Mick Fanning disappears; Filipe soars; judges discover the joys of tough love.
Kelly and I share many traits and life circumstances, including teenaged daughters, bad backs, suspicion of the media and bad insomnia. Laying awake listening to the vast industrial hum of 999 Twin Towns pokies in the wee hours I fretted that calling the mood yesterday soviet and sour was too harsh, just a reflection of my inner state after too many Coronas drunk with the great Mullet.
When Kelly announced his withdrawal I thought: the sport has moved on, you won’t be missed, we’ll get on fine without you. But we didn’t. Not yesterday anyhow. Save Medina and Parkinson, a world without Kelly felt smaller, more constrained and predictable: a QS World with a bush league vibe. The surfing, in waves tailor-made for flaring and high perf, was safety to the max and I am very, very, very, very happy that Pritamo Ahrendt scored it accordingly. A ballsy statement.
Today, was different.
Launching the Fanning Foamy out of Mermaids corner in the dark I got throttled by a squadron of gaping Snapper rocks caverns (do not Google) and smoked down to Rainbow Bay. A close range cyclone swell. I know this fucking music! Every Queensland pointbreak surfer does. Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Ragged Glory. Find the bass line and enjoy the guitar squalls. Shut up and paddle.
The crowd finally engaged with the surfing, but it wasn’t Fanning they cheered. It was Toledo vs Ferreira that raised the crowd from three days of somnolence.
After watching the Fanning Coffin heat, magnificently eulogised by Joe Turpe,l I realised there really is only one path forwards for a man described as an “angel” by Owen Wright. He must become the next Secretary-General of the United Nations. Imagine the global one-two punch of Parko as Mayor of Coolangatta and Fanning as Secretary-General of the UN. That would really put pro surfing into audience growth mode.
Italo’s backhand, best on tour, seemed undeniable against Filipe. But the crowd thought otherwise and judges seemed to cripple it by a crucial margin. Incensed, I stormed the media room to demand a judge breakdown. The spread on the best scoring waves differed by a point and a half which would have made all the difference in a heat decided by less than a point but Filipe had the crowd, had the jazz and by close of play the ends justified the means.
Mikey Wright has a schtick but it’s real, at least as far as the old skool warm-up goes: throwing a football around, the jumping jacks and the bush hat and big shaggy dog. Big man up close, well-muscled, 15-17% body fat. Could be a second-rower or a wide receiver. Behind the bogan facade are rock-solid skills and the crucial trait of composure.
“Whats the strategy against Medina?” I asked his coach Troy Brooks.
“Start strong and find the better waves. Mikey will do the bigger turns.”
That is a supremely confident strategy for a Wildcard to take into a heat against a World Champ and event winner.
Verging on arrogance. He will do bigger turns than Medina? OK, lets see it.
Medina was preparing up on the rocks. Strange scene. Very quiet, very holy. A crowd was gathered around. Girls on their haunches, boys with heads bowed. Medina himself was still and silent. Seconds passed like minutes. Sweat flowed like rivers. Then he raised his head and started to move. The silent crowd erupted with cheers and hallelujahs and speaking in tongues. A feeling like electricity passed through the crowd in sizzling ripples. A Brazilian girl fell backwards into me. I put my hand up to say it’s OK.
She said, “No prablem, eets tha life man”.
Mikey put the game plan into action, perfectly. Big strong, raw opening ride with completed powerful turns. Did exactly what he did to John Florence: overpowered him in the opening exchange to the tune of a two-point spread. A two- point spread is hard to overcome if a surfer can maintain composure. It was wonderful to watch Medina try and jam against Ragged Glory and find his own rhythm.
The judges were showing zero tolerance for score manufacturing and faking. Medina got a four for the best backhand blast I’ve ever seen. That turn felt like a kick in the guts from a mule, on the beach, well in the Corona Pavilion. The Australian Mullet put another big, brutal ride on the scoreboard and then let Medina swing away on shittier waves, only losing priority with two minutes to go. Gabby got choked out by the clock. Gone.
“How do you rate that performance?” I asked Troy Brooks.
“On par, for Mikey,” he said.
“Anything to improve upon?”
“He made a tactical error two minutes to go handing over priority but had such a mental advantage from the opening spread he got away with it.”
The Colapinto/Parkinson heat had mad drama. Gaping holes spitting from deep behind the rocks (no Google) were waiting to be stuffed by J-Parko. But it was Griff who proved to be the rarest of all phenomena: a fully formed rookie. He had the strategy elasticity to lash the wider sections with an abundance of repertoire and then out Parko Parko when he bomb-dropped into a bulbous keg and slithered out a tiny foamy hole at the top. If Team Parko review the tape honestly they might revise retirement plans. There is a world of pain ahead in those match-ups for Parko. For real.
