You wanted a Tesla surfboard? Too late!
You might’ve thought, two days ago, when Lost announced that it had combined with Tesla to make a $US1500 surfboard fashioned from carbon fibre that it might be a hard sell.
Of course, two geniuses and the might of the world’s most innovative tech giant made it a compelling sell.
For us poor men who work we must be careful how we squander our (pitiful) treasure, however. Food, a car, a little booze, maybe a gal of the night, occasionally, that’s about it.
Well, how about this?
Two days after the launch, all 200 boards had been sold.
Perhaps typical of the sorta consumer who’d buy a $US1500 Tesla board is Marques Brownlee, the tech YouTuber (six-and-a-half-million subscribers) and “ultimate frisbee pro”. New Jersey born Brownlee, who is twenty four and who doesn’t surf, announced to his almost three million Twitter followers that he’d bought the Musk x Mayhem collab.
Brownlee’s fans, predictably, went nuts, the tweet liked 11,000 times and retweeted 800 times.
Let’s do a little mathematics.
Two hundred surfboards at 1500 apiece? Why, that equals 300 gees.
Ain’t a bad biz model.
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“Just a publicity stunt”… someones thinking…. nothing more nothing less.
Pair this board with the previously sold out Tesla flamethrower and you’ve solved Malibu. Elon Musk truly is a genius!
https://icdn6.digitaltrends…
Surely there’s a market for Beachgrit coffee tables?
don’t want em to high, they need to be easy to leap over.
Yeah I wonder about this. The comment section has become a little stale, I think.
Speak for yourself, it’s all I have to live for these days.
Is the tesla board vegan? Makes sense it sold out now
You a butcher/farmer, Mr Arms? Apparently the carbon fibres are organically sourced.
Charlie and I are accepting ideas.
Do some semi hip cool boardshorts but only like size 28 and 30 so no cunt on here can buy them.
Beach Grit x Kylie Jenner makeup for surfing/cave diving. Kaching.
Matt seems like a good human, and he’s a fugn good shaper, so I hope he does well out of this. However, I’d rather eat cold poison and warm dog shit than support Mr Musk.
Why do you dislike Elon? Ain’t he the great visionary?
Clever techy, mebe not so clever people-wise.
BG should be allowed to take over his Twitter handle for 48 hours and garner some extra hatred from Venice Adjacent etc.
I’m not sure, I’d like someone to explain me what a visionary is!
He developped a small app for newspapers in the nineties, and sold it for a lot of millions of dollars. that’s great (for him) but does not make him a visionary. Then he bought paypal, if I get it right, but did not invented the system. He thought it was a good idea, and then sold it for more millions of dollars. Good for him… Tesla motors wasn’t funded by Musk. He is into new technologies, he could be a great businessman, a wise one, but I’d discuss the “visionary” definition.
Wrong guy. Yer thinking of Peter Thiel. A prime oxygen-thief.
Not quite. Musk receive US$ 165 millions when Paypal was acquired by Ebay.He was the largest shareholder of paypal.
Ok Walt.
Hadn’t realised that. Good stuff. Shows how incestuous it all is up there.
The more I read about him, the shittier he seems.
Someone who has the vision to both understand new tech, see the potential and successfully mass market it? Someone with not only a vision of off-planet colonisation, but a plan to get us there?
That’s the point. I’m discussing the visionary term.
He sure understand new techs, but what did he successfully mass marketed again?
The vision of off-planet colonisation is not a vision anymore, neither is the plan to get us there. These are old visions from numerous people!
He has the means, I don’t discuss this point, but I still disagree with the term visionary.
Visionary: “thinking about or planning the future with imagination or wisdom”
– Seems like an apt description to me.
Government frontman… wait and see. Biggest Ponzi ever next to faceFuuk and Google.
He and eveyone else i.e. NASA are not giving any facts on Van Allen belt… just give us government funding.
Do some research… you will burn up before you get through the belts….oh not to say you will make it anywhere in a lifetime….these planets are too far away.
It’s all a shack down to tax you…bend over🤔
The guy in a government front conman. He’s only the spokesperson…. the technology has been around for a while he’s just giving us lip service…..the guy creates nothing.
When this ship crashes so will everyones 401k….and the conman will slide out the back door.
If you are not paying attention… there’s a massive redistribution of wealth taking place globally…super rich and poor.
Just watch… laughable!
