Dispatched: Controversial shaper disappears!

Likes games of "yellow face" and says, "Fuck Asian imports." Can you guess?

Yesterday it was revealed, via the comments pane below a Kelly Slater Don’t Like Brazil story, that the Instagram account of Peter Schroff had been disappeared.

Name familiar? Maybe.

The Newport, California, based Schroff is a shaper of note, if only regionally, who made his name in the nineteen eighties with his eye-catching graphic design and surfboards painted like happy goldfish.

In recent months, Schroff, who is sixty three years old and who calls himself “da pimp”, mounted an online attack on surfboards that were built in Asian countries.

It’s important to note… Asian countries… ’cause it ain’t Australian-made or Japanese-made boards he was going after, but those built in south-east Asia for fairly obvious labour-cost reasons.

Despite a power base of only a few hundred followers his often very funny Photoshopped images of Kelly Slater and Mark Price (who build their Firewire boards mostly in Asia) were successful in engaging everyone from Shane Dorian to Joel Tudor and innumerable shapers and surfers.

You may remember such classics as Blood Feud: Schroff v Hayden Cox, Relentless: Schroff’s War on Mark Price, Peter Schroff Does Yellow Face, Modern: Peter Schroff Doubles Down and Three-Way: Dorian v Tudor v Schroff.

But now? The Peter Schroff show has gone. What…who… iced it?

Had Hayden Cox, an early target, or Mark Price/Kelly Slater, current villains of choice for Schroff mounted legal cases?

I called Hayden who said he had switched off from Schroff and hadn’t seen his account in a year or so.

Maybe I should call Price, he said.

I called Mark Price, a former pro surfer from South Africa turned Firewire CEO and whom I like, who said he hadn’t complained, via IG, Facebook or otherwise.

Price told me, “The only thing I can think of is that Facebook revised its terms of use, coming down harder on racism and homophobia and cyber-bullying. Maybe he hit that threshold in their estimation.”

Price added, “He has every right to advocate his position. Personally, I didn’t like how he did it. I’m sure it’ll rear its ugly head elsewhere. The issue is far from over.”

And Schroff?

The contact button is gone from his website, he doesn’t answer Facebook messages and, when his IG account was live, he didn’t respond to DM requests for a interview.

You out there, sissy-boy?

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East of the 5
East of the 5
8 years ago

Agreed, I have a few and they go well. See the sales directer and CEO in the water all over North SD. They seem like good guys and they’re headquarters are in Carlsbad so I don’t feel guilty about buying their boards.

Preston
Preston
8 years ago

Let me put one thing to rest: Peter Schroff is a master craftsman as it relates to surfboard manufacturing. Known him for over 30 years and have ridden his boards. We can disagree as to his humorous attempts to bring light to a very real conversation about SE Asian manufacturing, but he is for real as a shaper, as well as a very talented artist.

Jonathan Utah
Jonathan Utah
8 years ago
Reply to  Preston

There is absolutely no way 99% of his boards work for shit other than a talking piece, which further harms his argument. Xenophobia + Shitty Merican Boards = Invalid Point

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago

“fuck asian imports”
for a second there I thought I had opened the wrong page.

Manuka
Manuka
8 years ago

Slater sent Schroff to Mars aboard his Tesla roadster

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

Damn. Can you imagine the Chopes-type pool that Elon would build if he was into surfing?

Manuka
Manuka
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

He would even create an autopilot for the tube ride and maybe explode if it hit the “reef”

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Manuka

I believe this to be totally do-able. Although never at Chopes, I have Otto piloted into reefs on several occasions, and each time was convinced, if for just a brief moment, that one of my limbs had exploded.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Chopool!

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago

I insist on taking credit for some of the investigative journalism here.

It was an honour

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago

Are his boards any good?

Not even in conventional performance terms. There are good shapers who don’t focus on hpsb, but they make good boards obviously.

Going by the article I see his main redeeming feature is somewhat garish sprays. Each to their own x

Tired old guy
Tired old guy
8 years ago

Had a friend, a good surfer, bring in a Schroff twin fin he’d purchased and wondered why he was having troubles on it.. I speculated that the fins up at 11” weren’t helping the cause. He had me shape him a replacement

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

I reckon that guy was a classic case of trying to be relevant. Make some boards, don’t yell at people for making boards. It’s dull, even when you use chainsaws

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

In honor of the recently departed, when does a journalist do anything relevant other than taking notes on what others are doing or commenting on the relevancy of their actions?

Jack Hokanson
Jack Hokanson
8 years ago
Reply to  Ami Lost

Yeah Nick, how was your trip to the Surf Ranch? Keep playing your role in the game.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

D’ya think Kelly finally snapped, partially due to the anti-climax of the Nocean, and has Ole Schroffskers tied to the rails of the kookpond train tracks?

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Fuk mate he’d put 70% of BG on the rails in the first 100 meters
I’m sure he has a list.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

🎶 …He’s checking it twice!
He’s gonna railroad da naughty and da nice!

