Hawaii is a spectre that will haunt this 2018
season.
The first event is officially in the bag with
fine, deserving champions on each side. Julian Wilson and Lakey
Peterson both wear victory well and their respective homelands
should smile with pride.
The entire show was, well… it seemed… I don’t know. Something
was missing. Maybe it was Barton Lynch? Last year’s best
commentator was brushed aside this year in apparent cost saving
measures which left the standard cast in the booth. Ron Blakey,
Pete Mel, Joe Turpel and 1989 World Champion Martin Potter.
They’ve all been with us for years now and… I just don’t know. I
want more. I need more. Though, I must say, I did enjoy one moment
between Joe Turpel and Pottz.
It came near twenty minutes into the Ace Buchan vs. Owen Wright
heat when Turpel, as is his wont, asked Potter a benign question.
“What is your favorite event on tour?”
Potter responded, without missing a beat, “Hawaii. It’s the
Super Bowl of surfing.”
Now, do you think that Pottz has yet to be informed that
Pipeline, the WSL’s Championship Tour’s only stop in Hawaii, has
been axed? That professional surfers will no longer travel to the
Aloha State in order to do battle on the big stage?
Or do you think he knew and was furious about the decision,
deciding to protest in his own small way?
The broader issue, here, is that Pipeline will hover over the
2018 season like a spectre. It will haunt the proceedings and I
wonder if the League will have to, in the end, capitulate and keep
Pipe in December as the last stop for the next ten years. Or as
long as Pottz lives. It is one thing to thumb a nose at Honolulu’s
mayor. Quite another thing, though, to change the flow of
history.
Hmmmm.
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The male gender category champion Julian Wilson. |
Photo: WSL
Julian Wilson and Lakey Peterson win respective
gender categories at semi-awesome Kirra…
Plenty of thinking time in the scotopic light 500 yards
or so out off Big Groyne Kirra this morning in the cyclone
swell. Swimming, blue foamy racing in the rip up to North
Kirra. Lots of water moving. Thick beasts unloading on the Big
Groyne part of the sandbar.
A day for Kirra Specialists, thought I, or dumb luck from rank
virgins.
It is a wave for specialists and with Kelly a no-show, Mick,
Joel and Steph out the closest thing to a specialist left in the
draw was Julian Wilson.
Obscene screams woke me in the dark. A fox in the henhouse? I
ran outside with a headlamp and found a python strangling a bat. By
the time I’d loaded the Camry the snake was gone and the dead bat
lay prone on the ground. I read as a bad portent.
Owen failed to load, Ace spiked a couple medium-sized waves for
an easy win in the first heat of the day. The last time the comp
ended with a Kirra final day was way back in 2013, the last great
Year of the Kelly Era, at the start of the Speaker reign and before
pro surfing was even a twinkle in Sophie Goldschmidt’s eye. Kelly’s
“honeypot” strategy netted him multiple ten-point rides and a
memorable final ride with priority against a bird flipping
Parko.
You recall, surely.
Heat two of the quarters featured no Kirra specialists and
exposed a gap in Filipe’s resume for World Champ. He couldn’t best
Tomas Hermes, who wouldn’t have made a heat of the Kirra Surfriders
club round. Kelly would have watched in horror.
From the front bar of the Kirra surf club the good old boys
enjoyed Wilson’s easy win over M-Rod and erupted for Griff’s triple
banger ten-pointer. It was a wave that rescued the morning from
unflattering comparisons with 2013. “Fucken Mick woulda been
getting’ them all fucken day long maate!” said a florid-faced bloke
beside me from between magnificently mottled jowls.
Wilson/Colapinto, Ace/Hermes Semi’s. Not a Finals roster anyone
in their right mind could have foreseen.
Do you have a favourite Kirra Specialist?
You might think of Michael Peterson or Wayne “Rabbit”
Bartholomew maybe Kelly “Willie” Slater.
Or, if you live locally, Sean “Reg” Riley, Neal Purchase Jnr,
Jason “China” O’Connor or Nick Vasicek might come to mind. My fav
is an unknown Kiwi guy named Gizza I shared a tenement in Surfers
Paradise with. A small-time eccy and weed dealer Gizza had an
unholy love of Kirra that he would sacrifice anything to
consummate. One golden afternoon with Kirra pumping we all piled
into a Valiant Safari and headed to Kirra, Gizza’s heavily pregnant
gal included. She had a doctor’s appointment and Gizza was expected
to attend. Outside the Doc’s on a seedy part of the Palm Beach
strip she piled out and eyeballed our Kiwi anti-hero, “Come on
Gizza, lets go”.
