Damn this ugly ugly system!
Beware the corporation or limited liability partnership that dares cross Kelly Slater in these his salad years. While theoretically still on tour, the winningest surfer of all time has sure been acting like a retiree lately, using Instagram as his cane and beating the figurative heads of commerce. Righting wrongs. Saving money. You recall just days ago when he complained about ultra low cost local Australian air shuttle JetStar’s baggage policy.
A snippet:
Apparently the people checking you in get a kickback on what they charge you at the end of the month. Overweight charges equate to about $.50/ounce! Just paid over $200 MEL – OOL for baggage, more than the price of my ticket… again. I’ll never learn. Just FYI, not an April Fool’s joke.
Hmm. Bummer. Like all ultra low cost local air shuttles. I did not track JetStar’s share price after the whack but I certainly will check RedSpot car rental.
Kelly’s next target appears to have unkind penalties in the small print if the driver happens to get issued a traffic ticket. The 11x World Champ took a picture of the fine print that reads:
Please note a $55 infringement processing fee will be charged to the credit card provided at the…
We cannot read the rest because of the large red circle and commentary that reads:
So it cost #RedSpot car rental $55 to send the transport dept an email with my details? Hmm.
Hmm is right. Kelly Slater is now out $200 Australian for board bag fees on JetStar and another $55 Australian for rental car ticket processing fees.
Damn this ugly ugly system. Should we start a GoFundMe?
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Firstly, if you read Kelly’s twitter feed you’ll see that OK is going down the tubes. Bit of a bummer, he should have talked to Martin Potter about starting a surf brand when your star is waning.
Secondly, that parking ticket is from May 2017. It is now April 2018, so either the fuz are taking their time sending out parking infringements, or this is not a ‘new’ rant.
He’s nearly 50.
So what’s he going to do about it? Nothing. Just pay it and move on. Maybe he should of read the car rental contract before signing that he agrees to the terms. Fuck he’s a whinger.
Who’s he gonna troll next?
Sure an outerknown t-shirt for $100 bucks is not a rip off.
he said it was never a “volume play” (that’s code for “we made this for rich people”)
Poor guy gets ripped off on a shitty airline for two hundred. Now people have to pay $9.000 for a frankenstein wave in the middle of nowhere. Fuck! suck it and stop whining. That’s it
Frankenstein wave and no Shelley beach ?
Kelly is uploading videos of himself driving around barefoot while taking videos, he is asking for more tickets!
It’s not illegal to drive barefoot.
Isn’t it? Well it is illegal to be playing around on your phone when you are supposed to be driving!
Yes.
Almost got knocked over the other day by a ditsy bimbo who was on her phone instead watching for cyclists.
it’s illegal to drive with flip flops, so I usually take mine off & drive barefoot
Actually I think ( cue Pedantic Asshoke) it is not technically illegal to drive in flipflops (in Oz) but you must be in control of the vehicle and thus any unsuitable shoes (ie flip flops, high heels etc) may interfere with the pedals and cause a dangerous situation.
So road safety experts say bare feet are preferable to unsuitable shoes.
down with the oligarchy
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It should be easy for Kelly to get out of that ticket.
It’s clear that “Offense” is spelled wrong.
It’s considered offensive behavior to spell offence incorrectly in Australia .
The problem is three straight Tour stops in Oz. All that butchering of the English language has me mealy mouthed.
In an attempt to keep the flys out of their mouths , a lot of older Australians talk with their teeth closed . Try it JH and you could find yourself mastering the antipodean version of English before you can say “ watchadointhesarvo China”
Time for Kelly to employ Micks PR guy now he is no longer needed and run shit by them before posting. Kellys well on his way to destroying good work he’s done and instead of us all cheering him on in HIS last comp, people will be cheering for his opponent to beat him in Rd2.
And by the way Kelly, all your charges are tax deductible as travelling around is your job.
You charge $100 for a beanie, they $55 for admin/email. You set your price, they set theirs. Whats your point?
Very good sir
$100 for a fuckn beanie ? Holy shit.
There’s price gouging, arse rape and then there’s this.
Maybe he’ll sell a few to his bum chums on the golf course.
At least putting his clock back two hours will cost him nothing.
“I just don’t think there’s much that’s admirable in doing publicity to try to sell something. I know you have to – but it’s a catch-22.” – Kelly explaining OuterKnown’s unprecedented success
Oh, bless you. Dana Carvey never made me laugh once, but Grumpy Old Man brought me to tearful asphyxiation. And I’d forgotten. SNL is like the really abusive emotionally unavailable partner and you’re like, what am I doing with this guy, this is madness–and then you remember you were only in it for the sex in the first place, so there’s that. Still ravaged by shame, but damn.
The other option is of course, not to get a speeding ticket.
By, uh… not speeding?
Something else thats shit about Australia.
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Mate I have this happen to me in Germany and find myself screaming THIS IS NOT MY COUNTRY!
Fuck, he’s like hepatitis C and Hillary Clinton.. they just won’t go away
Well…he does have the seemingly perpetual broken foot so…
Fuck this cunt would be a punish to hang out with. He sounds like the type who would whinge about a drink order when its his shout, or want to split the bill exactly as to who spent what at a group dinner,
Surprised to see he didnt rent his car from “rent a roughie”.
I don’t know man! Maybe he needs a Life Coach. Perhaps that Tony Robbins guy. Or what about you Wigg’s?
Kelly is about 4 months away from going full blown Hare Krishna mate. The last thing he needs is more advice. Just go live a normal life, Kelly. Reconnect with your daughter. You’re only a man.
Fuck just realised that’s advice too.
Fark, there could’ve been a dime in that for ya. He would’ve paid. Then complained.
This reminds me of the photograph where Kelly is playing chess against John John. The surf media would like to portray them as brooding and highly intelligent but then you remember that they’re actually dumb cunts who didn’t go to school and got really good at surfing. John John is in fact wondering whether the Queen or Bishop tastes better and Kelly is wondering whether John John has realised Kelly doesn’t know how to play chess yet. Read the fine print or get fucked, Kelly. That’s the way of the world. Welcome to hell. No one is immune to the fucking. HAHAHahaha die Cunt die in your recycled fishing net of lies.
This ones a contender for comment of the year!
Hell yes. Some of Satans finest work !
People commenting that a comment should get comment of the year will never get comment of the year
“Your recycled fishing net of lies” is a goat comment.
Poetry!
Fucken rippa
why is no one paying you for your thoughts? would be great to see some one put their balls on the line and get a regular spot doing write or commentary (they can’t argue against your voice cos Chris cote gets our time, they can’t argue against your looks cos they use strider) waste of talent, be money well spent in my opinion. unless you hale from lake connewarre, that might hold you back