My notes go squiffy here, sometime after noon. Coronas were making me see double, the Queensland sun cooked my brain but I think I had fully flip-flopped on the Slater position by then. The sport is fine without him. It’s just the dead wood of round two that distorted perspective.
Fanning’s last heat was odd, to the max. Like Medina, a small crowd gathered around him as he prepared. The mood amongst the crowd was tense and expectant. Fanning rocked off, people pushed closer to the sea. The webcast gave almost zero indication of the crazy energy focussing on Snapper Rocks.
But it wasn’t Mick who harnessed it. The big O grabbed the heat by the neck like a pitbull and just savaged it. From a close vantage point it looked very committed and big surfing.Mick struggled, got a legrope tangled around his feet, stumbled, couldn’t find a deep tube and in the end went out with a whimper. Fanning. Out!
The crowd gathered, waiting to pay their respects. But Mick went around the back of the main WSL structure and never re-appeared. A strange feeling came over the crowd. Was that it? It ends like this?
Filipe’s first ride passed in this strange, respectful silence. The great Mick Fanning had just surfed his last heat at Snapper, something should be happening. Some ceremony to commemorate the occasion. Not just business as usual.
But nothing did and on Filipe’s second wave, about which my notes read: Say fucking what?! wrt some piece of outrageous showmanship, maybe the tweaked club sandwich, the crowd erupted and Mick was……..was forgotten. Terrible to say, but true. Finally judges saw what they wanted to see and Toledo started strafing the scoreboard with 8’s and 9’s.
By chance, I saw a line of people stretched down the street down near McDonalds Greenmount. Families clutching posters mostly and there, wearing dark shades, Michael Fanning, an angel to all was discharging his duties as a World Champion surfer, apparently, as far as I could see, with great distinction.
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Round 3 Results:
Heat 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 14.50 def. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 9.04
Heat 2: Mick Fanning (AUS) 11.67 def. Conner Coffin (USA) 7.37
Heat 3: Tomas Hermes (BRA) 12.40 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 9.60.
Heat 4: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 14.60 def. Italo Ferreira (BRA) 13.70
Heat 5: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 13.36 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 13.10
Heat 6: Mikey Wright (AUS) 16.07 def. Gabriel Medina (BRA) 14.90
Heat 7: Julian Wilson (AUS) 7.30 def. Michael February (ZAF) 7.10
Heat 8: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 15.26 def. Frederico Morais (PRT) 11.10
Heat 9: Griffin Colapinto (USA) 13.50 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 12.94
Heat 10: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 15.07 def. Wade Carmichael (AUS) 13.60
Heat 11: Michel Bourez (PYF) 12.50 def. Connor O’Leary (AUS) 6.43
Heat 12: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 15.00 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 14.40
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Round 4 Results:
Heat 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 17.00, Tomas Hermes (BRA) 11.20, Mick Fanning (AUS) 10.43
Heat 2: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 15.70, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 14.60, Mikey Wright (AUS) 11.20
Heat 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) 15.97, Griffin Colapinto (USA) 13.83, Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 11.67
Heat 4: Michel Bourez (PYF) 13.97, Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 13.83, Adriano de Souza (BRA) 13.53
Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast Quarterfinal Matchups:
QF 1: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
QF 2: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Tomas Hermes (BRA)
QF 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
QF 4: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Roxy Pro Gold Coast Semifinal Matchups:
Heat 1: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Malia Manuel (HAW)
Heat 2: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) vs. Keely Andrew (AUS)
Awesome write up. Haven’t been able to watch any yet but this is probably more satisfying. Only criticism is that it was so long my better half got annoyed that I had stolen her phone.
yep.
Whats the go today Longtom? Looks like Kirra is being prepped but seems a little unnecessary to me. Surfed Kirra last night and swell just wasn’t right for it. (Sunday arvo however was a different story). Will they run at Kirra just because they have set up the infrastructure?
yep.
15-17% body fat? Have we found our elusive WSL fat cunt? More like 10-12 me thinks.
The body fat % includes essential and storage body fat. In the case of Mikey Wright, the % may be skewed by the storage body fat in his mullet.
Sounds a bit fishy to me .
And his wallet.
Let’s hope that today Longtom, you shun the elitist Corona Pavilion and catch a buzz off Africanized bees, Brazilian bumps and alcohol tinged sweaty loafers. Be the People™.
You must be saving that Michael Rodriguez for a special occasion.
Correct, only so much space but if you read comments from over a week ago M Rod well and truly on my radar.
Second last of my boys left….I had Gabby, Italo, Jordy and Filipe.
Kirra’s pumping, Mick must be spewing. Denied a fairytale finish.