Gizza sat as still as a buddha and uttered the immortal words,
“Hey babe, all I know is Kirra’s pumping and I’m out there.”
We drove off with his gal screaming at the top of her lungs,
“Fuck you, fuck you Gizza!”
I don’t know if it was worth it for Giz. Six months later he was
dead in a bathtub.
It’s that kind of wave.
I couldn’t have picked Ace Buchan to final at the Quik Pro
despite insanely sharp, error-free, high-drifting hooks on his
backhand. It just always seemed like someone better would topple
him. But no-one did. And he kept air-dropping into kegs and making
waves, to meet Julian in the Final.
Australia’s second-best ever PM Paul Keating famously said “You
change the Prime Minister, you change the country.”
As for PM’s so for pro surfing CEO’s. Rabbit Bartholomew birthed
the Dream Tour and presided over the Kelly/Andy rivalry, what
historians in future will refer to as the Golden Age of Pro
Surfing. He was the last True Believer to head the organisation.
Brodie Carr fended off a Rebel Tour and rewrote contracts to
appease Kelly Slater.
In his zeal to create private stadiums out of public space, Paul
Speaker launched aggressive ambit claims over everything that
happened at a WSL event. The atmosphere created was authoritarian
and oppressive, a heavy hand on the shoulder always seemed nearby
for freelancers like me, maybe rendition to a secret black ops WSL
re-education centre.
And Sophie?
Clueless by her own admission she is what writer Tim Winton
calls a “citizen in a strange world.” But she has loosened the
program up. The ambit claims seem a little less obvious, maybe
because she realises they are unenforceable and reliant on the
goodwill of democratically elected institutions who hand out
taxpayer-funded permits. Permits that can be denied.
But, more likely, because Sophie’s reign has a technological
“Final” solution to the untameable ocean. With the tub comes the
stadium and the timetable, the broadcast, the tickets, all the
things that have eluded the sport so far. You can see why she would
loosen her grip on “ocean” surfing and embrace the wave system. The
fractured sport she creates will be her legacy and all the King’s
horses won’t be able to put the pieces together again.
The gamble to hold off the event for a couple hours paid off
massively after an epic final between J-Dub and Ace. Ace was
comboed once, then twice, after Julian ducked and weaved through
sandy caverns, the first of which was a ten all day long. Ace kept
fighting deserving the mantle of Kirra specialist but Julian was
too strong, too good.
Couldn’t have picked the men’s final but it would have been a
travesty if Lakey Peterson didn’t hoist the trophy. She dominated a
one-sided final.
If beauty is truth and truth is beauty then the great deceiver
Satan himself must have created Queensland to spite God because
no-one ages uglier and happier than a Queenslander.
No-one sacrifices more to ride the most gorgeous tubes on earth.
Their youth, their beauty, gone in a blur of blue-water tubes and
alcoholic excess.
Except Julian Wilson. He’ll be beautiful for ever.
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Final Results:
1 – Julian Wilson (AUS) 17.43
2 – Adrian Buchan (AUS) 15.10
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Semifinal
Results:
SF 1: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 10.00 def. Tomas Hermes (BRA) 9.17
SF 2: Julian Wilson (AUS) 13.77 def. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
11.66
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Quarterfinal
Results:
QF 1: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 13.50 def. Owen Wright (AUS) 2.50
QF 2: Tomas Hermes (BRA) 8.73 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 7.33
QF 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) 14.44 def. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
10.00
QF 4: Griffin Colapinto (USA) 16.43 def. Michel Bourez (PYF)
12.44
Roxy Pro Gold Coast Final Results:
1 – Lakey Peterson (USA) 15.67
2 – Keely Andrew (AUS) 5.67
Roxy Pro Gold Coast Semifinal Results:
Heat 1: Lakey Peterson (USA) 11.00 def. Malia Manuel (HAW) 8.33
Heat 2: Keely Andrew (AUS) 7.50 def. Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS)
6.77
2018 WSL Men’s CT Jeep Leaderboard (After Quiksilver Pro
Gold Coast):
1 -Julian Wilson (AUS) 10,000 pts
2 – Adrian Buchan (AUS) 7,800 pts
3 – Griffin Colapinto (USA) 6,085 pts
3 – Tomas Hermes (BRA) 6,085 pts
The template for the WSL comes straight from the
ATP. Who knew? Bobby knew!
