How to: Qualify for the 2020 Olympics!

The steps necessary to get you in the Games!

So you’ve got Olympic dreams. Don’t worry, it’s ok to admit. You’re amongst friends here. A judgement-free zone where you can confess all your closely held secrets. Like your Olympic dreams. Maybe carrying your nation’s flag, marching into an arena packed with throngs of jingoistic sport fans. The pop of flashbulbs. The scent of gunpowder lingering from a fantastic fireworks display.

Your parents used to deride your surfing. Mother called it a “nasty habit.” Father made not so subtle gay jokes any time you passed in front of him on your way to the beach. Well, they’re at home now watching these opening ceremonies live on television. Sitting there proud as punch of their Olympian.

The day the qualification process for Tokyo 2020 was released was the best of your life. You’ll forever remember passing you local surf shop and seeing it taped to its window, right below Billabong x Joel Parkinson’s new six-year contract. It spoke to you:

The key elements of the qualification system are as follows: 20 men, 20 women.Maximum of 2 surfers per gender per National Olympic Committee (NOC).Qualification spots will be earned on an individual basis, by name.

In accordance with IOC guidelines, the qualification events have been determined in hierarchical order of qualification, as further explained below.

If two surfers of a gender have qualified through the first hierarchical order, that NOC will not be able to qualify more surfers of that gender through qualifying events lower in hierarchical order.

All surfers selected by their respective National Federations for their national teams must participate in 2019 and 2020 ISA World Surfing Games in order to be eligible for Olympic qualification.

The final details of the eligibility requirements are still under review by the ISA and the IOC.

The hierarchical order of qualification will be as follows:

2019 World Surf League Championship Tour: First 10 eligible men and first 8 eligible women.

2020 ISA World Surfing Games: First 4 eligible men and first 6 eligible women.

2019 ISA World Surfing Games: 4 men and 4 women selected based on their continent. Top finishing eligible surfer of each gender from Africa, Asia, Europe and Oceania.

2019 Pan American Games: First eligible man and first eligible woman in the surfing competitions.

Host nation slot: One man and one woman slot will be guaranteed for the host nation of Japan, unless already filled through the above hierarchies. Should athletes from Japan qualify regularly, their slots will be reallocated to the highest ranked eligible surfers from the 2020 World Surfing Games.

And you ran home, screaming “I’m going to surf in the Olympics!” the entire way. Now look at you. Look at you marching in your nation’s sequined polyester pantsuit and glittering cowboy hat. Nasty habit? Gay? No need to apologize mother and father. No need at all.

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Jean Paul Repetto
Jean Paul Repetto
8 years ago

Chas, this is old, December 2017. News of the last PR is the confirmation from the IOC and the fact that countries may travel with three surfers per gender, six total: https://dukesurf.com/world-…

Have a good one!

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

Now that we have Eurovision Song Competition entry, does that mean Australia is ‘Oceania’ or ‘Europe’?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

And over to the surfing news “ As Barrel Dodging Great Britain prepare to pullout of Europe, Aussie Surfers are frothing at the bit to pull in…………..

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Who? Chas’s dad?

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago

This article made me want to start smoking crack!!

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Why?

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago

When did you stop smoking crack?!

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

I’ve never heard ‘gay’ jibes towards surfing. Interesting. Is that what your dad said in Oregon?

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Maybe his dad knew something.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Kennedy assassination!?!??

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Does the word “eligible” mean unmarried but willing to give it a go? All for Olympic glory? What dedication!

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

I feel I’m more diss qualified than qualified for Olympic Surfing.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

That’s DISQUSting !

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

Possibly easier to qualify for the Olympics than the 2018 Battle of the Boardriders Grand Final ? Oops 😬

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I am writing to ISA asking wether fat and old could get me a ParaOlympic slot. Could have them consider perhaps a mental disability…

brye
brye
8 years ago

Yeah that sounds like me. Do you think we can have jet ski assists?

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

You’d stand a better chance if you had a fucked up paddling style. But, that’s already claimed like a winner in a tennis match.

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
8 years ago

First of all, it’s Paralympics, and secondly, never joke about the Paralympics, m8

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
8 years ago

I am joking about myself. Don’t let that log hit you on ze head Surfing your river, ya?

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
8 years ago

It took you two days to come up with that Wes. you are the indeed the joke.

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
8 years ago

Not my fault you live in Germany and got nothing better to do. I’ve been working and scoring some carves/barrels. Good luck finding a job!

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
8 years ago

Carves! Wow, you must rip!

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago

wow! what a coup for what’s his name, Fernando Ex-Reef ISA dude? are they going to send they winner of grandmasters or just senior men?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Maybe Ratso will be able to give himself priority?

Tired old guy
Tired old guy
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

I hope it’s grandmasters… I’m half Czech and over 60, surely I can weasel my way onto the team, if for no other reason than to march into the stadium with a bevy of 18 year old hotties in tow..jeez, if the talent the Czech Republic puts on pornhub is any indication, where do I apply for dual citizenship?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Tired old guy

You could try to Czech in at the Czech out during the Prague Spring ?

Tired old guy
Tired old guy
8 years ago

Prague Spring.. vaguely familiar, I was 10 and living on Oahu

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago

Ok, so Kolhe becomes Chloe,and we sweep the womens division, Lakey becomes “lanky” Jim ,and we sweep the mens division.

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago

Not with those titties.


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