GOATY claws is comin, da kine.
🎶

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
8 years ago

I started following him about two months ago after a post on here, then unfollowed him a couple weeks ago. I’m down for the cause but damn he was childish.

Also his boards were probably shit. Then again if I see someone riding a hypto at this point I usually roast them on principle.

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
8 years ago

At least Schroff went out on a high note, his taking a chainsaw to some Firewires in the parking lot of the Board Room show was practically performance art.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Goodbye Horses

Zackely – it’s a performance, with its flaws.
But more like – a statement.
Take from it whatever you want.

Karl Myers
Karl Myers
8 years ago
Reply to  Goodbye Horses

Did he really do that? Do tell…

Roquefort
Roquefort
8 years ago
Reply to  Karl Myers

an empty car park after the event.. no crowds, no nothing.. nothing but a desperate old man trying to get likes..looser!

East of the 5
East of the 5
8 years ago

Schroff’s boards look like Tom Eberly’s boards if Eberly shaped them with his feet and was color blind.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

I do like the sprays, very much. This surfboard, however, has an overwhelmingly unpleasing shape. Don’t you think? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

astro
astro
8 years ago

Fins are under the round tail, right ?
Just got his logo wrong way round.
Oughta go ok.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

leg rope plug should always be mounted in the front, gives you something to grab onto as the rollers crash over you.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

Has the look of a board that hangs in a tourist t-shirt shop, right next to the spring break 18′ tank tops.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
8 years ago
Reply to  Captain Clark

Missing the Bud Light or Pacifico logo, otherwise, spot on.

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
8 years ago
Reply to  Black Rubber

That is definitely a Malibu Rum advertising board, not a beer logo board.

RS
RS
8 years ago
Reply to  Captain Clark

This spring break could be his last. . . . Mav if you stop drinking you die!
Look it up — Buzzed trailer. The best movie never made.

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
8 years ago

dildo model…

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Schroffd – The unexpected yet welcome disappearance of an individuals and/or company’s social media presence.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I’ll give him ups for his photoshop work tho’.
Some of that is brilliant.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

I love the Kelly series. So many hairstyle ideas for the GOAT. If he had hair.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

That’s a big part of his art.
A constant reminder.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Schroff* may not be keen to buy into Firewire’s business model, but he sure is paying the price now.

*it’s funny how auto-correct figured I must have meant “Schroff’d” when I first typed “Schroff”. That auto-correct tosses it’s witty hat in the ring from time to time I guess.

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Paying the PRICE haha

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Fuck, why can’t Laird or the ’89 world champ go missing.

astro
astro
8 years ago

Laird says: When you’re lost sing the SUP fight song !
“Sing if you’re glad to be gay.
Sing if you’re happy that way !”

Neah Kah Nie Pirate
Neah Kah Nie Pirate
8 years ago

We all look at most of the blog posts on this site, and we can crack off a few funny jokes and get a good laugh out of the whole thing. There’s an undercurrent of “yeah, it’s messed up that pro surfers like these manage to marginalize the actual act of surfing,” but we can shrug it off because “lolcoptrz, look at those dumb claims… what an idiot!” We laugh at some trivial part of the situation, and by so doing, we alleviate the parts of it which, deep down, we’re actually pissed off about.
 
Maybe at the end of the day, focusing on and ridiculing the minutiae isn’t always the best thing to do, because it marginalizes the true travesty and allows us to ignore the aspects which we should be taking seriously. It’s a coping mechanism and sure, humans need their coping mechanisms in order to still live a happy life despite knowing of the atrocity which is going on in the world. They are necessary to psychological health. But what happens when the coping mechanism goes too far, when it allows us to pretend a problem doesn’t exist when it clearly does? In those cases we need strong examples. Harsh, brutal, unmitigated reminders that there’s a problem out there, and it’s serious.

And by serious, I mean it is… pro surfing.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago

God, I’m stupid. In layman’s terms?

Neah Kah Nie Pirate
Neah Kah Nie Pirate
8 years ago

In layman’s terms: I’m bored, stuck in a hotel, and grew tired of masturbating to On Demand movies. My apologies good sir.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago

Oh now we’re on turf I can plunder. Tell me the movies.

astro
astro
8 years ago

I dunno Derek, sounds like they were fairly slack.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago

Yeah, was it Moana or Frozen?

PacificNorthPest
PacificNorthPest
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

That chicken from Moana is quite the hottie!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

May i paraphrase for you Derek?
1.) Beachgrit is funny
2.) Pro surfing is stupid
3.) Laughing at funny stuff isn’t always that funny
4.) Laughing too much is dangerous
5.) Pro surfing is a big, serious problem

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

I’m just so… superficial …and altogether not that bright. I think I sorta get now. Uh.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

I don’t get it either, I just know what it says!

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

Sissy boy! Not just a shot across the bow. Total torpedo at midship, and down she goes! I love it.


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