I thought it was common knowledge that the WSL is built
on the blueprint of the Association of Tennis Professionals
(ATP). The contest/tournament calendar, the ranking
system, the contest format and now the exhibition extras – all the
same as the ATP.
It makes sense, therefore, that professional surfing’s owner has
turned the reigns over to Sophie Goldschmidt with her four years
experience as a vice-president at the WTA (Women’s Tennis
Association).
It ain’t sexy but it ain’t crazy, if you dig.
Listen. If you were a minnow sport like surfing and looking to a
big brother for advice, tennis makes sense. Count the similarities:
an individual sport, competitors from a wide variety of nations,
tournaments scattered around the world. And tennis has provided
household names and reaped fortunes for over half a century.
But Tennis is a rich man’s game. The outfits, the tradition, the
silence. That ain’t surf or it at least it wasn’t.
And isn’t tennis really about the four grand slams? Does anyone
actually tune in for anything else?
Tennis certainly doesn’t have super-star names who don’t compete
but attract fabulous salaries and starry eyes for knocking the ball
around the practise court. There’s no Dane Reynolds, no Creed
McTaggart, no Craig Anderson. And judging from tennis’s moves
trying to shorten and re-jig the format over the past few years,
you know they’re having a golf-type issue in trying to appeal to
the new generation.
If we look purely from a governing body’s format, what has the
WSL borrowed?
1. Tournament Structure – Tennis has the
Challenger Tour and the World Tour. Surfing has the Qualification
Series and Championship Tour. Both formats allow competitors to
earn points through lower events and use these points to qualify
for higher-rated events.
2. Tournament Funding – The level of an ATP
event (points available), all depends on the prizemoney offered,
and as a result the more funded to the governing body. Want to
stage the ATP1000 in your crummy little neighbourhood, just cough
up the cash and it’s yours. Surfing is the same game. Fork out the
money and you can have a QS10,000 at your local break.
3. Hopman Cup / Founders Cup – Did anyone else
notice that Sophie’s first big splash, The Founders Cup, takes its
colours from the Hopman Cup? International all-team tournament with
mixed gender teams? Hopman.
4. Nitto ATP Finals / WSL Mentawaii Finals
– The WSL will introduce a finals series to finish of
the year in 2019. When this was announced everyone’s eyes went to a
NBA/NFL/MLB finals format thinking those jocks were the
inspiration. It was actually tennis that has had a finals format
for years now. With an Emirates-sponsored ATP Race to
London points ladder.
What does the future hold? Tennis has pushed towards indoor
single day/night exhibitions to lure millennials in with loud
music, flashy lights and a shorter time frame, the Laver Cup for
example.
What’s surfing got? Pools, pools, pools.
And another similarity, to quote Billie Jean King, “Tennis is a
perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere
of total tranquility.”
Multiple news outlets reported, yesterday, on
the World Surf League’s alleged edict to
photographers/videographers not to focus on female professional
surfers’ rumps whilst duck diving/bottom turning. The original
story appeared in Stab, though the WSL’s Vice-President of
Global Brand Identity, Mr. Dave Prodan, told the Herald
that Stab‘s reporting was “largely
inaccurate.”
Still, a fun enough moment though it did not seem particularly
noteworthy to me. I don’t ever recall seeing very tightly framed
shots of female professional surfers’ rumps during a webcast nor
have I ever read any complaints about any uncomfortable leering by
the WSL’s lensmen.
Still. Fun. And even more fun when seven-time world champ Layne
Beachley goes on the radio to discuss.
Now, where would you think Ms. Beachley would come down on the
issue? Do you think she would decry blatant sexism whilst praising
the WSL on its (now debunked) stricter guidelines? Well you are
wrong. Layne says bring the sexy!
I respect the fact women can choose the bikinis they wish to
surf in based on comfort or practicality. It’s up to them to choose
how they want to present themselves. I think it’s a step in the
wrong direction as far as telling cameramen that they can’t film
girls duck-diving or doing bottom turns, because that’s a natural
part of surfing. I appreciate the “zooming in” part though, I don’t
think there’s any need to zoom in on it.
I’ve always been a proponent of “sex sells”, and that was a
part of the generation that I came through, and we just struggled
to get any attention and recognition, let alone
sponsorships.
We’ve broken down those barriers and now the women are
actually embracing there femininity, their beauty, their style,
their grace and their sexiness. And if that’s helping them sell the
sport and improve their chances of being supported throughout their
careers, then good luck to them.
