Just in: $115k for two-day Surf Ranch getaway!

Chas Smith

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A corporate closeness that you won't believe!

Do you work for a company that has corporate retreats? Like, team building activities? Where you maybe travel to a ropes’ course somewhere or go on a cruise? Does your company even offer Surf Ranch as an option? Well maybe get another job because the Jewel of Lemoore is on the market for a neat two day, ten person $115,000 (minus lodging and airfare) getaway.

A very private invitation forwarded anonymously promised a capped crowd of ten, breaking into two groups of 5, and costing $11,500 per surfer including video, coaching, food and transportation from the casino to the Ranch.

50% deposit up front, of course.

And ooooee! Does that sound… rich? Well it’s a once in a lifetime experience so maybe don’t be judgmental.

But using this corporate rate we can really break down what Surf Ranch is valued at per wave. When it was Surf Journalist Day at the Ranch, four men were in the water per hour with six waves being the average. Add another man and I would say four waves so that means eight waves a day x 2 which equals sixteen waves divided by 11,500 and…

…we come to $718.75 per wave.

And ooooee! Does that sound… decadent? Well it’s a once in a lifetime experience so maybe don’t be sanctimonious.

But what else can you buy for $718.75?

A classic horsebit leather loafer from Gucci.

A sac de jour long wallet from Yves St. Laurent.

A soft square optical frame with magnetic clip from Tom Ford.

Etc.

Lakey Peterson
Ms Lakey Peterson, twenty three, world number one, who left her competitors gasping like beached fish at the Roxy Pro. | Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms

Full-length: When Lakey Peterson learned to Fly!

Derek Rielly

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A 15-minute documentary where Filipe Toledo teaches the new world number one Lakey Peterson the glory of flight…

Last February, BeachGrit flew Lakey Peterson and Filipe Toledo to Mexico with the goal of he teaching she the glory of flight. The four-part video series, which was called Girl Goes Into Orbit, was created out of the belief that the only thing holding women back from nailing big airs was the perception they couldn’t do it.

Ten-year-old boys can soar. Why can’t girls?

And Lakey Peterson, who is twenty three, had been known to…jump.

She’d won the American national title years before with an awkward air, but an air nonetheless, and we figured, give us four days, Filipe Toledo (whom the world champion John John Florence studies) as coach and empty beachbreak wedges and Lakey will be rotating.

After Lakey’s win at the Roxy Pro two days ago, and the relative ease with which she achieved it, as well as Filipe’s fervency we figured it’d an appropriate time to release the four-part series but as a single feature.

Watch!

Wilson: “Childbirth gave me strength!”

Chas Smith

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"Unbelievable strength!"

Boy is my face red. I reported, days ago, that surfwear giant Billabong was dropping longtime team rider Joel Parkinson. The rumor floated to me via my dry cleaner, a very believable Korean man, but just today Stab has published that Joel locked into a six-year extension and I am going to have to better vet my dry cleaner’s information moving forward.

How could he have been so wrong? So confused?

I’ll get to the bottom of this but in the meantime, Julian Wilson delivered a very fine post-win interview to a respectable newspaper with quality sources (The Guardian).

I’ve learned a lot about myself at this event and through this injury and the birth of my baby girl Olivia. Honestly, watching the birth of my first child gave me unbelievable strength to just suck it up, come down here and do what I needed to do.

I’ve got huge inspiration from my wife [Ashley] and the whole experience. I’ve got to thank my wife for that.

My number one competitor this last week was myself – testing myself, figuring out where I could go and where I couldn’t.

I was lucky enough to get some good waves come my way and I was able to surf pretty well. I can’t believe I’ve won it.

And are you riding the Julian train right now? Pulling for him to win it all come December? His narrative is very compelling. New father of a daughter, fresh off shoulder injury… in fact, I don’t think there has been a front-runner with a more compelling narrative in quite some time. Of course it is too early to think about December already but if Julian does well at Margaret River, very much in his purview, and does well at Bells then… Well, it is too early.

Ok. I’m off to the dry cleaner’s with a stern face right now. BRB.

Hot Nife: The official sponsor of last place!

Chas Smith

By

420.

You may, or may not, have noticed the Hot Nife advertisements that run on this website from time to time. For the curious, Hot Nife is a marijuana company based in California and specializing in ultra-premium CO2 extracted oil cartridges/vape pens which are sold throughout the state’s premier dispensaries. It is a very fine product, one that I back without caveat, and I am happy for our partnership.

Marijuana consumption can still be a touchy subject for some, even though it is now legal in California, Oregon, Nevada, Washington, etc. but BeachGrit has never been pharisaical. We preach anti-depression here and we preach it in all of its gorgeous forms. Surf, booze, weed.

Thus, it is with great pleasure that I announce weed is partnering with surf and booze at the highest level with Hot Nife becoming the official sponsor of the World Surf League’s last place.

Did you not see?

Amongst other changes for the 2018 season (no Hawaii, no Barton Lynch) the League has changed point totals for wins/losses. First place still gets 10000 but from there the numbers appear a bit random. Second place gets 7800, third gets 6085 and so forth all the way down to twenty-fifth, or last place, which gets… 420.

Now, you of course know that 420 is the numerical code that references marijuana so it makes perfect sense that Hot Nife would pounce upon these colorful losers and desire their company most. Who needs the Jeep Leaderboard Yellow Jersey when you’ve got John John and Kelly?

If one of the power bottoms  just so happens to get 420 for each and every event all 2018 long then Hot Nife will send that best loser a care package featuring very much marijuana. Don’t you wish you surfed on the Championship Tour now?

Well, don’t you?

Pottz: “Hawaii is the Super Bowl of surfing!”

Chas Smith

By

Hawaii is a spectre that will haunt this 2018 season.

The first event is officially in the bag with fine, deserving champions on each side. Julian Wilson and Lakey Peterson both wear victory well and their respective homelands should smile with pride.

The entire show was, well… it seemed… I don’t know. Something was missing. Maybe it was Barton Lynch? Last year’s best commentator was brushed aside this year in apparent cost saving measures which left the standard cast in the booth. Ron Blakey, Pete Mel, Joe Turpel and 1989 World Champion Martin Potter.

They’ve all been with us for years now and… I just don’t know. I want more. I need more. Though, I must say, I did enjoy one moment between Joe Turpel and Pottz.

It came near twenty minutes into the Ace Buchan vs. Owen Wright heat when Turpel, as is his wont, asked Potter a benign question. “What is your favorite event on tour?”

Potter responded, without missing a beat, “Hawaii. It’s the Super Bowl of surfing.”

Now, do you think that Pottz has yet to be informed that Pipeline, the WSL’s Championship Tour’s only stop in Hawaii, has been axed? That professional surfers will no longer travel to the Aloha State in order to do battle on the big stage?

Or do you think he knew and was furious about the decision, deciding to protest in his own small way?

The broader issue, here, is that Pipeline will hover over the 2018 season like a spectre. It will haunt the proceedings and I wonder if the League will have to, in the end, capitulate and keep Pipe in December as the last stop for the next ten years. Or as long as Pottz lives. It is one thing to thumb a nose at Honolulu’s mayor. Quite another thing, though, to change the flow of history.

Hmmmm.

Photo: Jack English
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