Musk has been Doxxing journalists and critics of his stock – like personally going out of his way to find the individual people and cause them career harm or get them fired. he also called one of the thai cave rescue volunteers a Pedo on twitter for saying his SpacexTesla™ submarine wouldn’t work in the cave.
https://www.bizjournals.com…
The way he acted during the Thailand cave rescue mission was the last straw. He was downright nasty and vindictive, because the authorities didn’t embrace him as the Great Messiah.
I find him a narcissist, always trying to bring attention to himself and his ideas. He’s obviously very intelligent, yet often misses the point completely. Just my two cents, Derek.
If only he had the surfboards back then I’m sure the authorities would have been keen. Duckdive and paddle all through that cave system.
Sorry Mads, I couldn’t help but notice that you wrote “fugn”, and I wondered if you might need some help swearing.
Please refer to this guide for, uh, guidance.
http://ptos.moderntoss.com
Yeah can’t support Musk either. I’m in Seattle, and the Tesla is clearly the small-dick car of this place and era. Seriously, every pear-shaped tech douche that steps out of one for all the world seems to be packing little more than a swollen clitoris and whatever fucking apps you wave around the cash register to pay for shit.
+ for “pear-shaped tech douche”
Tesla / BG commetariat collaboration: limited edition carbon fibre witty bullshit.
Only purchased by those that have never commented here but have the money to hang it on their fancy apartment wall.
Learn to be a Leech™ !
Come and test your writing skills with Chas and Derek !
(They might learn something.)
I just ate a whole value pack of muesli bars. Will I ever take a shit again?
Oat Bran FTW!
You’re going to have to choose a side. Brownlee or Browngrant?
Only if Sophie allows you to take a dump.
Prune juice man… prune juice.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
It’s all gravy till one of them unexpectedly pyrotechnical side shows with a jet of very lit fire, hues of crimson red fed by battery acid. Don’t tell me Elon didn’t put a small battery to harvest user information.
Say that doesn’t happen, is the split between Elon and Biolos even?
I’m gonna guess that Biolos got a straight-up fifty-k royalty.
Speaking of guess, Stab’s DNA is Guess Jeans.
Bullshit…Musk is a conman!
Do you think? I read contradictory reports.
You read. He dread.
He’s a Rastafarian?
More scared haired. Like a white guy with dreads. Scarey is it not?
Esp when they reach 35 and start going thin on top.
There’s a good reason Jebus wasn’t born on Jamaica: He’d look shit with dreadlocks.
I don’t have a problem with Jamaican Rastafari. White guy dreadlocks are something different altogether. Veggie ragie dready da fadey Haiku Maui jadey “Tesla’s a government funded Corp never made a profit to date. Oh a America at the land of the” white rustic wrongsta afraidy.
Stand-Up Conspiracy Boarders are indeed rather tiring.
I upvoted you sir but must footnote that Haiku is a pretty fucking great place
There’s little to any truth in anything we read.
No moon landings..Elon never put a car in space..3 building never came down by 2 planes flown by 8 muzzies. Tesla’s a government funded Corp never made a profit to date. Oh a America at the land of the free. But it is the land of the fee.🤔
But does GM, for example, make a profit? Ford? NASA is gov-funded. Making an electric car that hollers to 60 in a few seconds is a helluva effort.
Saw one yesterday.. had had nice lines!
They’re all just moving government money around and the investors.. individuals 401k..are all going to get fleased in the end. The house rules never leave with your money. Do some research on who these guys all are…all a member of the tribe. Completely rigged Ponzi scheme.
Turn the news and TV off…as they control that too.
Is the earth really flat ?
I’ve seen my next board on your site Brutus, hopefully not Tesla priced so I can wrangle some cash from the family budget sooner rather than later. It was actually your Firewire debate that made me take a look and boom there was something I’d been thinking about but didn’t know who would get what I wanted.
I guess so. The flat earth society will show you how the UN flag looks like the map of the flat earth. If that’s not an evidence…
I struggle with all the $;s spent on sattelites which revolve around the earth, show a spherical planet , so it,s not real?
Some say it’s not. They say it’s all about wide angle lens. I’m fascinated by those flat earth theories.
Ha , I,m fascinated by those who say we are Fucking the earth theories , and when will we pass the point of no return!
No sure but until I see it for myself…I believe nothing.
I realized everything we’ve been told is lies.
Good to see you trust your eyes!
I totally agree!
“What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.”
Wise words of a stable genius!
I once looked at myself in the mirror , and saw a stable Genius , but I looked down and questioned my thought process as I was wearing a straight jacket , and the backdrop was padded Walls!
Debt=slavery
Tesla definitely has hallmarks of a Ponzi scheme.
https://www.zerohedge.com/n…
The latest report on this Ponzi scheme…comm comments say everything.