Such a wonderfully reasoned response in these shrill times.
Don’t you think?
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Julian Wilson swings into the quarter-finals, despite
rupturing his AC joint at the end of January. Here, with big
brother Bart. | Photo: @tsherms
Day 4, Quik Pro: “Zero tolerance for score
faking!”
Mick Fanning disappears; Filipe soars; judges
discover the joys of tough love.
Kelly and I share many traits and life circumstances,
including teenaged daughters, bad backs, suspicion of the media and
bad insomnia. Laying awake listening to the vast
industrial hum of 999 Twin Towns pokies in the wee hours I fretted
that calling the mood yesterday soviet and sour was too harsh, just
a reflection of my inner state after too many Coronas drunk with
the great Mullet.
When Kelly announced his withdrawal I thought: the sport has
moved on, you won’t be missed, we’ll get on fine without you. But
we didn’t. Not yesterday anyhow. Save Medina and Parkinson, a world
without Kelly felt smaller, more constrained and predictable: a QS
World with a bush league vibe. The surfing, in waves tailor-made
for flaring and high perf, was safety to the max and I am very,
very, very, very happy that Pritamo Ahrendt scored it accordingly.
A ballsy statement.
Today, was different.
Launching the Fanning Foamy out of Mermaids corner in the dark I
got throttled by a squadron of gaping Snapper rocks caverns (do not
Google) and smoked down to Rainbow Bay. A close range cyclone
swell. I know this fucking music! Every Queensland pointbreak
surfer does. Neil Young and Crazy Horse,
Ragged Glory. Find the bass line and enjoy
the guitar squalls. Shut up and paddle.
The crowd finally engaged with the surfing, but it wasn’t
Fanning they cheered. It was Toledo vs Ferreira that raised the
crowd from three days of somnolence.
After watching the Fanning Coffin heat, magnificently eulogised
by Joe Turpe,l I realised there really is only one path forwards
for a man described as an “angel” by Owen Wright. He must become
the next Secretary-General of the United Nations. Imagine the
global one-two punch of Parko as Mayor of Coolangatta and Fanning
as Secretary-General of the UN. That would really put pro surfing
into audience growth mode.
Italo’s backhand, best on tour, seemed undeniable against
Filipe. But the crowd thought otherwise and judges seemed to
cripple it by a crucial margin. Incensed, I stormed the media room
to demand a judge breakdown. The spread on the best scoring waves
differed by a point and a half which would have made all the
difference in a heat decided by less than a point but Filipe had
the crowd, had the jazz and by close of play the ends justified the
means.
Mikey Wright has a schtick but it’s real, at least as far as the
old skool warm-up goes: throwing a football around, the jumping
jacks and the bush hat and big shaggy dog. Big man up close,
well-muscled, 15-17% body fat. Could be a second-rower or a wide
receiver. Behind the bogan facade are rock-solid skills and the
crucial trait of composure.
Mikey Wright warm-up routine with dog etc. Photo:
Longtom
“Whats the strategy against Medina?” I asked his coach Troy
Brooks.
“Start strong and find the better waves. Mikey will do the
bigger turns.”
That is a supremely confident strategy for a Wildcard to take
into a heat against a World Champ and event winner.
Verging on arrogance. He will do bigger turns than Medina? OK,
lets see it.
Medina was preparing up on the rocks. Strange scene. Very quiet,
very holy. A crowd was gathered around. Girls on their haunches,
boys with heads bowed. Medina himself was still and silent. Seconds
passed like minutes. Sweat flowed like rivers. Then he raised his
head and started to move. The silent crowd erupted with cheers and
hallelujahs and speaking in tongues. A feeling like electricity
passed through the crowd in sizzling ripples. A Brazilian girl fell
backwards into me. I put my hand up to say it’s OK.
She said, “No prablem, eets tha life man”.
Mikey put the game plan into action, perfectly. Big strong, raw
opening ride with completed powerful turns. Did exactly what he did
to John Florence: overpowered him in the opening exchange to the
tune of a two-point spread. A two- point spread is hard to overcome
if a surfer can maintain composure. It was wonderful to watch
Medina try and jam against Ragged Glory and find his own
rhythm.
The judges were showing zero tolerance for score manufacturing
and faking. Medina got a four for the best backhand blast I’ve ever
seen. That turn felt like a kick in the guts from a mule, on the
beach, well in the Corona Pavilion. The Australian Mullet put
another big, brutal ride on the scoreboard and then let Medina
swing away on shittier waves, only losing priority with two minutes
to go. Gabby got choked out by the clock. Gone.