Not sure Italo is better than Gabby but at least you described Gabby’s blasts well. So fast & powerful. Brilliant. M Rod lots of flair & great body language. Looks the real deal. Nice objective article you wrote.
fuck I am watching the Snapper cam right now and rarely have I seen such a staggering array of utter kookery. Skis breaking every law in the book, driving raggedly and incompetently through whitewater full of crowds of people trying badly to paddle out. A pack sitting about 150m wide of the actual takeoff. Jesus is this what happens every swell up there.
twas great fun on the blue foamy no leggy. Ended with a long swim
the skis in the lineup would scare the living shit out of me!
Squashtaled. Brutal. No wonder he gave that kid his board. Speaking of which, there’s more to that decision that should be discussed. Chas? I think the decision was emotional, but not from the class act, what a great guy, true Champion move giving that kid his board narrative the media is writing. More like a sober Eugene. Ever seen sober Eugene? I think we did right then. Fuck you, fuck this, I’m pissed, and fuck this board too! How many times have retiring former Champs given away their last contest sled at their home break? Bet he gets that board back, or at least asks. Like a pro baseball player and a home run ball.
And an unrivalled lexicon!
I hate hackysack philosophising.
Not quite! Brain-wave entrainment using time-varying magnetic fields 😉
I like the sound S snail.
Derek has my deets.
Right on. Going away for a month tomorrow so will get to you when I’m back.
Longtime how can I get hold of you? I have something that will help vanquish the insomnia.
Seemed like judges had no love for backside surfing, until Owen.
Big points for Owen’s backside tube riding or turns ?
A Dermatologist’s Dream and whiteys’ melanomic reality .
but that portugese english accent is a little hard on the ear
Sorry Long…
If I was you… I would love hear that portuguese english accent all day… especially in thne morning!
Oh… she is from POA!!!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Is that good or bad . POA ? Porto Alegre? Point of Action ? Power of Attorney?
Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, James!
The most beautiful place to brazilian women, along side Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais.
Of course here in Rio, Florianópolis and… Goiânia, very close!…
Obrigado Paulo de T. Got stuck in France with Latin ladies and never got to see the girl from Ipanema .
James I assure you … Porto Alegre is paradise, to go crazy… to lose the line and the sense… mind
South of the country, the city without beaches, which are on the coast, Torres and Tramandaí …
But wave is that matters least …
It’s really nonsense!
whole lotta heartbreak there
you wouldn’t have fun on the beach if you hated every Brazilian gal who bumped into you….
I spent my whole life trying to bump into girls on the beach !
The middle class Canadian Bogan/Redneck would definitely find himself at home among the Australian Surfing population. The only difference is that our tradesmen have guns with fins in the back of their utes ( pick up . I learnt that from truck tunes 3 for kids ) .
Great recap of the day – I wish it included Kanoa’s heat – which impressed me with his added power this year.
Yes, Storm Boy called his pelican Mr Percival and not me old mate Percy even before he was shipped off to private school . Possibly explained by the absence of convicts in South Australia .
There was a fucking shark roaming the lineup during Round 4 Heat 4. I am sitting here watching the replay and saw a nice sized fin pop up during an Adriano de Souza wave replay.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Check it here at 2:09:55
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Image of the fin included below. How was this not seen/discussed!?
Good eye my friend prob a tiger that got through the nets
looks a little dark to be a tiger?
What do you think it is? Surely it’s not a white or a bronzi
It,s a fucking dolphin you idiots.
On second thought it’s a manatee
Could be a fin from Greg Webber’s Pintail twin fin ?
Stop cock blocking the narrative!
that’s rough like a lie in Kikuyu grass!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
nice caption work
It could have paid Mick some respect and eaten him in his final heat at Snapper. Selfish fucking sharks.
Lovely to see the distractions of fatherhood, insomnia and pain embellishing Julian’s competitive act .
I don’t know whether it’s me, Pottz’s trousers, the wave, Striders sun burnt knees or what but I can no longer watch the web cast. It’s so utterly painful.
The WSL is done. We are seeing the dying gasps. They will finish out the next 3 years, but after that, not going to happen. You can only receive so much charity from rich people before they lose interest and move on to something else. It is such a money-sucking, professional sports wanna-be clusterfuck, and trying to call it anything else is just ridiculous. If I were a shitty surfer slogging it out on the QS, I would start making a resume to enter the real world.
I don’t know how anyone can sit thru a webcast. My main method for watching is the YOUTUBE RECAPS – I MIGHT make an exception for the FINAL – NOT HAPPY they failed to post the recaps of the women’s heats on YOUTUBE
Gambling makes it far more interesting to watch full heats
yeah me too, find it hard to sit through . . . usually I speed it up in you tube or fast forward through ’em, unless I like that surfers style
Pottz & Turps are so predictable & rhetorical. New blood desperately needed. Strider & Blakey are good. The important thing is to mostly stay in the moment & be fresh & accurate.