This is Pritamo Ahrendt, your new Head Judge. A lovely man, smart, rips and so forth. The question I have here is, why the cruel photo WSL? Are there no hairdressers in Santa Monica? A can of hairspray at a pinch? Couldn't you have toned down the side light? Chris Hemsworth would have trouble dealing with that sorta lighting. | Photo: WSL

News: Rich Porta quits as WSL Head Judge!

The lovely Pritamo Ahrendt takes peachy job… 

Rich Porta quits?

Well, not exactly quits, concede a brother the chance for a clickbait headline, but former Head Judge Rich Porta will soon “transition into a development role for the WSL.”

In a press release received a few minutes ago,

“The World Surf League (WSL) announced the appointment of Pritamo Ahrendt as WSL Head Judge. Ahrendt will take over the position previously held by Rich Porta, who will transition into a new role for the League. 

“Ahrendt joined the Championship Tour judges’ panel in 1999, and has worked closely with Porta and the WSL Commissioners’ Office in recent years, serving as an Associate Head Judge at the Championship Tour level. As WSL Head Judge, Ahrendt will oversee the consistency and accuracy of scoring across the judges’ panel alongside his other Head Judge duties. He will also work within the Commissioners’ Office team to further develop WSL Judging programs. 

“It has been an honor to work for the WSL/ASP for the past 19 years, and I am humbled to move into the role of WSL Head Judge,” said Ahrendt. “It has been a privilege to watch the highest level of surfing and to critically analyze it. I am excited for this opportunity to oversee the panel and ensure the judging is fair and consistent, while also adapting as the world’s best surfers break down new performance barriers.”

“Ahrendt brings over 19 years of experience to the WSL. He began as a Touring Judge at age 21 and was key to modifying the judging criteria to reward progressive maneuvers. Ahrendt’s vast knowledge and foresight will be invaluable in evolving the judging criteria in step with the progression of the world’s best surfers.”

It’s true, Pritamo does rip, he’s a decent sorta cat and will serve the role with distinction.

As for Rich, he wore a lot of heat as Head Judge, some of it warranted – the obsession with “Wraps” and the deluge of tens last year for example – but mostly not. What I liked about Rich was his transparency. It was a candour that would take you by surprise and make you wish you had a few harder questions up your sleeve

Once, Rich spent half a day with me in the judging tower explaining what is the what etc and didn’t get sad when I wrote,

“As I enter what I will later learn is called the Circle of Overscore, pro surfers wander naked serving food. Two of the four “studs” or “cockmongers” (a young pro chosen for his large penis) fondle each other in front of the judges, which arouses them greatly. During a search for the “cockmonger” with the firmest buttocks, the Brazilian Felipe Toledo is chosen and is gifted a win in the US Open, which will conclude the following afternoon.

I do wish Rich the very best. A job well-ish done, I think.

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in tubo veritas
in tubo veritas
8 years ago

wonder why you’re been so kind on Porta..anyway it can only stay as bad or improve..worse not possible

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago

Hungover. Assorted Joys of Life etc
This made my day. Better then first coffee
Bye bye, pls close door on way out Porta
😊

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
8 years ago

D, that might be the most fabulous paragraph ever published on The Grit.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

I think the departure of Dave Shipley is at least as noteworthy. Dave was a rock on that panel, he head judged a lot of big heats in a most scrupulous fashion and a lot of first time CT judges leaned on his experience and compassion over the years. I’m not sure why he is leaving, but Dave at his best was good as they get.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago

Will he get Porta’s headphone feed too? Still can’t believe heads didn’t roll after the Zeke incident at Bells!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

He survived Gabriel’s 6.5 air against Fanning at the 2015 pipe masters so a technical glitch upsetting a Hawaiian rookie could easily be swept under the carpet .

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago

I thought their ‘technical glitch’ story completely unbelievable! So the other cunts in the judges tower just nodded and agreed (including this new fella I presume) with what was obviously a wrong call! Poor Peter Mel and Ronnie were trying to use the speed of sound and the curvature of the earth (much to Slater’s approval) to justify the discrepancy! Would online betting provided a simpler, more plausible explanation? There have been some very bad calls, but something truly stank about that call!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

On this very round sphere on which we live, where there is money at stake the stink is never far away .

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago

I watched very few heats last year after that one, the whole thing felt rigged, or scripted I suppose you could say!

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

you can script this (WWE)

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago

For the People and By the People

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Did they bust down the door?

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
8 years ago

I decided to click on the link and wow that article was 4 years ago, oh how time flies when your having fun

f u
f u
8 years ago

in with the new boss, same as the old boss

Badger
Badger
8 years ago

I do wonder what Porta’s transitional role might be. He needs to sort that hair line/forehead out so maybe something to do with image rights?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  Badger

Is he transitioning into a female perhaps? Hope so.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Hope it works better than it did for Peter/Westerly/Peter.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Takes a former QLD surfing genius/wave pool visionary/NIDA student/ China’s first surf coach and future ex transvestite to come up with the man on man competitive surfing system that is still being used .NK do you think judging has progressed since MP won the Stubbies in 77 ?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Of course! No one even turned in those days 😜

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Cheeky . MR turned and Timperley followed.