“How do you rate that performance?” I asked Troy Brooks.
“On par, for Mikey,” he said.
“Anything to improve upon?”
“He made a tactical error two minutes to go handing over
priority but had such a mental advantage from the opening spread he
got away with it.”
The Colapinto/Parkinson heat had mad drama. Gaping holes
spitting from deep behind the rocks (no Google) were waiting to be
stuffed by J-Parko. But it was Griff who proved to be the rarest of
all phenomena: a fully formed rookie. He had the strategy
elasticity to lash the wider sections with an abundance of
repertoire and then out Parko Parko when he bomb-dropped into a
bulbous keg and slithered out a tiny foamy hole at the top. If Team
Parko review the tape honestly they might revise retirement plans.
There is a world of pain ahead in those match-ups for Parko. For
real.
My notes go squiffy here, sometime after noon. Coronas were
making me see double, the Queensland sun cooked my brain but I
think I had fully flip-flopped on the Slater position by then. The
sport is fine without him. It’s just the dead wood of round two
that distorted perspective.
Fanning’s last heat was odd, to the max. Like Medina, a small
crowd gathered around him as he prepared. The mood amongst the
crowd was tense and expectant. Fanning rocked off, people pushed
closer to the sea. The webcast gave almost zero indication of the
crazy energy focussing on Snapper Rocks.
But it wasn’t Mick who harnessed it. The big O grabbed the heat
by the neck like a pitbull and just savaged it. From a close
vantage point it looked very committed and big surfing.Mick
struggled, got a legrope tangled around his feet, stumbled,
couldn’t find a deep tube and in the end went out with a whimper.
Fanning. Out!
The crowd gathered, waiting to pay their respects. But Mick went
around the back of the main WSL structure and never re-appeared. A
strange feeling came over the crowd. Was that it? It ends like
this?
Filipe’s first ride passed in this strange, respectful silence.
The great Mick Fanning had just surfed his last heat at Snapper,
something should be happening. Some ceremony to commemorate the
occasion. Not just business as usual.
But nothing did and on Filipe’s second wave, about which my
notes read: Say fucking what?! wrt some piece of outrageous
showmanship, maybe the tweaked club sandwich, the crowd erupted and
Mick was……..was forgotten. Terrible to say, but true. Finally
judges saw what they wanted to see and Toledo started strafing the
scoreboard with 8’s and 9’s.
By chance, I saw a line of people stretched down the street down
near McDonalds Greenmount. Families clutching posters mostly and
there, wearing dark shades, Michael Fanning, an angel to all was
discharging his duties as a World Champion surfer, apparently, as
far as I could see, with great distinction.
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Round 3 Results:
Heat 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 14.50 def. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 9.04
Heat 2: Mick Fanning (AUS) 11.67 def. Conner Coffin (USA) 7.37
Heat 3: Tomas Hermes (BRA) 12.40 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 9.60.
Heat 4: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 14.60 def. Italo Ferreira (BRA)
13.70
Heat 5: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 13.36 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
13.10
Heat 6: Mikey Wright (AUS) 16.07 def. Gabriel Medina (BRA)
14.90
Heat 7: Julian Wilson (AUS) 7.30 def. Michael February (ZAF)
7.10
Heat 8: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 15.26 def. Frederico Morais (PRT)
11.10
Heat 9: Griffin Colapinto (USA) 13.50 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS)
12.94
Heat 10: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 15.07 def. Wade Carmichael (AUS)
13.60
Heat 11: Michel Bourez (PYF) 12.50 def. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
6.43
Heat 12: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 15.00 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF)
14.40
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Round 4 Results:
Heat 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 17.00, Tomas Hermes (BRA) 11.20, Mick
Fanning (AUS) 10.43
Heat 2: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 15.70, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 14.60, Mikey
Wright (AUS) 11.20
Heat 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) 15.97, Griffin Colapinto (USA) 13.83,
Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 11.67
Heat 4: Michel Bourez (PYF) 13.97, Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 13.83,
Adriano de Souza (BRA) 13.53
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Quarterfinal
Matchups:
QF 1: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
QF 2: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Tomas Hermes (BRA)
QF 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
QF 4: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Roxy Pro Gold Coast Semifinal Matchups:
Heat 1: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Malia Manuel (HAW)
Heat 2: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) vs. Keely Andrew (AUS)
