Matt Biolos: “The (Tesla) boards are works of fully functional art!”

And the South African wizard Elon Musk got final approval!

Hooo-eee, don’t it feel good to work a teat until the milk flow is weak and only the brownish, sluggish colostrum is still being expelled.

For the past few days we’ve taken the reader on a comprehensive ride, first, with the worldwide announcement of the Musk x Biolos collaboration surfboard (read, Genuis: Matt Biolos and Elon Musk Create Tesla Surfboard Fashioned in Black Carbon), then the news that all two hundred boards had been sold (read, Insanely Popular: Tesla Sells Out of Musk x Biolos Surfboards).

Today, a little behind-the-scenes juice from Biolos, who says the collab happened after “one of the WSL athlete’s managers reached out and told me that Tesla was looking for someone to partner with on a ‘special surfboard’. ”

“The bottom line,” says Matt, “is the boards are works of fully functional art. The Black Dart build is legit. They work really well. It’s such a true collab because we are delivering a sanded finish board and they do the flood/matte finish in the car factory!

Matt says he had a little chat with the “Tesla people” and told ’em what was realistically possible, i.e. the sled wasn’t gonna have interplanetary ability or a built-in television screen.

“The bottom line,” says Matt, “is the boards are works of fully functional art. The Black Dart build is legit. They work really well. It’s such a true collab because we are delivering a sanded finish board and they do the flood/matte finish in the car factory! I’ve never really heard of a major product collab where both brands actually contribute to real construction and labor on the finished product. It’s not like Burton X Star Wars or anything.”

Biolos says while there was no direct contact with Elon Musk himself (note to reader: all three images featured in our stories have been manipulated in Photoshop) “he signed off on the concept and was well aware of our progress and execution and got the final approval.”