Poulet
Poulet
8 years ago

The Circle of Overscore is one of the funniest things I’ve read on BG for a while (excluding comments). If Wednesdays with Bob is half as good as that I’ll buy it

Lorlac
Lorlac
8 years ago
Reply to  Poulet

It’s better

Poulet
Poulet
8 years ago
Reply to  Lorlac

Sold! Despite my low interest in politics, especially Aussie politics

turts
turts
8 years ago

Face stubble? Really? What, is he auditioning for the lead role on Party of Five?
Hello, Pritamo? This is 1997, we’d like our style back please

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

He’s too busy throwing down 10s baby!

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

Didn’t you know, style is no longer relevant in surfing. We have really evolved!

turts
turts
8 years ago

Is this why Alex Knost is no longer relevant?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

Word

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

shout outs to Sunny, Bobby, and Jeremy

Poulet
Poulet
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Nods to the new school: Kolohe, Zeke and Felipe

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Mullet has cats called Sunny, Bobby and Jeremy?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Big-ups to Laird and Laird SuperFoods for their contributions.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago

and Purps?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  Ami Lost

You know it

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

Is this it? I am laughing and laughing but not a third laugh!!
Porta gone is funny, but not funny if he calls the shots behind the scenes

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Same. I thought it was laughs x 4. I could be wrong. I usually am. Whatever the case I’m demanding a minimum of 3 x laughs. Where the fuck are my laughs!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

I have reflected on the oh so not amazing contribution Richie has made to professional surfing and he finishes with a combined wave total of 11. He never seemed to make any sense when explaining the murky criteria and seemed to think the louder he spoke, the clearer he became.

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

His worst moments came when trying to articulate the completely opaque emotional world of subjective judging.
You know it’s best to keep your mouth shut and have people suspect you are full of shite than open and it and remove all doubt

Or maybe they were the best etc etc

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

It was clear that the head judge of the WSL had very little conviction in the merit of the judging criteria. “You feel a 10” was the best he could do. I doubt Ziff and Sophie could feel a 10 if it was belted squarely up their collective arses.

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

For those that may have been close enough to know did richies tenure outshine Perry’s?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  Doobalachy

Both judged during periods of pretty significant change. I reckon Hatchett and Rabbit oversaw the biggest change in pro surfing, getting events into better waves and pushing radical manouvres and diverse repertoire over wave height, length of ride and counting turns. Hatchettt seemed to leave the building with judging in better shape than when he entered. Porta? Not so sure that’s the case…

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

think you can make a decent argument that Hickel even slowed down the progression. Taj, Cory, and Hobgreats were doing airs in the early 2000s, and getting beat by foam climbs.

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago

Pritamo Ahrendt, a mug and a name so fucking ambiguous no one can possibly blame him for favouritism, sounds Italian, maybe, but he lives in Byron Bay? He does look like a human though.

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

i bet he’s from one of the ‘guays

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Krauty Surname, Latino First name……Großvater got away with it and made it to South America? Not his fault, in any case.

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

Hippy parents. Byron Bay.

Top bloke. He will struggle in the glare of the spotlight though.

theguru
theguru
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

He came up with the current contest format..or did he?

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  theguru

officially, yes.

theguru
theguru
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Only Pritamo knows the truth…and maybe one or two others

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  theguru

I know it is contested terrain.

Krill
Krill
8 years ago
Reply to  theguru

Or..do they?

Krill
Krill
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

Geniune, generous human being and owner of one of the most enviable collection of historic sleds imaginable.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

Wish I wasn’t human.

lorne
lorne
8 years ago

they had to save Richie from himself. with all the furious below the lip surfing that was going to go down at the Surf Ranch this year he would have looked fairly stupid scoring every wave of the comp a 10.

abs(ə)nt
abs(ə)nt
8 years ago

About time. Can you please look into Indonesia’s pending ban on all sex outside of marriage laws. What will this mean for Bali and it’s surf tourism industry if passed?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  abs(ə)nt

Exchanging G strings for chastity belts ? Full Metal Strings .

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Can I still surf in a g-banger in indo? I’m human. Male.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

If your emancipated

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

And ya bum is as smooth as your arms .

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Hermes Handbags’ arms have their own heartbeat. They move like Jagger!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

Well he is the son of Zeus after all .

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
8 years ago

Hang on! I’m still getting ready for speedo surfing. I’ll never keep up with fashion.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Back leg speedo and front leg gangster below the knee so you can pull it down as if your embarrassed when you come flying out of a backside tube.The Human League haircut boardshort where Lopez meets Irons at your pipe.”dont you want me baby?dont you want me now ? “

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Moreover, are birkenstocks in or out? I’m so lost. Fashion tips please!


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