennox Head ripping it up on
the San Diego Fish went back to the States creating a buzz as the
fish reached a peak in popularity. Dan could’ve stayed in the
comfortable bubble of Lennox but he put his sack on the line and
shipped himself off to California with 300 bucks in his back pocket
to make a go of it as a shaper-designer.
“I had to get out his shadow,” Dan says, “so I took my own path
with the fish.”
Innovation wasn’t long coming. An irony: that the path to the
most radical transformation of the shortboard for 50 years came via
the lineage of the San Diego fish, the ultimate symbol of hipster
retro fashion.
While Mark found inspiration in nature and universal geometry,
Dan was surrounded by the high-tech world of California and saw
design principles in science and technology. Military aircraft,
with their sawn off sharp angles and drag free surfaces became
design templates for the fish to become harder, more modern, more
angular and high performance under Dan’s planer.
The Sacred Craft Shape-Off, a trade-show competition between
shapers, put Dans’ credentials and upbringing centre stage.
“I’d always taught him how to attack foam,” says Mark from the
verandah of the Lennox family home overlooking a North Coast
pointbreak. “Dan rang me looking for advice about shaping a board
from a block of foam for SacredCraft and I told him: Just go down
to the hardware and buy a chainsaw and fucking attack the cunt. So
he did. Won board of the show.”
Dan was surrounded by the high-tech world of California and saw
design principles in science and technology. Military aircraft,
with their sawn off sharp angles and drag free surfaces became
design templates for the fish to become harder, more modern, more
angular and high performance under Dan’s planer.
While the Fish was relentlessly and ruthlessly modernised by the
country kid in the heart of California, almost a perfect mirror of
the historical moment when the Californian Greenough presented the
vision of the future to the longboard riding Aussies, the great
leap forwards to the Modern Planing Hull was incubated in
darkness.
Dan’s relationship with his American gal and mother of their
child foundered and went sour and in the throes of that misery Dan
went into the shaping bay and let loose with a white hot burst of
creativity. Those boards, radically different to anything else,
with a kiteboard aesthetic, were tested at Lennox Point. I saw them
being ridden, in the early stages. Bizarre looking, thin, narrow,
short. But it was immediately obvious that the “planing” in the
planing hull was incredibly efficient. Effortless speed. According
to Mark those boards, the future, or the radical present, then sat
in a cupboard. Unseen.
Dan’s relationship with his American gal and mother of their
child foundered and went sour and in the throes of that misery Dan
went into the shaping bay and let loose with a white hot burst of
creativity.
That is, until they were launched at a trade show in the
states.
Which brings us to the next great juncture in the Dan Tomo
story: the linking up with technology platform Firewire to
mass-produce the Modern Planing Hull.
When it comes to Firewire and Tomo it’s a fair question to ask:
who made who? Firewire was struggling, looking for investment
(taken on by Kelly Slater eventually) and drifting down a path of
over-sized grovel boards for intermediates. It was a company
haemorrhaging credibility in the high-performance space. Tomo
elbowed aside the Sweet Potato with the Vanguard, the Evo and now
the Slater designs Sci-Fi and Omni and the market lapped it up.
Firewire CEO Mark Price confirms Dan Tomo has been the
highest-selling designer for Firewire since he came on board.
Of course, the benefit flows both ways. The royalty cheques mean
Dan can afford to be riding his bike back from the Point with a new
design under arm at 10 am on a Monday morning, a Hydrodynamic
Architect ready to take theories from wherever he can find them and
translate that into the continuing progression of the modern
shortboard.
Just like his father taught him.
(Editor’s note: I commissioned this story for an issue
of Surfing Life, a surfboard
themed issue. If there are any good guys left in this topsy-turvy
old world, it’s the owners of Surfing Life and
White Horses, two print mags
bought from their corporate owners and run by surfers for no other
reason than a desire to not let their babies die.)
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Rich: WSL gets 30 million dollars!
By Chas Smith
No more WSL app, surfing in tank at 2020 Olympics
and more!
I apologize deeply for yesterday’s silence.
I’ve got a story coming that is going to make you laugh and laugh
and laugh and laugh but have to sort out some details first. In the
meantime, it’s a good thing that BeachGrit’s still
around because otherwise you’d have to pay Stab 20 cents
for its new premium service
to learn that the World Surf League will make 30 million dollars
from its new Facebook deal.
Thirty million dollars!
And let me cut and paste some bits from Variety for you here and
free.
Facebook, which is moving aggressively into the business of
live sports, locked up a two-year agreement last week with the
World Surf League.
