Ross Williams (pictured bottom left) looking taciturn.
Ross Williams (pictured bottom left) looking taciturn.

The unbearable weight of being (a coach)!

"At the end of the day it’s good to eat humble pie!"

With Filipe Toledo’s win in Brazil we are now officially… wow I was going to write halfway though the 2018 World Surf League Championship Tour but we’re only three events in. Three! Can you believe it? I mean, I suppose we’re really four events in if we count Margaret River as an “event” and I think we should because it was certainly action-packed and the perfect set up for Founders Cup in Lemoore, California where neither shark nor dolphin swim.

There are, of course, many intriguing storylines.

-Will Julian Wilson hold on to win his first ever world title?

-Will Filipe Toledo, instead, swoop in and claim his first of many crowns?

-Will the upcoming Lemoore Classic be as dull as the just passed Founders Cup?

-Will Uluwatu shine in the spotlight?

-Will John John Florence continue his subpar performance and who is to blame?

Let’s break this last intriguing storyline down.

-Maybe no one is to blame.

-Maybe John John is to blame.

-Maybe John John’s coach Ross Williams is to blame.

Hmmmm. It is rude to blame Ross, certainly. He does not tie on the boardshorts nor does he paddle into waves BUT he is coach and, as such, his entire job is to make John John win. Ross addressed these concerns on Instagram and let us read.

Johns had a couple poor results this year but it was never due to a lack of effort or will. Despite all the talk, some warranted and frankly some due to just laziness in my opinion, John has been surfing with the same conviction and froth as the last two years. All these amazing surfers go through their dry runs. It happens. He had a couple insane rides in his heat today but honestly I was happier with how well he built to his aggression. He fought hard for a couple scores which led to him putting the hammer down. Funny how much John gets scrutinized against his own potential. He’s had some of the most aggressive and progressive rides this year and some decent heat totals. Just a couple sloppy heats in the mix to give him those bad results. It’s a testimony more to the level of the tour. Everyone rips. At the end of the day it’s good to eat humble pie. I think it’s made his fire even stronger. He will continue to draw different lines and push the sport with integrity. Hoping it will inspire the yarners to do the same.

A fine post but I have a few more questions.

-Why is it funny how John John gets scrutinized against his own potential?

-Which of the talk is warranted and which is lazy?

-Is it really good to eat humble pie?

-What’s a yarner?

Most pundits have buried John John’s year, concluding he is too deep down the rankings for a comeback. The World Surf League’s own official mouthpiece seems to agree, suggesting people should be worried. Ross seems unperturbed but being a coach ain’t easy. The NBA’s Toronto Raptors just fired theirs after he won Coach of the Year.

A heavy burden. An unbearable weight.

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rwvbwl
rwvbwl
8 years ago

Here’s Johnnie’s last heat:
http://www.worldsurfleague….
Kinda odd to see JJF using the same bright yellow airbrush like Pat Gud~y was recently using.
Odd too to see JJF get last in this heat…

Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
8 years ago

A lot to this coaching gig , and its 99% not about catching waves.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

Ross is a yarner. That is his actual job. Fucken guy talks for a living. Calling out people for talking. Jeez.

One of my fav commentators, less likable as shitty coach.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
8 years ago

The Unbearable Weight of Being (a Couch)!…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

I hate that one of my favourite authors is being dragged into this. Sorry Milan, Im sure you understand.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Especially when he’ll have to harvest it to reinforce John John’s if JJF keeps taking it on the chin this season.

Another uneducated opinion
Another uneducated opinion
8 years ago

John just needs to have a baby and take a tumble whilst mountain biking, pretty simple i dont understand how Ross cannot see it. At this rate 10% of Johns prize money wont cover his coastalwatch subscription.

paulo de tarso
paulo de tarso
8 years ago

All that Double J Single F needs is Ross begin to grow his abilities as coach, bringing new stuffs and techniques…
And Ross has just started!

Take care Ricardo Toledo !!!

https://youtu.be/9fOmYjI-6p8

Toin coss
Toin coss
8 years ago
Toin coss
Toin coss
8 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

Coaching from the lot

Gourmet Kook
Gourmet Kook
8 years ago

Is Ross on his shoulder? – sailingwise; I don’ sink so, unless we mean pericazos

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

A couple of. Not just “a couple”. Fuckin sepppos.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

An aussie calling somebody out for abbreviating’s a little rich Tomo.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Haaa yeah. I haven’t had good waves in a while. Irrational and crazy is setting in!

longtom
longtom
8 years ago

Another question: what does Ross actually do for his ten percent?

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Grows a second chin?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

He says things such as, “Funny how John John gets scrutinised against his own potential”. Worth every cent for insights like that.

abs(ə)nt
abs(ə)nt
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

No questions please! You don’t want to upset the old guard..

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

here’s another one for ya!
It looks like JJF’s boards this year are not letting him finish his waves with his normal speed and flair …..are his boards a bit narrow and short?
I watched JJF 2 years ago in the Final in France against Keanu , and JJ was pretty average in smaller lefts , looked like his achilles heel…….. same with the lefts in Brazil , his board looked ..not magic, wonder if he has a magic board this year?

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

What about that board he was riding at Margaret River in 2017. He looked really locked in on that stick.

We give a lot of shit to the surfers, coaches, couches, judges etc but seem so willing to give shapers a wide berth to make sled adjustments that don’t seem to pan out. Is Dez too in love with Pyzel?

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Great point. Shapers need some BG wrath. They don’t all look good “Under their Feet”*

* We know where the board fucken is.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Are you suggesting that some writers leave shapers alone from interrogative probing coz they get the sly delivery ?
Surely not here at this epitome of truth and light ?

