How well do you know the men that hang professional surfing in the balance?
I will tell you what, the 2018 World Surf League’s Championship Tour kickoff yesterday was fantastic. It showcased drama, skill, new blood and old hands but most of all Steve “Longtom” Shearer’s jump back into the saddle. If I’ve written it once, I’ve written it a thousand times… a day of professional surfing doesn’t end until Longtom says it does. I have no doubt these years will be looked back upon with wide-eyed wonderment by the future’s children. They will read The Collected Works of Professional Surf Contest Coverage 2016-2019, skipping every collected work except his and they will marvel.
Longtom, anyhow, ended yesterday’s offering by pointing to the fact Ben Dunn is now a surf judge and has been for five years.
Ben Dunn. What in the world? And I decided then and there to go on a mission to uncover each and every WSL CT judge. It would be hard work, seeing as the League likes to keep them sequestered but I was hungry and driven. Nothing but nothing would stand in the way of true, hard-nose surf journalism and…
…oh. The WSL published a whole story about the judges, complete with first day of school pictures weeks ago and Tinder profile question/answers. It is all quite brilliant and go here to see but one thing was left off. Which sort of music each judge listens to. Should we speculate together? I’ll start.
Head Judge: Pritamo Ahrendt (40)
Maybe listens to: LCD Soundsystem
Priority judge: Iain Buchanan (56)
Maybe listens to: Bon Scott era AC/DC
Senior judge: Ettiene Buys (41)
Maybe listens to: Vintage Kenny G
Judge: Luis Dantas (44)
Maybe listens to: Antonio Carlos Jobim
Judge: Mikel Zalakain (41)
Maybe listens to: Fleetwood Mac
Judge: Ben Lowe (38)
Maybe listens to: Powderfinger
Judge: Luiz Fernando (44)
Maybe listens to: Shakira
Judge: Luke Redding (31)
Maybe listens to: Young Thug
Now it’s your turn!
But first… this one goes out to Ben Dunn. Welcome to the show!
Not a single American judge………
For fuck’s sake, back the camera off a bit, eh?
Can’t complain there is no ex pro’s on the panel
Mikel Zalakain is Kazakhstan’s finest judge
Ha. They must be all British.
Ben Lowes teeth look like Stonehenge !
Sorry Ben.
Depression-era Australian term suggesting the subject’s depth of knowledge is is great he can afford to forget shit and still be just appallingly knowledgeable.
appalling is the key word in that sentence
well stick with “appalling” then
Ha exactly! Especially Ben.
Pottz is “playing cat and mouse” again. God some of his shit talk. Fuck. How is he still employed?
Pritamo Ahrendt – Dan Finnerty (mostly cause Pritamo thinks he looks like Dan). Iain Buchanan – Joe Walsh
Ettiene Buys – The Spice Girls
Luis Dantas – Harry Belafonte
Mikel Zalakain – The Oak Ridge Boys
Ben Lowe – George Thorogood
Luiz Fernando – Gypsey Kings
Luke Redding – Teletubbies Greatest Hits
Ben Dunn is listening to Luke Redding’s favorite song. Luke told Ben that “listening to “Say Eh-Oh” really helps getting over making really horrible judging decisions.” Ben Dunn seems like he might be resisting enjoyment of Luke’s childish whims, but once he uncrosses his arms, we’ll know he’s aboard the eh-oh crew.
https://youtu.be/35aUa8dxOW0
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Spice girls. That’s harsh!
Ettiene Buys: “I’m a judge of professional surfing. If I was a Spice Girl, my nickname would be Harsh Spice! That’s actually my DJ name. DJ Harsh Spice.”
How seasoned is too seasoned?
I bet Ratso bought those teeth in Thailand.
Steve if you get the chance while you’re there you should track down the rat and see if he will do an interview for the grit. He’s such a fucking legend, an insight into Mr Buchanan’s role with the WSl would go down well, I’m sure you know him well enough to ask some gritty questions? I don’t think many even know he’s a former ASP world champion! I’m sure Derek would hook you up with a seven-ply maple hand plane and some retro swimming goggles for your troubles..
ok will see if I can track him down
Ratso is a complete legend. He’s forgotten more about judging than most judges ever learn.
Would love a BG perspective. http://www.surf2surf.com/bl…
Give us a smile, luv.
Now each’s favorite piece of literature:
Redding: Wayside School is Falling Down
Luis F.: Chronicle of a Death Foretold
Lowe: “Sherman’s Lagoon”
Zalakain: Eat, Pray, Love
Dantas: Rich Dad Poor Dad
Buys: Les Fleurs du mal
Buchanan: “I can’t read”
Pritamo: The Banality of Evil
Are the judges drug tested? Maybe they should be given some of the decisions they make.
Why do half the judges look like they smoke meth
Was thinking the term “you’ve got a head for radio” could be replaced with “a head for WSL judging”
I’m perplexed by the fact that Occy is 51 years old and his dad is only 56.
I thought Iain was Iggy for a second in that photo.
It’s definitely been said before!
I’m outta touch..again
Ratty generally listens to empty Steinlager bottles rattling in the back of an ’82 Falcon XE, but accadacca is pretty much the same thing so I’ll give you this one.