The deal brings more than $30 million in licensing revenues
to the league, and also comes at a pivotal moment in the history of
professional surfing. Last fall, the WSL held an event at the Kelly
Slater Wave Pool, a facility in Lemoore, Calif., that creates
artificial waves. The league is now working to build several
similar facilities around the world in hopes of making the sport
less dependent on ocean currents and more amenable to TV
viewing.
Some of the more salient bits of the interview with WSL CEO
Sophie Goldschmidt.
-Surfing is not available on American TV, though the league
does have agreements in other territories, including Australia and
Brazil. Since its rebranding a few years ago, the league has
fashioned itself as being “digital first” — offering its events on
YouTube and through its mobile app. Last year, the WSL signed a
non-exclusive deal with Facebook. The new agreement provides for
exclusivity, meaning that live events will no longer be available
on the WSL app.
-In addition to the scheduling issue, the wave pool will
allow the WSL to create its own stadiums, bringing spectators much
closer to the action than they would be if they were standing on
the beach. The predictability of the waves will also open up the
possibilities for camera angles. The league can also host nighttime
events, with floodlighting to illuminate the surfers.
-The WSL’s moves have riled some traditionalists who see
surfing as a spiritual communion with the ocean. Goldschmidt is
careful to stress the league’s support for ocean conservation
efforts, and also emphasizes that ocean surfing is not going
away.
-“It’s not about wave systems or the ocean,” she says. “I
think we can have our cake and eat it too. The values and culture
of the sport have never been more important, but we can be
innovative and push the boundaries.”
-The WSL has broken ground on a second wave facility in
Florida, and has plans to build more in Japan and Europe. Surfing
will be in the Tokyo Olympics in 2020, which the WSL sees as an
opportunity for a broader audience.
-“We’re planning to build a wave system (in Tokyo) in time,”
for the games, Goldschmidt says. “Maybe there’s a chance they’ll do
it in the wave system.”
So, no more WSL app, the future of professional surfing is the
pool and they 2020 Olympics are going to be its grand showcase.
Right? But who are these traditionalists who see surfing as a
spiritual communion with the ocean? They sound like bastards to
me.
And that’s big news right there. Ultra premium for free!
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Noted shaper charged after man’s death
By Derek Rielly
A sad coda to noted surfer Tony Hardy's
life…
If you live around Margaret River, you’ll know the
shaper Tony Hardy and his brood. Amazing surf
family. Tony is pops to surfer-bodyboarders Gene, Ryan, Brett and
Josh.
All of ’em except Josh have won a State surfing title. Even his
granddaughter Willow scooped one up this year to go alongside her
two Small Fries crowns.
But Tony doesn’t surf much anymore, blames age, injuries. Hangs
out at Nathan Rose’s surfboard factory, the joint Maurice Cole
built in 1995. Uses the shower when he needs to.
“He’s ruled a line through surfing,” says one Margaret River
surfer.
Tony, who is sixty-seven, is what you’d call, in polite company,
an eccentric. You’ll see him at Main Break, Margaret River, the
wave he owned in the seventies, trimming the pig-face that has
grown over the footpath. Or stopped at the side of the road in
Margs with his shears trimming the bush.
On Tuesday afternoon, Tony allegedly got into a fight with his
ex-wife’s husband and belted him around so badly with a paint
roller (allegedly) he had to be flown to Perth via the Flying Doc
service to treat his life-threatening injuries. Tony’s ex-wife was
also hospitalised for injuries.
The cops caught Tony hiding in bushland later in the
afternoon.
Homicide squad detectives say charges of causing grievous bodily
harm and aggravated assault occasioning bodily harm may be
upgraded.
It shows you who and what you are but the worst
possible version.
Surf Ranch that fucking Surf Ranch. That God
forsaken lake in the middle of California and right near my
ex-wife’s hometown Surf Ranch. With the Indian casino around the
corner and a fence surrounding the environmentally friendly mulch
and wood chip landscaping Surf Ranch. The parking lot that still
had professional surfers’ name placards in front of the spaces Surf
Ranch with one or maybe two Tesla power stations Surf Ranch.
Do you want to know where I parked? In Mick Fanning’s spot. Do
you want to know what happened to me later in the day on wave
number four? I dislocated my shoulder for the 25th-ish time in my
life and am headed to major surgery in two weeks. Where the doctor
saws part of my shoulder bone off, flips it upside down and screws
it back in so the muscle runs across the ball joint and helps keep
everything in place.
Mick Fanning that fucking Mick Fanning.