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

If Otto isn’t, I am.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

(GASP)

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

up vote for melodrama

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Listens to surf simply podcast, writes down the terminology, coughs it back up, and mails an invoice. John will send him packing after this season, mark my words.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

about 1%

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  longtom

father figure? filling a void?

longtom
longtom
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

possibly.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago

humble pie is fine as long as it doesn’t look like johns chin.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

The term, box wool, springs to mind.

Ashton's Yellow Hat
Ashton's Yellow Hat
8 years ago

John needs to ditch the broad. She was standing with Ross in the coaches corner at Bells, and we all know what happened there.

lolaruns
lolaruns
8 years ago

what happened

Kimbos
Kimbos
8 years ago

Out with it !

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

Is there a Yoko? Do tell!

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Pictures or it never happened.

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago

Let’s face it: Zeke just destroyed John John mentally. Hopefully it doesn’t take the whole year for him to recover.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

FYI ZEKE IS A FUCKEN KOOK

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Yep I’m off him. He could surf better.

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
8 years ago

But Johnnie + Zeke have been competin’ against each other, their peers too,
since they were like 10 years old or something like that. Surely that wasn’t their 1st time that they have had paddle battles, ya know? Johnnie wanted inside position + tried to get it. Zeke had it, he didn’t wanna give it up, so he kept it. Wiggolly, would you give me inside position if I challenged you?

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago
Reply to  rwvbwl

I don’t give a fuck about John John. It’s Zeke’s personality that makes him a kook.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

Gansta/religious is so dull.

Karl Myers
Karl Myers
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

I’m not buying the fact that Zeke has anything to do with JJ’s results (Bells aside). A white, blond, skinny kid who learned to thrive in Hawaii and then become 2x world champ has thick skin, period. It’s simply some off results, JJ is shredding as always.

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
8 years ago
Reply to  Karl Myers

JJF’s board sucked in that last heat, simple as that.
He fell on some pretty basic turns…

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago
Reply to  Karl Myers

Fact

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Ah,
but ‘blue~collar’ Aussie Wade Carmichael
didn’t wanna help out ‘poor millionaire’ Johnnie either!
Go check out the 29:20+ mark of their last heat together, linked below:
http://www.worldsurfleague….
What’s Pete say? Wade’s givin’ J~Flo² “a psychological moment”?
Hahaha, too funny…

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago

If Ross can help him turn this year around he will truly deserve the title of Coach Coach.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

But what if he don’t? Chopping block?

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

You can’t take credit for the wins without taking responsibility for the losses, but I don’t see John John firing him, they both seem too rational.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

I agree, but then you have to ask, what’s the value of a coach if I’m not making semis/finals ? Would I be any worse off without one ?
I dunno, above my pay grade.

Surfings so fucken random, if JJ gets the right waves he’ll carve them up.
If not, the door is open.

SB
SB
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

God I hope so… Get Pete Mel out of that damn commentator’s booth!!!!!!

Another uneducated opinion
Another uneducated opinion
8 years ago
Reply to  SB

Pete Mel? You’re tripping, pottz and chris cote need to go. Even the other new bloke was better.

Krypto Jackson
Krypto Jackson
8 years ago

Pete is awesome and so is Cote.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Krypto Jackson

Why only two in the booth? It’s a hard job at the best of times trying to polish the turd of pro surfing. A third commentator would take the pressure off those poor cunts with middling if any formal education trying their best to string together a coherent commentary.
And not some random chiropractor, FFS.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Why not go whole-hog and get about 30 of them in there, all jabbering away at the same time?

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Cote v Joey for the final !
Joe will need to keep his distance. Those zen kung fu hand jives from Cote are brutal.
Cote will need all his wits about him – the velvety monotone from Joe can put the most hyped grom to sleep.
The others don’t stand a chance. Theyll either be chopped to bits or coma’d on the floor.
Pottz seems to have a high resilience to the somnambulant factor tho’, he might just make it to the final.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

Aw, I wasn’t thinking violence. It would be like a room full of semi-retarded man-chickens, all clucking, crowing, shitting, flappingly trying to hump the sofa cushions.

Or how about this:
Different booths for different commentary tastes.

The Giggling Drug Reference Guys: “He’s tucking another line under the hood! Tee hee hee..”

The Sweaty Sexy Orgy commentary team: “Ooooh! Uuhhh!!! Tuck it under the HOOD…. !!! Oooooff”

Le Fashionistas: “Attende! Observe the subtlety of beige and cerulean combo as ‘e tucks it again under ze ‘ood. Ooh Três chic! Is all about ‘ooods zis year dahling…”

The White Supremicist Commentary: “Whoooo-weeee boy! Loookatim go. He’s tuckinit rat unduh thaaat hooood lak a good clansman. Hand me that burnin cross Bobby, I wanna scare the locals a bit.”

The Rapperists: “Uh, uh, uh, one time. Yo. Check him out y’all. Uh. Tuckin it unduh dat hood y’all. In da Hood TIGHTch’allnowud’ahmtalkinabout. Awww YEAH!! MAKE IT RAIN MUTHAFUCKA!”

…ok I’m bored.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Now you’re talking, maybe a few would fight, a few would be drunk and disgrace themselves etc

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Ross is my pick in the booth over Cote.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Good on analysis.
But boring as fuck when he was used too often.

No one can instantly identify how many degrees of rotation like Cote.

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

Cote knows what he’s talking about…it’s just his delivery that bothers me.

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Hey where’s Joe , wouldn’t they let him go , with a gun in his hand?

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

I’m quite sure they’ll be back tucking it under the hood again at Keramas.
They just forgot how to do it at Saq

Vegetable Lasagna
Vegetable Lasagna
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

Cote’ should take to signing for the blind.. magic hands

Another uneducated opinion
Another uneducated opinion
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

John will need him on the QS, but does not need him on the CT.


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