It works, mostly, depending on the "motivational state of sharks."
Have you ever dreamed of owning a small slice of a cutting-edge technology company? One that is not only a game-changer but actually saves human lives? And, best of all, is a growth industry?
One week ago, the Australian company Ocean Guardian Holdings, formerly Shark Shield, threw open its doors with an IPO (initial public offering, means they’re selling shares in the company) in the hopes of moving 25 million shares at 20 Australian cents apiece in its go-away-shark biz.
Shark Shield, if you were wondering, is one of the few technologies that has been independently proven to work, at least some of the time.
According to The Australian,
The technology behind the Shark Shield Freedom+ Surf has been shown to deter great whites from potential prey. Many divers in South Australia swear by them. The device emits electromagnetic pulses up to 2m. These pulses are detected in the sensory organ in the shark’s head called the ampullae of Lorenzini, making the shark uncomfortable. But the findings into the device’s effectiveness are inconclusive, especially in situations when the shark is in attack mode. Also, two people have died while wearing the device.
Abalone diver Peter Clarkson was wearing a Shark Shield designed for divers when he was killed near Coffin Bay, South Australia, in February 2011. He was known to switch his device on at all times while diving but nobody knows for certain whether he did so on this occasion.
Paul Buckland was wearing a SharkPOD, an earlier version of the Shark Shield, when he was attacked and killed off Ceduna in April 2002.
At the subsequent coronial inquiry, it was concluded that he had not turned the device on when he dived into the water. He reached the bottom and was collecting scallops when a shark started buzzing him. He turned the device on and swam to the surface. Once on the surface, the device’s effectiveness was reduced. He was then attacked.
Senior Sergeant RB McDonald, of South Australia’s police water operations unit, told the inquiry that such devices have “little effect” once a shark has reached a “level of excitement where it will attack”.
Asked after this week’s launch whether he agreed with this, Shark Shield managing director Lindsay Lyon said: “Look at the independent scientific research that shows that Shark Shield is capable of deterring a shark charging at … full speed.”
The research Lyon refers to was conducted by Charlie Huveneers off South Australia in 2012. A seal decoy was towed behind a boat at 10km/h. Great whites approached the decoy as if to attack and were seemingly deterred by the Shark Shield, but their speed was not recorded. The commonly agreed top speed of great whites is 40km/h but one researcher has estimated one travelling at 56km/h.
Huveneers also noted that the Shark Shield “did not deter (great whites) in all situations”, and that the effectiveness of the Shark Shield depended on the “motivational state of sharks”.
The inner-motivations of Great Whites aside, let’s examine the company’s books.
Is it viable biz? Is it worth throwing your lunch money or your life savings at?
Ain’t much profit dripping down, those big numbers in brackets down the bottom are losses, that twenty-gees in the middle is a real slim make on almost two million dollars of sales.
The company wants to raise capital, it says, to expand into the leisure boating market (who wants to see y’kid swallowed as she gets towed behind on her inflatable banana?) as well as investigate new long-range shark deterrent technology.
(Actually, $750,000 will be the cost of the float, $1.2 mill will be spent on marketing and only $1.5 mill be spent on research.)
Interestingly, the technology behind Shark Shield has been off-patent since 2016 meaning you could, theoretically, save your cash and start your own go-away-shark biz with Shark Shield technology.
In? Out? Snake oil or no?

Read that there is an ocean “dead zone” twice the size of Tassie in the Arabian sea – so first we burley the whole ocean to lead the sharks there like the pied piper – they all die. Then secondly we could run the whole tour there for the scared brazzos, and dare say land ripe for a surf ranch!!!! win win win
One thing they will have to fix is they only work on boards longer than 5.1, my kids are riding 4.6-4.10’s so can’t be protected, interestingly when I brought this up During a debate with a shark hugger she asked if i could have the kids ride longboards while they invent a kid version, needless to say I nearly attached her to a drumline.
Might just buy that Chinese one I saw at the Reject Shop.
This guy should invest. https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I loved it.
Q: How does a Hawaiian local shark greet its fellows?
A: With a ‘sharka.’
You’re welcome.