Longtom asked in the comments of the initial Surf Ranch
post, “Couldn’t you fake fire and fury for the
people?” Shame washed over me. Shame followed by exhaustion. I am
exhausted of thinking about Surf Ranch and looking at Surf Ranch
and hearing the damned words Surf Ranch but he is right. Exhaustion
is not an excuse to perform surf journalism poorly and so here I
am, mustering the bile that rotted in my throat as Derek and I
drove south that evening.
Surf Ranch that fucking Surf Ranch is not a pornography, as
previously described, nor is it a hooker. Those two are built
purely to give you exactly what you want. To reflect back what you
imagine yourself to be. Surf Ranch is exactly opposite. It shows
you who and what you are but the worst possible version. A
horrible, satanic mirror and allow me to explain. I never not once
in my entire life imagined myself a “good” surfer.
I surf.
I like to surf.
And that is all. I have also never cared. I love to write and
some of the grandest writers of all time are failed bullfighters,
boxers, baseball players, dancers. I am a failed surfer but Surf
Ranch, oh Surf Ranch, it makes you more than a failure. It makes
you a fraud.
Shall I describe? You paddle out with three other friends and
line up along a fence. The man in front has priority. The man
behind him second priority. Etc. The pool is calm and warm enough
and you have one thought banging in your head.
DO NOT BLOW THE TAKE OFF.
You’ve taken off on thousands of waves in your life. Hundreds of
thousands. So why are you even worried? But you are worried because
this is not a wave this is Surf Ranch and then the countdown
begins. A voice shouting across the water “One minute until wave!”
One minute until wave? How often do you get a warning in the ocean
like that? Never. Never especially if you are me.
That minute is eternal. You think DO NOT BLOW THE TAKEOFF. And
you think DO NOT THINK DO NOT BLOW THE TAKE OFF. And you think DO
NOT THINK DO NOT THINK DO NOT BLOW THE TAKEOFF. And then the plow
whirs to life. It is not as loud as you would imagine. Not quite
industrial but definitely mechanical and it whirs and the wave
starts breaking on the shoal at the side of the pool very
counter-intuitively. It is breaking over there and then the swell
starts gurgling toward you and your heart is pounding DO NOT BLOW
THE TAKEOFF as you paddle toward one of the flag poles at the
distant end of the pool in the exact opposite way that you would
normally paddle. Counter-intuitive.
The wave is there. You paddle. You stand. You did not blow the
takeoff but now here it is racing before you. The famed Surf Ranch.
The marvelous Surf Ranch and your legs move like they almost should
and your arms move like they almost should but it is not right
because you are not right. Everything is perfect as far as the wave
is concerned but you are a halting, stuttering mess of conservatism
and trepidation. You are you but you are the absolute worst
possible version of you. The satanic version. The fraudulent
version. And you surf the entire wave that way knowing you have
five maybe six more chances to fix yourself.
But there is no fixing yourself. Fixing yourself takes years and
years and years in heavy therapy. It does not happen in one hour at
Surf Ranch.
Every single surf journalist was depressed afterward. Morbidly
depressed. You could feel it in their energy. See it on their
faces. Every single God forsaken surf journalist except Chris Cote
(he surfed the wave better than Kelly Slater) and Vaughn Blakey (he
created a new sort of tall man art form).
Every single other one though. Oh they all surfed well enough,
Pete Taras and Todd Prodanovich stand out in my memory, but every
one depressed and if they say no they are lying. I was there. I saw
and felt with my arm dangling loose and dead Surf Ranch. Nick
Carroll? You were depressed. Sean Doherty? You were depressed. You
were all depressed except Chris Cote and Vaughn Blakey and maybe
Pete Taras and Todd Prodanovich.
But would you like to know my proudest moment? I paddled for a
left and did not blow the takeoff and was cruising down the line
with my legs and arms moving almost like they should. Midway down
the pool I got bored, thought “fuck this Surf Ranch” and kicked
out. One of the very fine lifeguards, I think he is also a
lifeguard for Maverick’s, pulled up to me on the ski and asked, “Is
everything all right?”
I responded, “Yes.”
He said, “You had a lot more wave there.”
I told him, “Yeah, I got bored.”
He said, “You were the first person I have ever seen kick
out.”
I smiled and then, one wave later, my arm was taken from its
shoulder socket. Of course I was only bored because my lack of
skill was fully exposed. My heart beating FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD not
only to you but to me but to hell with it all. That’s what I think
now, months removed.
To hell with it. It would all be kind of fun if you were a
billionaire who could build your own or a millionaire who could
rent one for the weekend with your four best friends but you are
neither and so to hell with Surf Ranch.