Badabomp
In the Gulf war, George Bush jr initially wanted to bombard Baghdad with Great Whites and kittens.
It was meant to be a campaign of ‘Shark and awwww.’
They changed it.
The famous basketball player Shaquille O’Neal is banned from beaches in NJ because when he approaches the cries of “Hey! Shaq! Shaq!!” frighten the bathers.
Mate, I’m confused. I’ve got Krill telling me about cats, I’ve got you telling me about kittens.
Jeez, just pony up and between the two of you give me a little pussy.
🤙🏽
Fuck that noise.
I ll stick to the bottled shark tears being peddled by a wise beyond her years deadlocked 19 year old at the Mullum markets.
Spill the beans, Krill.
Shark tears ?
Yeah mate they’re a highly sought after and very powerful aphrodisiac the Chinese don’t actually fin sharks for soup, no one eats that shit, it’s cause sharks are hard cunts to make cry
Ahhh – gotcha.
Any good ?
Oh yeah Mullum…home of so many bush hippie super models that are sneaky sexy !
Love that place.
I said this in the last shark topic, but the electric ones seem to bring sharks in close then they turn around within a certain radius. A bit weird, bringing them in real close before deterring them, if you bring the sharks in, but your buddies don’t have a deterrent do they just have to deal with it?
Why not just kill the sharks? Just whites and bulls? Job done!
Don’t you go throwing fucken logic into that argument, turts.
That would be too sensible for the greenies, mate.
No tree hugging pseudoscience for them to appreciate.
Now if you had of used the word cull. Well that might fly with them.
Doesn’t it shit you though when they keep saying ‘oceans need sharks’? Would still be plenty of sharks to keep the ocean healthy if all whites and bulls became extinct tomorrow.
Whites ? They are an apex predator but I don’t think we need to go there again (50s – 80s) and try and hammer them into extinction. But yea, in some areas they fucken need a thin out. Totally agree with that.
Bulls, can’t comment on them other than to say they’re one of the few sharks that don’t mind a bit of fresh water and can get right up into the estuaries. A guy I knew years ago caught one up by the bridge at Mooloolaba over 6′. Kids swimming in the estuary downstream, lucky I guess. But yea – if they’re a problem. Then thin them out
Like the crocs up north, right ? Some of those cunts are getting fucken cheeky.
A good old fashioned culling required ? Yep, go right ahead in my book.
Looks about as good on paper as QuikBong….
Just got to throw a couple more million on the SharkBanz Margie Pro….or the Ballina Classic?
Little children surfers tied to poles with Modem No Shark Leashes!
I’ll get to reading the article in a moment. Just had to say that with a company name like “Ocean Guardian Holdings”, if that company doesn’t have Laird Hamilton sitting on its Board of Directors, they are nothing but a cardboard box full of little puppies. Period.
They changed the name to Ocean Guardians from Shark Shield as a “softening of the brand.” Very clever, yes?
Yes! Clever like a fox. Like a super-powered optics pivot. Ocean Guardian. Ocean fuckit’ing Guardian. From what? The big, bad soulless Nocean? Well why the fuck didn’t they say so?!? The name alone Stan Lee would be impressed by. Such yang to Kelly’s yin.
Agree. Its all in the name.
Casper the Friendly Ghost is a far more inviting cartoon then Casper the Dead Kid !
Ocean Guardian, the friendly Deterrent.
Unfortunately for them, does not hide the fact that it’s a dog.
I’ll call it OMG – I could be Dead in the Water.
You’ve fkn done it mate! Call shark bans immediately and tell em magnets are fkd.What do sharks love? Dogs apparently and the opposite of dog is cat.
We need more cats, less magnets.
Jordy “Cat Nipples” Smith approves this message.
The only thing I know about sharks, mate, is when they decide to full on attack its outright aggression, rage and hate. Like a meth fuelled psycho.
Nothing deters them. Amazing to see.
Laird prefers other directors to NOT have periods!
Laird has the word “NOT” tattooed on his chest. But when Laird looks in the mirror, he sees “TON”. No one has the heart to tell him the truth of his NOT soul.
Laird rescues people.